Joe Sharkey At Large

The first strategies a young business traveler learns are the ones for avoiding that dread middle seat, at least to the extent possible. There are those of us who have flown an unnecessary several thousand miles or so at the end of the year just to ensure that we re-qualfy for the elite status that gives us the best shot at priority seat choice — that is, avoiding the middle seat.

So here’s an interesting survey today from 3M Privacy Filters, which makes among other things products to protect your laptop-screen privacy from prying eyes in the next seat. (Which of course adds up to two next seats if you’re stuck in the middle).

“… according to a survey commissioned in April 2009 by 3M Privacy Filters, only 1 percent of those polled actually prefer to sit in the middle seat and 80 percent say they go out of their way to avoid it on a full flight. But, what is it about the middle seat that bothers people the most? Is it the cramped quarters? Lack of privacy? Rude seatmates? These survey findings reveal travelers’ true feelings and some insights about the middle seat “experience.”

…

—A majority of Americans would rather get stuck in traffic (56 percent), go on a blind date (56 percent) or go to the dentist (54 percent) than sit in the middle seat on a full flight.

—People dislike the middle seat so much they go to great lengths to avoid it altogether. Fifty percent of people said they would be likely to take an aisle seat being offered on the next available flight, while one in five Americans (20 percent) say they would actually stay overnight at an airport hotel for an aisle seat on the first flight the next morning!

—Nine percent of Americans report that they would refuse to sit in the middle seat on a full flight if it was more than 1-2 hours.

Top Five Middle Seat Annoyances

1. Having a nosy seatmate peering over your shoulder (84 percent)

2. Crawling over someone to get to the bathroom (83 percent)

3. Not being able to stretch out (83 percent)

4. Having an overweight seatmate on either side of you (80 percent)

5. Not having a place to rest your head (71 percent)

* Despite all the annoyances that come with sitting in the middle seat, nearly nine in 10 Americans are concerned with being a “good” middle seat occupant. After all, who wants to be rude?

Middle Seat Etiquette

—When sitting in the middle seat, you are subject to bad etiquette from neighbors on both sides. With in-flight wi-fi available on many flights, 65 percent of people are concerned about nosy neighbors snooping on personal or work emails and with good reason, since 49 percent of people admit to glancing at strangers’ computer screens.

—However, there seem to be some discrepancies about proper etiquette. While 6 percent of people believe both armrests belong to the person sitting in the middle seat, the rest either had no idea of the proper etiquette (51 percent), believe one armrest belongs to the person in the middle (22 percent) or believe half of each armrest belongs to the person in the middle (21 percent).

—Nearly two-thirds of Americans (63 percent) agree that there is absolutely nothing good about sitting in the middle seat on a full airplane flight. However, some travelers do try to see the silver lining. An optimistic 17 percent say sitting in the middle seat means you do not get hit by the drink cart and 15 percent suggest that sitting in the middle gives you a chance to meet and talk to interesting people.”

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Myself, I’ll take being whacked by the drink cart any day over being wedged in a middle seat.

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Alaska Airlines and JetBlue ranked highest, in the network carrier and low-cost carrier segments respectively, in the annual airline customer-satisfaction survey by J.D. Power and Associates.

Following Alaska in the network rankings were Continental and Delta. Following JetBlue in the low-cost segment rankings were Southwest and WestJet.

On the other hand, the report found that “overall customer satisfaction with airlines in 2009 has declined for a third consecutive year … The decline is driven by decreased customer satisfaction with in-flight services, flight crew, and costs and fees, compared with 2008.”

Uh, wait a minute here. I do think I see a discrepancy. “Decreased customer satisfaction” with “costs?” Wot? Air fares this year have generally been at their lowest levels in memory, as airlines struggle to fill seats and gin up revenue any way they can. Airlines have not been able to cut capacity fast enough to keep pace with the plunge in demand.

Just goes to show you that these “surveys,” while generally useful in an anecdotal way, reflect the fact that some of the respondents don’t know what they’re talking about.

Some airline customers, it seems to me, persist in the absurd belief that they’re being shaken down every time they board a plane for that $180 round-trip flight between, say, Boston and Orlando. There’s a segment of the market, long conditioned by a variety of airline “consumer” writers, that basically believes they should fly somewhere close to free.

I pound on the airlines fairly regularly, but economics are very plain.

This is an industry in dire financial shape, and some deluded passengers are in for a very rude awakening once the surviving carriers manage to cut capacity even more — and raise fares to the point where they can make a profit.

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As competitors rush to install AirCell’s GoGo WiFi connections on their domestic fleets, Continental Airlines has been very coy about any plans to improve lagging cabin in-flight entertainment and/or connectivity on its domestic aircraft.

However, Continental says it plans to install DIRECTV seatback satellite TV systems on its newer 737s and on its 757-300s. Here’s the quiet Continental announcement.

So far, Continental has outfitted 10 of 23 737-900 ERs and expects to have all of those models completed by September. Its 108 737-800s will be done by August 2010, with other 737s and its 17 757-300s to follow (by January 2011).

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