So this afternoon I drove to Orlando to pick up my mom, who was arriving on LH from FRA. She has a convention here in Orlando tomorrow, so I booked a cheap Hampton Inn instead of driving back to Tampa with her tonight since she has to be back here tomorrow, and I get stay credits and she gets more rest. My mom had a well deserved vacation with her sister and niece (both live in Germany) in Italy, and I made sure she got there in style by getting her an F award ticket on Lufty.

It’s funny, I remember my mom telling me three years ago “I don’t care whether I fly coach or first, it makes no difference.” In my effort to convert her to the enlightened side I’ve gotten her a first class award on AF, two first class awards on LH, and a business class award on NZ. After her outbound journey on LH from CLT to MUC I asked her how she enjoyed the flight, and she said it was amazing. She said she spoke to the very nice purser for almost the whole flight, and that the flight could have been ten hours longer for all she cared, something I never expected my mom to say. Not only did she take back her statement from a few years ago, but she said that she now actually enjoys and looks forward to the flying portion of travel as well. This is something I’m happy to hear since it validates all my efforts over the years. While I would never pay full fare for either business or first out of pocket, it’s an amazing deal on award tickets, in my opinion.

Anyway, with that tangent out of the way, let me get back on topic. So my mom was due into Orlando at 6:25PM originally, but her flight was way delayed to 7:12PM. I left very early, and after about nineteen accidents on I-4, I made it to the Hampton Inn in about 2.5 hours (should have been closer to 1.5 hours). I checked in and about 30 minutes later headed to the airport, about 30 minutes before her flight was scheduled to arrive. To be honest, I really wanted to see how MCO was on a Saturday afternoon and do some people watching, since I know MCO can be an interesting place, and as I saw it certainly didn’t disappoint.

After parking my car I went to the LH desk to ask the agents (in German) where I would be best off waiting for the arriving passengers from the FRA flight. In a stereotypically German way (hey, I can say this, I’m German!), I was arrogantly told I should wait in the arrivals area. Well, no $hit Sherlock, could ya tell me where that is please? As a German I find the “German way” to be one of precision and efficiency, and that comes in two ways, in my experience– those that are so efficient and precise that they basically blow people off (this can translate to bad service both in the air and on the ground), and then there are those that are efficient and precise, yet understand the importance of still providing “proper” service, which is fortunately what I generally find the LH in-flight crews to be. Very rarely have I had what we would call “lazy” crews on LH, which is the nice thing about them. The MCO ground staff certainly fell under the former description.

I found my way to the arrivals area, which is basically the center of the concourse. For those not familiar with MCO, the pre-security area is in the middle of a Hyatt hotel with a massive atrium. It’s actually really nifty for an airplane dork like me, since I love hotels and I love airports, and here I have some of my favorite things in one place.

One of the reasons I love airports is because of the “melting pots” they can be. You see all kinds of people from all walks of life, and today was no exception, although it was definitely an interesting crowd.

The first person that caught my eye was the TSA guy sitting at a desk in the “do not enter” area. This is right next to the security checkpoint where people are getting off flights, and his exciting job consists of sitting there and making sure no fish tries to swim upstream. This guy cracked me up. His attitude, based on his facial expressions and body motions, were that of the “I’m America’s last defense against terrorism” TSA mentality. He sat there as if he had the most important job in the world, and I actually found it somewhat comical. He had his feet up on the desk, chair tilted backwards, and looked at everyone as if they were planning another 9/11. I actually had a little bit of fun with him while still staying within the rules, and kept inching closer and closer to the “do not cross” line, without ever actually getting close to it. I stood a few feet away, walked in circles, and then got a few inches closer. This guy looked like he was about ready to tell me to stop moving, and I was totally expecting a SPOT to come and “interview” me.

Anyway, let’s talk about the people at MCO. MCO is a cesspool, one that combines the good, the bad, and the really ugly. Taking care of the “really ugly” sector for us were all of these mothers that had their 4-8 year old kids that they just couldn’t take care of, and seemed like they would rather be dead than fulfill their kid’s dream vacation. One kid was saying to his mom “Mommy, I can’t carry this, it’s too heavy.” He was carrying a booster seat of sorts which looked pretty light. His mom responds “Oh stop bitching, it weighs an ounce.” Jeez, this kid was probably five years old, way to go mom!

Then you have those mothers that clearly care about their kids, even if it comes at the expense of making complete fools of themselves. Don’t get me wrong, a mom shouldn’t give a crap what others think of her and her kid as long as they’re acting in a respectful manner, but there was one instance in particular that cracked me up. There was a mom walking with her son, maybe seven or eight years old. He had a bright orange “NASA” costume on, and as if that wasn’t enough, he had a headset on, which looked more like one of those wired earpieces that agents in call centers wear. He walked through the terminal as if he was some sort of space commander, and I actually found it really damn funny (and cool) how confident he was. Made me wonder if he was wearing it just because of the shuttle launch today, or if he does that everyday. Hmm, wasn’t there a movie on United recently about a similar subject?

I could go on and on about the people at MCO, it’s just such an interesting place, for better or for worse. If you want some great people watching I suggest going there on a Saturday afternoon in summer, and I’m sure you’ll chuckle and shake your head at least a few times.

Eventually my mom arrived, and to my surprise already had her checked bag with her. Hmmm, isn’t that a “security risk?” Apparently they allow you to take your checked bags with you directly from immigration, even though it’s still airside. That means she had access to everything in her checked bag (even those awfull dangerous greater than 3oz. liquids!) while airside. Interesting….

Please don’t take anything in this post too seriously, it’s just a reflection of a small part of my day which entertained me…

Per The Flying Critic, yet another one of the all business class transatlantic airlines, Silverjet, has ceased operations. I’ve predicted all three would fail since day one (especially Maxjet), and the main reason I thought so was because they never formed any real alliances with other carriers.

While I’ve heard excellent reviews of EOS and Silverjet, and even good reviews of Maxjet on a value basis, it’s simply a difficult industry and even without fuel prices where they are I would never have expected to see them thrive.

We all have our views on what people look for in an airline, but I’m convinced there are three main things that business travelers look for in their airline of choice– schedule, price, and frequent flyer programs. That’s right, I think that the actual product offered is a distant fourth. Why would I mutter such heresy in an industry where everyone is competing to have the biggest wine glasses and the fanciest seats? Well, quite frankly, if you are in a position to pay full C/F through work, chances are your time is more valuable than most of the frills that a carrier can give you.

Furthermore, I think one of the essential elements in choosing an airline is their frequent flyer program, something which most of these transatlantic all business class airlines were lacking. I think most business travelers would much rather accrue miles towards a free vacation with their family to somewhere exotic over slowly earning credits towards another ticket on an airline that has just one or two routes. I know many people that travel for work between NYC and LON frequently in full fare C/F, and that’s the sentiment I’ve heard over and over.

As far as I’m concerned none of these carriers could compete in terms of schedules (they only offered a few flights a day) and frequent flyer programs (not much excitement for most business travelers when the best you can redeem your miles for is the route you usually already fly).

If they could have somehow created an alliance I could see them being successful, but most business travelers don’t fly just a single route, yet want to stick with a single frequent flyer program to accrue points.

While I can see all three airlines “working” for certain people, that apparently wasn’t enough of a niche to be successful, especially with today’s conditions.

Speaking of low cost all business class airlines, how the heck is L’avion still in business? They only fly between NYC and CDG, have low prices, and have an average product at best based on what I can see. I don’t know, maybe they struck just the right part of the market, those budget conscious “premium” travelers that travel frequently between NY and Paris. I’m surprised they’re still alive, although I don’t know enough about them to truly pass judgment.

I figured I’d make a consolidated post with some of the stories/news I’ve seen in the industry this week. 

• Many airlines are raising the price for liquor/food onboard. AirTran is raising the price of alcoholic beverages by a dollar to $6. Starting June 1, United is raising the price of their “fresh food” items to $7, up from $5. The snackboxes are still $5, which is a pretty good deal. Even at $7, it’s not a bad deal since the selection is pretty good, in my opinion. American raised their prices from $5 to $6 for both alcohol and fresh food. Ultimately I can see the need for all of them to raise their prices, although I’m not sure how smart of a move it is. I guess we’ll see, but it seems like $5 would be perceived as reasonable, while some may consider $6 too expensive for a drink. I guess it all comes down to elasticity of booze and food on planes.
• JetBlue announced they would defer the delivery of 21 A320 aircraft, a move which makes complete sense given the state of the industry.
• According to a thread by a reputable FlyerTalker, UA will be reducing the frequency of LAX-HKG to four times a week over the summer, and will be discontinuing the service on September 2. There are also rumors of large scale layoffs as well as more capacity reduction, so we’ll stay tuned for that.
• Northwest has matched United’s offer to give anyone that contributes at least $50 to the China Earthquake Relief fund 500 miles.
• Delta’s FA’s have once again voted down a union by a sizeable margin. This shows that they must have quite a bit of faith to not be unionized in such tough times, so kudos to the company as a whole.
• Speaking of Delta, a complete nut (or maybe I shouldn’t even say that if I don’t want to be sued for several million dollars) is suing Delta for $1 million for some flight delays and poor customer service. I think the article speaks for itself, but this is just crazy. Even forgetting about the million dollars, how do you spend $21,000 for a hotel, rental car, clothes and flights? Sounds pretty nutty to me…

Hey Guys,

I’ve been working on a certain well known OneWorld award while it’s still available, and I spent probably close to 12 hours between the BA and QF award availability tools. This has been taking up way too much of my time, so sadly it has come at the expense of blogging, at least for the past few days. Trust me though, if everything works out it’ll be worth the wait. I don’t want to say anything until I have it confirmed, but of course you’re free to guess what kind of an award it is. Let’s just say it involves a lot of continents, a lot of countries, a lot of flying, and a lot of F.

Pop superstar Madonna was reportedly furious after a camera crew sneaked into her hotel room during her stay in Cannes, France.
……..
According to French newspaper Le Parisien, Madonna was so angry with the hotel staff, she refused to pay the $90,000 bill.

(source)

It’s kind of ridiculous that camera crews somehow snuck into her room, and you can even see the TV footage it got in France:

$90,000 bill though? Damn! This is of course peak time in Cannes and she got a very nice room, but that’s a lot! It does raise the question though– anyone want to bribe the maid to tape my room while I’m not in it and get me the night comped?:)

Can you explain how the “clearing” process works for upgrades? I know after I book a flight I have the option of requesting an upgrade. Is this the same as asking the day of the flight if there are any upgrades? I assume in both cases, they cost miles?

A reader emailed me this question, and I feel kind of bad for not having addressed this question in the past, since it’s a pretty important one. Let me do my best to tackle United’s upgrade system head on, in hopes that it can help someone out.

First let’s talk a little bit about the different types of upgrades United offers, because unlike other carriers, United doesn’t offer “complimentary upgrades,” but rather makes you support your upgrade with an upgrade “instrument,” even if there are open first class seats.

Premier, Premier Executive, and 1K members earn 500 mile upgrades. They earn four of these for every 10,000 miles (including the 500 mile minimum, although that won’t be the case anymore starting July 1) they fly on United, Ted, and United Express. 500 milers can also be purchased in packs of four for $200 for elite members and $325 for general members. The upgrade “counter” resets on January 1, so if you end the year with 9,999 miles towards 500 milers, you’re out of luck, as you’ll have to fly another 10,000 in the following year to earn any upgrade instruments. 500 milers clear at the upgrade windows of the respective elite levels. For Global Services it’s 120 hours before the flight, for 1K’s it’s 100 hours, for Premier Executives it’s 72 hours, for Premiers it’s 48 hours, for Premier Associates it’s 36 hours, and for general members it’s 24 hours before the flight.

The other type of upgrade instruments which 1K’s can earn are confirmed regional upgrades (CR1’s) and systemwide upgrades (SWU’s). 1K’s earn two confirmed regional upgrades for every quarter in which they fly 10,000 miles on United, Ted, and United Express, with a maximum of two per quarter. That means 1K’s can earn eight of these upgrades per year. The nice thing about these is that they can, as the name suggests, be used to confirm an upgrade at the time of booking. Upgrade inventory must be available, but if it is there’s no waiting, which is great. They can be used for any published fare within region one, which includes the US (including Alaska and Hawaii), Canada, Mexico, and the Caribbean, for one direction of travel.

1K’s also earn six systemwide upgrades a year just for earning 1K. They are technically deposited on January 1, but in past years United has allowed the early deposit of four of them in November. They can upgrade one direction of travel to and from anywhere in the world on United, with the major restriction being that you must book W class or higher, which is often not the cheapest but usually isn’t too much more expensive. 1K’s can also earn two more systemwide upgrades for every 50,000 EQM’s they earn over 100,000EQM’s, so if you fly 150,000 EQM’s you earn a total of eight (six for making 1K and two for flying 50,000EQM’s extra) SWU’s.

Next, miles can be used to upgrade itineraries, and they are also confirmable upgrade instruments so if there’s upgrade inventory available they can be used to confirm the upgrade at the time of booking. Lastly, United sometimes offers upgrades for cash at the time of check-in, which can range anywhere from $50 to $600+ for a longhaul international flight.

Now let’s get to the fun part, the actual upgrade process. There are two types of upgrade waitlists, the PA & PB list. The PA list is the Priority A list, which is the first one cleared, followed by the PB, or Priority B list, which is the second one cleared. When a 1K uses his/her upgrade instruments they are put on the PA waitlist, including when they give their SWU’s/CR1′s to others, meaning even a general member with a 1K’s SWU goes on the PA list.

s stated earlier, confirmable upgrade instruments, such as CR1′s, SWU’s, and miles can clear at any time. This means that if I apply for an upgrade today from coach to first on a two class flight (upgraded F is NF), and NF is available, I can immediately be confirmed into First Class. The same is true for an upgrade to Business (NC).

As soon as there is no more confirmable upgrade space you get “waitlisted.” Like I said above, those with the right credentials get added to the PA waitlist, and others to the PB waitlist. The PA waitlist is sorted on a first-on first-off basis, meaning that the first person on the PA list will be the first person to get the upgrade. The PA list is totally cleared before the PB list is touched. That means that if upgrade space becomes available tomorrow and I add myself with a CR1 as a 1K today, I would trump a 1P that has been on the PB list for 10 months. Of course this is technically how it works, and sometimes there may be some mistakes.

The list continues as such, except for 500 mile upgrades, which can only clear within the windows stated above. It’s very possible that your upgrade won’t clear at your window, even if the seats are available, mainly because United is hoping to either sell those seats or save them for the airport and possibly a last minute full fare coach passenger that wants to upgrade.

This whole process changes as soon as the flight is under “departure management,” or DM. This is usually four hours before the flight. Under DM upgrades are cleared first by status, then by fare basis, and lastly by the time added to the DM list.

That’s a pretty basic explanation of the workings of inventory management as I understand it. If anyone has anything to add, feel free to chime in, and otherwise if anyone else has a question on the subject, feel free to ask and I’ll do my best to answer.