Can you explain how the “clearing” process works for upgrades? I know after I book a flight I have the option of requesting an upgrade. Is this the same as asking the day of the flight if there are any upgrades? I assume in both cases, they cost miles?

A reader emailed me this question, and I feel kind of bad for not having addressed this question in the past, since it’s a pretty important one. Let me do my best to tackle United’s upgrade system head on, in hopes that it can help someone out.

First let’s talk a little bit about the different types of upgrades United offers, because unlike other carriers, United doesn’t offer “complimentary upgrades,” but rather makes you support your upgrade with an upgrade “instrument,” even if there are open first class seats.

Premier, Premier Executive, and 1K members earn 500 mile upgrades. They earn four of these for every 10,000 miles (including the 500 mile minimum, although that won’t be the case anymore starting July 1) they fly on United, Ted, and United Express. 500 milers can also be purchased in packs of four for $200 for elite members and $325 for general members. The upgrade “counter” resets on January 1, so if you end the year with 9,999 miles towards 500 milers, you’re out of luck, as you’ll have to fly another 10,000 in the following year to earn any upgrade instruments. 500 milers clear at the upgrade windows of the respective elite levels. For Global Services it’s 120 hours before the flight, for 1K’s it’s 100 hours, for Premier Executives it’s 72 hours, for Premiers it’s 48 hours, for Premier Associates it’s 36 hours, and for general members it’s 24 hours before the flight.

The other type of upgrade instruments which 1K’s can earn are confirmed regional upgrades (CR1’s) and systemwide upgrades (SWU’s). 1K’s earn two confirmed regional upgrades for every quarter in which they fly 10,000 miles on United, Ted, and United Express, with a maximum of two per quarter. That means 1K’s can earn eight of these upgrades per year. The nice thing about these is that they can, as the name suggests, be used to confirm an upgrade at the time of booking. Upgrade inventory must be available, but if it is there’s no waiting, which is great. They can be used for any published fare within region one, which includes the US (including Alaska and Hawaii), Canada, Mexico, and the Caribbean, for one direction of travel.

1K’s also earn six systemwide upgrades a year just for earning 1K. They are technically deposited on January 1, but in past years United has allowed the early deposit of four of them in November. They can upgrade one direction of travel to and from anywhere in the world on United, with the major restriction being that you must book W class or higher, which is often not the cheapest but usually isn’t too much more expensive. 1K’s can also earn two more systemwide upgrades for every 50,000 EQM’s they earn over 100,000EQM’s, so if you fly 150,000 EQM’s you earn a total of eight (six for making 1K and two for flying 50,000EQM’s extra) SWU’s.

Next, miles can be used to upgrade itineraries, and they are also confirmable upgrade instruments so if there’s upgrade inventory available they can be used to confirm the upgrade at the time of booking. Lastly, United sometimes offers upgrades for cash at the time of check-in, which can range anywhere from $50 to $600+ for a longhaul international flight.

Now let’s get to the fun part, the actual upgrade process. There are two types of upgrade waitlists, the PA & PB list. The PA list is the Priority A list, which is the first one cleared, followed by the PB, or Priority B list, which is the second one cleared. When a 1K uses his/her upgrade instruments they are put on the PA waitlist, including when they give their SWU’s/CR1′s to others, meaning even a general member with a 1K’s SWU goes on the PA list.

s stated earlier, confirmable upgrade instruments, such as CR1′s, SWU’s, and miles can clear at any time. This means that if I apply for an upgrade today from coach to first on a two class flight (upgraded F is NF), and NF is available, I can immediately be confirmed into First Class. The same is true for an upgrade to Business (NC).

As soon as there is no more confirmable upgrade space you get “waitlisted.” Like I said above, those with the right credentials get added to the PA waitlist, and others to the PB waitlist. The PA waitlist is sorted on a first-on first-off basis, meaning that the first person on the PA list will be the first person to get the upgrade. The PA list is totally cleared before the PB list is touched. That means that if upgrade space becomes available tomorrow and I add myself with a CR1 as a 1K today, I would trump a 1P that has been on the PB list for 10 months. Of course this is technically how it works, and sometimes there may be some mistakes.

The list continues as such, except for 500 mile upgrades, which can only clear within the windows stated above. It’s very possible that your upgrade won’t clear at your window, even if the seats are available, mainly because United is hoping to either sell those seats or save them for the airport and possibly a last minute full fare coach passenger that wants to upgrade.

This whole process changes as soon as the flight is under “departure management,” or DM. This is usually four hours before the flight. Under DM upgrades are cleared first by status, then by fare basis, and lastly by the time added to the DM list.

That’s a pretty basic explanation of the workings of inventory management as I understand it. If anyone has anything to add, feel free to chime in, and otherwise if anyone else has a question on the subject, feel free to ask and I’ll do my best to answer.

Back when I was in a booking frenzy a bit over a month ago, I wanted to be sure I booked something for Memorial Day weekend, since it’s usually a bump fest. While it’s not my favorite routing, I managed to book TPA-IAD-SFO-LAX-SAN for Saturday, then get on the SAN-ORD redeye, followed by ORD-SYR-IAD-TPA on Sunday morning.

I just checked the loads for each of my flights, and none of them are even close to full!

What does this mean? Well, I guess I could theorize that less people are traveling for the weekend this year compared to past years, but I’m not totally convinced of that. While it might be a small factor, I will just leave it to pure luck (or lack thereof), and hope for irregular operations. I’ve gotten about five bumps or so in the past couple of years, and only one of them has been when the flight looked full the day before. The others were all due to irregular operations and the subsequent rebookings.

Something I’m excited about this weekend is ORD on Sunday morning at 4:30AM. For flying dorks, it’s the holiest of all experiences. Seeing one of the ORD concourses from one side to the other with hardly anyone there, so quiet that you could drop a pin and everyone would hear it, is simply great compared to the usual hustle and bustle, never-ending noise, and downright yuckiness of ORD. Since I usually take redeyes to IAD, I’ll be getting less sleep than normal this weekend, but I’ll get to experience my single favorite airport situation, despite my zombie-like state at that point in my journey.

Of course I’m not the only one taking the opportunity to mileage run this weekend, and will be meeting up with tons of FlyerTalkers in airport lounges around the country. 

Stay tuned.:)

For details please see here.

Correct Answer: Hong Kong
Winner: Monty Jamieson

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four

We got to HNL around 8:30PM, and the airport was a zoo. Check-in areas were packed, but the F line wasn’t too long. We proceeded up there and got our boarding passes. The agent was pretty busy so I decided to ask at the RCC about reroute options ex-SFO and had the agent just check me in for the HNL-SFO segment.

One interesting thing to note is that the UA agents in HNL (and I assume the rest of Hawaii) wear different uniforms consisting of shorts and gasp, Hawaiian shirts.

We headed towards the “Gold” security line, which seems to be for elites of all airlines. Getting there was an obstacle course, as all of the airline counters were packed, and no one seemed to have a clue where they were going.

The TSA agents were surprisingly friendly, so there was no need to pull out “the sticker.” We were airside within a few minutes and began the long march to the RCC, which probably took so long since we walked just about every direction except the right way.

When we got to the RCC we had the same agents as the night before, so they weren’t quite as shocked this time around since we had warned them we’d be back. The same agent that seemed friendly the night before tried to help me with my itinerary and finding alternate routings. I was booked HNL-SFO-ORD-IAD-TPA originally, so wanted to get something similar.

As it turns out, she was probably the most incoherent agent I’ve dealt with at United. Never have I seen an agent with such poor computer skills. Heck, she was doing it all on one screen instead of tabbing and opening up multiple browsers, something which seems pretty rare and old fashioned (and dumb). At one point she got snippy and said “You don’t even know what you want, you’re telling me different things.” I don’t think she understood that I wanted a combination of the best routing and upgrade availability, as opposed to just one metric. She looked at the world in black and white, when most of the world is gray.

This lady hadn’t even heard of Ted, when I was trying to explain that DEN-TPA didn’t interest me!!! I could go on all day about this clueless agent, but I’ll spare you. In the end I got confirmed on SFO-ORD with a good chance at an upgrade to F, according to her, plus ORD-TPA on Ted. I would just request the original routing credit.

We hung out in the RCC, freshened up a bit, and once again set up crew gift bags. We also got the “safety demo” gear, which included styrofoam cups and stirrers.

We headed to the gate right as the RCC closed at 10:30PM, five minutes before boarding. One FlyerTalker was on the upgrade list and thought she had no chance in heck of clearing, but at the last minute she got it, so we all cheered as she approached the podium, waking up the 300 other tired vacationers. Once again we got the weirdest looks from our fellow passengers, which I came to actually find entertaining.

UA0078, HNL-SFO, 05/17, 2325-0719

We were among the first to board, and unlike the playful, joking crew on the outbound, this crew seemed far more serious, although nice.

The first thing many of us noticed was the purser– WOW! This guy seriously must have been pushing 90, and for a second I thought he was the successor to Iris Peterson.

A few of us approached the purser in the front galley, who was talking to the captain, and gave them our gift bags. We explained what we were doing, why we had gifts, etc., and he was very thankful. We then gave the captain gift bags for him and the first officer. He also seemed very nice, and we talked for a few minutes. He found the idea of us traveling to Hawaii for a day interesting to say the least, and eventually we bid farewell to him since he had work to do.

I had forgotten to ask about Channel 9, so went back up to ask him as he was back in the galley. I explained how many of us are aviation enthusiasts and really enjoy listening Channel 9, and nicely asked if it would be on. He responded, “Sorry, I can’t turn it on,” and then there was a long pause. I thanked him anyway for the safe ride and walked away, and right as I was leaving the galley he said “wait,” almost like a soap opera where someone dumps someone and then regrets it (in this case us Channel 9′ers).

I walked back to him and he sticks out his hand and says “By the way, my name is Charlie.” I introduced myself as well, and he said “Ben, the reason I can’t turn on Channel 9 is because there are too many knuckleheads out there that either post it on YouTube or cause problems with communications they misinterpret. I know my wife and son love listening to it as well when they fly, but it’s just not an option I have anymore.” He went on to explain his reasoning for several minutes, and I thanked him for the explanation. I respect that he at least tried to offer an explanation rather than saying “it’s captain’s authority,” so I guess it’s fair enough, although I find any reason for not turning on Channel 9 to be utter BS.

When I got back to the cabin I suggested we call the safety demo off, since I didn’t think the purser could handle it either without a heart attack from laughing or without kicking us off the flight, since he was more serious.

Pre-departure beverages were served, and I took some guava juice, which was awesome. The safety demo was played and we pushed back. I was seriously in disbelief about how the purser, named Boise, could possibly be able to assist in the case of an emergency, especially based his announcements. Seriously, never have I heard announcements as slow as this guy’s, or with as little pep. Little did I know how good he was at his job.

We taxied out to the far runway (I believe referred to as the “reef runways”) and rocketed off in a matter of minutes. The seatbelt sign came off soon enough, and in-flight service began. This crew was absolutely phenomenal.

Boise, the purser, came around offering drinks. He had memorized the name of every passenger in the F cabin, and that’s over 30 people! As he took drink orders he individually thanked everyone, and said something like “I see you’re at our 1K level, and I’d really like to say that we appreciate all those miles you fly with us every year and all the business you give us.” He did this more than once during the flight, and it was extremely impressive.

His attention to detail was amazing. He had an exact way he would lay down the napkins under drinks, and when there wasn’t a napkin under a drink he would say “Hold on, let me just put a coaster under there, we can’t have drinks without coasters.”

This man was damn impressive, an example of someone that really enjoys their job, and despite age, does an amazing job at it. The service began with nuts and was followed by a snack, with the choice being between a Thai chicken dish with sauce and some sort of pasta and a cheese plate. I wasn’t too hungry so chose the cheese plate.

The rest of the crew was also excellent, and I’m pretty sure every crewmember came by to say thanks for the gifts, also inquiring about what the heck FlyerTalk.com is.  Most of us slept through most of the flight, and before we knew it we were on approach into SFO for runway 28L, on a parallel approach with a 737.

Here’s a video of the landing, including the announcements by Boise. I swear he sounded more energetic at the end of the flight.

On the way out Boise thanked almost everyone by name, which was once again extremely impressive.

Despite it still being pretty early on a Sunday morning, SFO was a ZOO. I could tell I’d have a hell of a time getting a better option for heading back East. Most of us headed to the RCC for a bit, but after half an hour or so most of us parted ways to get back to where we came from. I still had another couple of hours until my connection, so walked around the terminal a bit and eventually made it back to the RCC.

I wanted to see my upgrade status so decided to ask the agent in the RCC. As many of you may know, one of the benefits of an RCC membership is supposed to be enhanced customer service thanks to the dedicated agents. There was one agent working in the RCC during this very busy weekend, and here’s what the line looked like:

Now in all fairness the line outside was much worse, but come on, they need to do better than this. I complained to the lady at the front in a nice way and she called another agent to come to the club. I should have pushed it to a supervisor, but decided against it in the end since I knew everyone was having a crazy weekend. The agent was bitching about the TSA so I showed her “the sticker,” and she said it made her day.

At around 10AM I headed to the gate, fully expecting to get the upgrade since there were four seats left and I was number one on the list according to the RCC agent.

As usual, it was a different story when I got to the gate, since the first announcement I heard was “First Class has checked in full.” Well, at least I was able to get an aisle seat in Economy Plus instead of the middle I was originally put into by the agent in HNL.

UA0906, SFO-ORD, 05/18, 1044-1655 

This was an interesting crew, to say the least. I had been spoiled with the excellent service of the HNL based crews, so to get back to a sub-par crew was tough. There were either five or six FA’s on the flight, not the four that we’re supposed to have on midcons nowadays.

The purser seemed fine (although from my coach seat I wouldn’t know too much, other than that his announcements were fine), and the other F FA seemed good too. It was pretty funny, the other F FA must have been the youngest looking FA I’ve ever seen. I wouldn’t put him a day over 20, which I believe is the minimum age. He looked like some celebrity, and towards the end of the flight I realized he resembled Zac Efron to a large extent. He really seemed to do a good job, at least based on his facial expressions as he served the passengers and the frequency with which he walked through the cabin. From my view it sure seemed like quite a few of the older guys in F were either hitting on him or schmoozing with him to an extreme, since I saw quite a bit of arm grabbing. I guess that’s acceptable on a flight from SF?

Sadly the crew in coach wasn’t nearly as interesting. The FA’s were, erm, efficient. Everything was done quickly so they could go back into the galley without any wasted time. When I went to the rear galley to use the restroom I noticed that the galley seemed to be a film studio, with one of the male FA’s imitating the Viagra commercial, or maybe it was Cialis, I don’t know. I heard phrases such as “Bob has a big new swing of confidence” and “for men with ED…” You would think they’d stop for a second when a passenger is back there, but nope, they kept on yapping. Extremely unprofessional, but I was hardly surprised.

Fortunately the flight was over before I knew it, and I even managed to get some work done!

Upon arrival at ORD I headed straight to the B concourse RCC, which was a total zoo, much like SFO. The RCC agents didn’t so much as say hi to me, as they were too busy talking about who they have crushes on (or in the case of one of them, who has a crush on her). Compared to the excellent RCC agents I’ve become used to, it was quite disappointing.

I asked the agent at the service desk when the new “incomparable” RCC opens, and he said around June 10, so I’m hoping it’s true. They’re really holding out till the end of Spring, the announced opening season.

A few minutes before boarding I proceeded to my gate, which was B21, right in the heart of Ted territory. Boarding began just a few minutes late, at which point they boarded seating area one. There was what appeared to be a high school soccer team aboard that was clogging up the gate area, so it was hard to make it to the front of the line.

UA1448, ORD-TPA, 05/18, 2140-2318

After about ten passengers boarded the GA announced that the captain has suspended boarding and that we were to wait until further notice. After about five minutes boarding resumed. I took my seat, 10D, and took a mini-nap. Eventually my seat opponent, in this case a lady that really needed two seats, took the middle. She was very nice (and talkative, as you’ll find out), but took up at least 1/4 of my seat as well. Her arm was in my stomach for most of the flight.

As soon as she sat down she started talking… and talking… and talking… and talking. You get the point. Usually I’m happy to “entertain” seat mates that want to tell me about Uncle BobbyLee in Tennessee, but I was tired after taking a redeye, getting little sleep the night before, and already being late into this day. Most of my reaction to her talking was just “Ah, ok” or “Gacha,” but she didn’t get the point, I guess.

After just a few minutes of being aboard the captain announced we had a mechanical problem and that it might take a few minutes to fix.

Another ten minutes later (aka 10 more minutes of listening to this lady), the captain announced we’d have to get on a different plane, saying that we shouldn’t have boarded to begin with. Loud moans filled the cabin, and we all trekked over to the mid-B gates. For a split second I was hoping there were no Ted planes left and we’d get mainline, but no such luck.

Another 20 minutes later, now a little over an hour late, we re-boarded. As I got aboard the purser said “Ah, I see you’re part of the vocal minority,” based on my wristband which I was sporing. After having noticed during the first boarding process that his name is Glen (as opposed to Glenn, the first name of United’s CEO), I responded “Ah, I see you’re missing the $40 million ‘n’.” He chuckled, and for once I felt like I had a good comeback.;)

As we reboarded I was still stuck (quite literally) next to the same lady, and she continued telling me the same stories about her family, from her straight “A” daughter, to her troubled adopted Russian children, to her other daughter who’s not so smart. Some of the stuff people tell complete strangers after just a few minutes amazes me. The funniest thing (and I really had a hard time not laughing out loud when she said this) was “Yeah, my 16 year old daughter’s grades have been going down for the past two years and it’s because of her stupid boyfriend. All he wants to do is have sex with her and she keeps pushing him away because she’s a good Christian and wouldn’t do that.” I’m usually pretty good at responding to random information that’s of no consequence to me, but I was at a loss of words on that one,

Eventually we took off and as we reached cruising altitude the captain made an announcement saying the mechanical was due to a light going off in the cockpit during landing on the last flight, and also that Channel 9 was available. Drink service began shortly thereafter. Glen took my drink order, and since I was in a really strange mood (tired but at the same time wanting to joke around), I pulled my Ted bear (yes, Ted bear, not teddy bear) out of my bag and had him order the drink for me. In true Ted fashion I put him in front of my mouth and said “Ted wants you to give me two cups of water.” The guy laughed his rear off, and promptly delivered.

After drink service I went up to use the restroom, and on the way out stopped by for a second to chat with Glen. This guy was hilarious, and we talked for nearly an hour. Let’s just say there was a passenger that was sitting behind me that was causing some trouble, and they were reporting him. Apparently he was very aggressive regarding the soccer players and delays, and just by looking at him I could see what an unhappy person he was.

Glen was on the “phone” with the pilots while I was up there, and I interrupted him to say “Please sincerely thank the pilots for turning on Channel 9.” He said to the Captain “You know that kid 1K I was telling you about earlier? Well, he wants to thank you for turning on Channel 9,” all of which he said with a smirk. Before landing I got a full set of trading cards from the Captain, all of which I already had, thanks to Captain Flanagan, but Glen didn’t need to know that.

This guy was awesome, and for once my Ted flight was over too soon. I hope I’ll run into Glen again sometime soon, cause he rocks, has a great sense of humor, and does a great job.

I got home at around 2AM, and slept only minutes later.

Conclusion:

I had an amazing trip, not much left to be said. 90% of the UA employees I dealt with were exceptional, and there are no better travel buddies than FlyerTalkers. Flying and seeing a destination can’t be beat, even if for only a day.

You can bet we’ll be doing another one of these group trips sometime soon.

That’s all I got, thanks for reading!

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four

Eventually our rides showed up and we left to get outside. As I mentioned earlier this was my first time in HNL, and it’s a very interesting airport to say the least. First you can walk outside while still being airside, immediately next to the tarmac. You could easily throw something onto the tarmac or even jump, although it would be a bit of a fall.

On the way out I felt as if I were walking through a subway station in Seoul, South Korea. There were stores everywhere, even places to eat, but at the same time not in the typical fashion, and they were all outside yet sort of inside.

After a 10 minute walk in miserable humidity we made it outside and met up with our rides. We drove to Sam Choy’s, which was maybe 15 minutes away, where we had dinner. At this point I was totally drained, being up for 23 hours and counting, especially since I didn’t get a lot of sleep the night before.

The restaurant was very nice, and not surprisingly, pricey. I had a chicken caesar salad which was $17+tax/trip, basically the cheapest thing on the menu. By around 10:30PM we left Sam Choy’s and headed to our hotels, in my case the Doubletree Alana Hotel Waikiki. The lobby was somewhat non-existent, probably the size of two rooms. Check-in was quick and breakfast vouchers were handed over without asking. We (I was rooming with my friend Zach) headed upstairs to our room, only to find it totally trashed. There was no luggage in the room, but it wasn’t made at all– the covers were undone, there were glasses all over, etc. I’ve walked into someone else’s room before, but never into a room without anyone in it that was trashed, so it was a first for me.

We went back downstairs and the agent hardly offered so much as an apology. We got put in an “oceanview room,” (after requesting it) which kind of lacked a view as you’ll see in the pictures below. The room was fine considering the cost. It was somewhat tired, but the beds were comfortable, and since we would only be there for seven hours it wasn’t bad at all. We set up a wakeup call for 6AM since we were going to have breakfast at 7AM, with our tour of Honolulu beginning at 8AM. 

The best feeling, in my opinion, is being in a new city in a freshly made bed, tired as hell. I swear I was asleep by 11PM, a good 30 seconds after untucking the covers. I woke up with the sound of the alarm at 6AM, opened the curtains to see outside, and was happy to wake up somewhere else.

Here are some pictures of the “view” from the room:

When I hopped in the shower I was surprised to see how small it was, and spent a good minute in my tired state trying to figure out where the other half was. It’s not that there was no room, it’s just that it was literally half the size of a normal bathtub/shower, which confused me. I guess it’s a new cost saving measure?

By 7AM we were downstairs in the breakfast area and met up with a handful of other FlyerTalkers. Being Hilton Gold we got breakfast vouchers, but of course it was for the continental breakfast only. As usual you can “buy up” to the normal buffet for $5,a  pretty good deal. It was funny because the ”continental breakfast” was about as continental as the breakfast choices in a Red Carpet Club, but we refused to buy-up and made the best of the fresh fruit and pastries. I have to say the guava juice was very good, a nice welcome to the islands.

At around 7:45AM we headed to the room to get our stuff and check-out, and stored our bags in the hotel closet. It was a relief to be able to check bags without paying $25 for the second bag.;)

Our “tour guide,” Greg, met us downstairs. One of the things I love about FlyerTalk is that there are people from all walks of life and from virtually every part of the globe, so no matter where you go there’ll be a local. I’ve met and been led by dozens of FlyerTalkers in their hometowns, and have done the same when they visit mine. It’s one of the things that makes FlyerTalk great. Rather than taking a tour which shows us all of the tourist traps and charges you $100, it allows one to get a real insider’s view of the area.

Anyway, Greg was waiting for us downstairs and rushed us off to the Arizona Memorial before the lines got too bad. We got there at around 8:30AM, and after going through “security” (heh) got tickets for the 9:25AM tour. I was shocked to find out that the whole tour was free (well, if you don’t count our tax dollars).

Since we had some extra time we walked around outside where they had plenty of exhibits, including lots of war gear which some FlyerTalkers found interesting.

The experience started with a 20 minute movie. While I enjoy history, I usually find these “movies” at exhibits to be hideously boring, and was fully expecting this one to be as well. I was pleasantly surprised by how well done this movie was, and for once wasn’t looking at my watch once. Heck, I think I almost shed a tear (hey, I said almost!). It started with a short “live” presentation by a veteran, followed by real footage of the attack along with commentary.

After that we headed to the boat, which took us over to the Arizona Memorial. I have seen the Arizona Memorial in pictures dozens of times, so it was great to finally visit it.

Here are some pictures I took:

The markers you mark different parts of the ship. In the center of the memorial is a view down where you can see a part of the ship which is basically right at the surface. I was surprised to even see oil in the water, supposedly from the ship (or whatever’s left of it). After about 15 minutes the boat took us back to the starting point.

The whole tour lasted 75 minutes, and was extremely well done. After that we toured the island, making many stops at scenic points along the way.

It was also around this time that all seven of us got EasyUpdates saying our flight was two hours late due to crew. Despite many of us having connections we decided not to let it spoil our good time and basically ignored it. From the way we saw it, we had two more hours in paradise!

I especially liked the lookout pictured below. It had great views, exactly how I pictured Hawaii before going there, a pleasant breeze, and even had paragliders that were buzzing us.

Apparently this is supposed to look like the head of a rabbit. I guess I can kind of see that…

We then headed to another lookout, where the winds were very strong. Another local FlyerTalker met up with us there, and showed us where his house was from the lookout. We stopped for lunch at a local restaurant as well, which had reasonable prices and an “authentic” lunch.

That explains why the part was so dirty…;)

We then went to a cemetery, which was huge.

I saw a lady take a picture of a flower in the cemetery which kind of made me chuckle, since it seems like an odd place to do flower photography. Well, when she moved away from that flower I decided to try my luck, and the picture turned out pretty nice. While I’m not an instant flower enthusiast, I thought it was another part of Hawaii that had to be captured on camera, so might as well follow the flower enthusiast on that one.

We then started driving towards Chinatown, with many interesting views along the way.

Hawaiian’s are very creative people…;)

Several people that didn’t make the tour decided to go to TurtleMania instead, which they said had massive turtles. I think the picture below supports that claim.

At around 4PM we headed back to the hotel to pick up our bags. Then we made it to RumFire shortly before 5PM, and were able to snag the nice outside seating area along with a great view of the ocean, as you can see below.

Because our flight was delayed we had more time here, and stayed till around 8PM, well after the sun set. The food and drinks were alright, but it was the view and outdoor setup that made the locale special. The service was pathetic, IMO, with the most flustered and disorganized and at times downright rude wait staff I’ve seen in a while. I know it’s not easy dealing with 25 FlyerTalkers, but this guy was just awful. I would have left no tip, but they seemed to have added 17% automatically and other Flyertalkers are far more forgiving than I, apparently.

 To be continued…

I have some United drink vouchers which expire at the end of next month (June), which I won’t be able to use, so does anyone need them? If so, shoot me an email at onemileatatime@hotmail.com with your name and address and I’ll send some to the first few people to respond, in sets of two.

Update: Just noticed I got a bunch of emails, so consider them gone. I’ll email the “lucky” people tonight, and have them in the mail in the morning.

Per Yahoo News:

HARRISBURG, Pa. – An airline pilot was found hiding behind a shed wearing only flip-flops and a wristwatch as a nighttime romp in the woods with a flight attendant ended with both under arrest, police said.
…..
“They told the officer they wanted to go do it in the woods, essentially,” said Lower Swatara Township police Sgt. Richard Brandt. “That’s the best answer they had.”

I’m not sure where this ranks compared to the JetBlue passenger spending his flight on the toilet or Richard Quest roaming NYC with drugs in the wee hours of the morning or even the, erm, passenger having fun on a flight, but it’s certainly up there.

I can kind of see what they were doing at least, unlike some of those stories. Still, when you have a gig at a regional carrier you shouldn’t be this dumb. Gotta admit, it’s kinda funny though…

Swiss just revealed their new business class product on a dedicated webpage which does a good job of showing all of the features. It’s very nice, and looks like it’s the same design as the new DL BusinessElite, a Thompson Solutions seat. The seat looks basically flat to me (and they do say it’s horizontal), so that’s a big improvement. I really enjoyed Swiss when I’ve flown with them in the past, and the new seat is all the more reason to choose them over Lufthansa. Sadly it’ll be a few years till it’s fleetwide, so don’t expect to see it on a flight near you anytime soon.

Makes me wonder if they’ll be improving F too, since there’s very little difference in terms of the seat now.

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four

UA1588, TPA-IAD, 05/16, 0600-0817

My morning started at 3:30AM, which was way too early for me. Considering it was a six hour time change to Hawaii it was really 9:30PM there, and dinner was still 23 hours away. I showered, got ready, and hopped online for a second and spoke to a couple of friends on the west coast, which is the first sign that I’m up way too early.

The ride to the airport, flight to IAD, and everything else up until that point was very standard. Sadly Channel 9 wasn’t on, but I always enjoy BPM on Ted. The short two hour TPA-IAD hop is one I can almost do in my sleep, a flight where I don’t really need a watch to know where we are. You could take me onto that flight blindfolded and I could tell you when we are about to begin our descent. As usual I was surrounded my FA’s in row 11, but fortunately had an empty middle. My audio jack was only working through one ear (tried multiple headsets), but I didn’t complain.

My connection in IAD was only 40 minutes, so I proceeded immediately to the gate. My FlyerTalk friend that I was flying with called me and told me our flight was oversold. This shocked me since the flight looked wide open the night before, and in this case I really had somewhere to be. As much as I love bumps, they always seem to come when I least want them! I remember the last time I got a bump was on the way to a dinner, but the $400 took priority in that case, and in the end I was quite happy.

We tried to negotiate with the gate agent, but sadly nothing was available that would get us to SFO in time for the SFO-HNL flight, regardless of where we would connect. It seemed like everything was basically zeroed out all day, and the only option the agent had was a middle seat in regular coach (not even Economy Plus), on the nonstop IAD-SFO. Since we were planning on meeting up with a flight attendant friend at ORD and also meeting up with another FlyerTalker there, we turned it down.

For me, nothing is worse than turning down a bump. I get a bad headache, my stomach starts to hurt, and I get suicidal for a few seconds. OK, maybe not that bad, but you get the point– it sucks! As a mileage runner I live for bumps, and nothing is worse than having to turn one down!

UA0141, IAD-ORD, 05/16, 0848-0953

This was a pretty bland flight. Sadly no meal service, but that was expected. Channel 9 wasn’t on and service was spotty at best. Our audio systems both weren’t working, so at least we scored Skykits, although we had to ask for them. We got into ORD a few minutes early after what seemed like a half hour taxi.

We met up with an FA friend that was heading to Beijing. Since her bags were in the domicile everyone assumed she was a gate agent, apparently, and she got asked several questions as we were walking through the concourse, mostly by people that didn’t speak any English and simply pointed to their boarding passes to ask for directions.

We headed to the RCC, which was totally packed. The RCC has to be one of the most mismanaged parts of United, at least the customer service desk. There was one agent at the service desk, right before the Asian departures, and there was a pretty long line. The line outside at the regular customer service desk was shorter.

We were making gift bags for the crews of our SFO-HNL flight since there were so many of us aboard, something we always do on flights with many FlyerTalkers. The RCC had a bunch of little Ghirardelli chocolate and Twix bars, and we kept taking them in large amounts so that we could start putting away some stuff for the crew. There was an older couple sitting right in front of the “buffet,” and every time one of us walked by to take a bunch of packaged goodies, they gave us the most odd stare ever. Little did they know it was for a good cause!;) Actually, most of the time I had a hard time not laughing out loud, since their reaction was just so peculiar.

We headed to the gate for our flight to SFO, which was packed, a consistent theme throughout the weekend. As they began first class boarding someone from seating area one tried to board and the GA promptly turned him away. One of the people I was traveling with thanked her for it, and she said something along the lines of “I always do this, I’m the red carpet Gestapo. I used to work BusinessOne flights.” A chuckle was had by all (except for the guy that was sent back).

UA0145, ORD-SFO, 05/16, 1227-1500

Service on this flight was very good. The biggest weakness was the food, which was a choice between a seafood plate and a sandwich. Usually when the FA takes my meal order I’ll just say “whichever makes your life easier,” which they always appreciate, but in this case I chose the sandwich since I don’t particularly fancy seafood. Suffice it to say, it was pretty bad. I usually like the hot sandwiches on UA, but cold sandwiches just don’t work well. The bread was extremely dry, so it was almost like trying to eat cardboard. It reminded me of coach meals from the 90′s. The soup was pretty decent, but my bowl was probably 1/5 full, and gone after two full spoons.

Prior to landing cookies and milk were served, which of course I accepted. I even added a Ghirardelli square to make it milk chocolate, but that actually didn’t work out too well. Ted joined me for the snack, as you can see below.

During approach we started talking to one of the FA’s who was involved in the new international premium cabin project. He was showing me pictures of their 747 evacuation tests, and I noticed another FA friend of mine in them, who he also knew. Small world! He told us some stories about the problems with the 747 evacuation, which was interesting to hear.

Upon landing we headed to the Red Carpet Club, where we met up with about 20 FlyerTalkers. Those that were booked on UA75, the earlier SFO-HNL flight, were still in SFO due to a pretty bad mechanical. As it turned out they were stranded at SFO that night because, while they ultimately found a new plane and taxied to the runway, the pilots found out the fuel had been miscalculated and then went illegal when they got back to the gate.

Anyway, the RCC was extremely busy, so fitting 20 people in there as a group proved to be a challenge. The looks on the faces of the people around us were priceless, as they were trying to figure out why the heck 20 of us were meeting in the RCC and so darn excited. Some even asked what exactly we were doing, and we explained that we were all members of FlyerTalk.com. A few FT’ers even helped out a guy who hadn’t heard of double EQM’s on United, and was very thankful to be told about it.

We started setting up the crew gift bags, which included Starbucks gift cards, Godiva chocolate, and of course plenty of RCC snacks such as Ghirardelli squares, Twix, Oreos, raisins, etc. Everyone signed the cards which had individual notes for each crew member. For the FA’s it was something like “Thanks for keeping the skies friendly and for the great service.” For the captain it was something like “Thanks for keeping the blue skies friendly and for the safe ride” (a Captain Flanagan quote), and for the first officer it was something like “Thanks for the safe ride and don’t let the captain boss you around too much. After all, you’re doing all the work.”

We also did our pre-flight briefing. For our large group flights we’ve gotten into a habit of mimicking the safety videos/demonstrations, and without exception it has made the crews virtually die of laughter in the past. We took about 20 styrofoam cups and about 20 stirrers, which came into good use during the safety demo, as I’ll write about shortly.

Shortly before leaving the RCC we spotted someone with the following sticker on his laptop:

Totally classic! Being the TSA disparagers that most of us are, we had found our hero. It takes some serious guts to put that on your laptop, especially if you’re running late one day and trying to get through security. He explained that he had worked with Drew Carey and that it was really his project, and gave us a few extras. I’m proudly keeping mine.

UA0077, SFO-HNL, 05/16, 1649-1915

Upon boarding the crew immediately recognized us and said “Oh, you’re those people from the website we were emailed about.” I immediately laughed and knew it would be a fun flight. They said they had received a weird email from an FA which wasn’t very detailed, so they were very curious about what FlyerTalk was. I quickly found out who had sent the email, an FA friend I haven’t talked to in a while.

We settled into our seats, which were mostly in rows 4-6. We had almost half of the first class cabin to ourselves. Pre-departure beverages were offered with a smile shortly after boarding, and I took water.

We gave the purser, a guy named Barry, the gift bags for the entire cabin crew, and he was very thankful. We asked if we could see the pilots, and within a few seconds they cleared us to enter. The flight deck was packed, with two pilots working and two pilots commuting (out of uniform). We gave the pilots our gifts, talked to them for a few minutes, and eventually the inevitable question was raised: “Say Captain, all of us are really aviation enthusiasts and always enjoy listening to Channel 9. Is there any chance you’ll be turning it on today?” He hesitated for a moment and then said “Em, sure, if it works I’ll be turning it on.” Sounds like he’s usually a non-Channel 9 captain, but ultimately it was turned on, which made us happy.

Eventually we began our pushback and the safety demo began. There was one FA on each side of the galley facing the passengers, on my side (the left side of the aircraft) was our aisle FA, and on the other side was the purser.

As the safety demo began we all pulled out the safety cards out of the seat pocket and placed them in front of our faces, which was a well coordinated effort. The FA on our side couldn’t help but crack up. As we continued our “demo,” the FA on our side almost died of laughter. The purser managed to keep a straight face, but at the same time didn’t seem against it. Some in coach also saw us, and found it to be pretty funny.

Our safety demo was pretty well rehearsed up until this point. As the video says “oxygen masks will fall down” we all place the sturofoam cups to our mouths. For “blowing into the tube” we all blew into the stirrers. When the video shows where the emergency exits are we all pointed. You get the point…

We had a long taxi and eventually took off from 28L. Here’s a video of the takeoff:

Shortly after takeoff beverage service began, along with hot nuts and menu distribution.

The menu read as follows:

to begin

Fresh seasonal greens
Trader Vic’s Javanese or ranch dressing.

main course

Trader Vic’s Pan-seared filet mignon with applewood smoked bacon demi-glace. Red potato gratin and asparagus wrapped with carrot.

Trader Vic’s Pan-seared sake marinated halibut with ginger, red bell pepper, and green onion broth. Jasmine rice with chives and braised baby bok choy.

dessert

Your flight attendant will inform you of the selection

We invite you to begin your meal with a Trader Vic’s signature Mai Tai

As people began their first round of drinks, the appetizer, a breaded chicken skewer with some kind of fruit sauce, was served.

Shortly thereafter the salad was served. I chose the more exotic dressing, which had quite the strong taste.

I also went with the filet, which was ok.

The sundae was referred to by the purser as a “Chapter 11 sundae,” manily because UA really cut back on the toppings. I’m pretty sure most of the FlyerTalkers on the flight were rolling on the floor laughing when he said it. You had to be there, he had the perfect delivery of it.

The entire meal service and presentation was flawless. Truly a spectacular crew. After dinner we worked on the “Halfway to Hawaii” game. For those not familiar with the concept, it’s a game for all passengers whereby you try and guess at what time we’ll be halfway to Hawaii. The captain comes on the PA to give us some information so it’s a bit easier, including our KIAS (knots indicated air speed), tailwind, total distance, and well as takeoff time. There were several private pilots in our group and we were really working on calculating it to the second. Once we had an estimate we had everyone in our group guess in intervals of 10 seconds, on the 6′s. In the end this was just our Halfway to Hawaii forms: 

In the end we lost, and instead a kid that must have been 12 years old won, only being off by four seconds. We were off by about a minute, if I recall correctly, and realized that this game is a total crapshoot. Fortunately I got lucky and won one of the “random” first place drawings, probably because I bugged the hell out of the purser to give us more information.

After dinner many of us chatted up the FA’s in the galley, and I’m pretty sure at one point we had close to a dozen FT’ers in there along with all of the FA’s, both deadheading and working. We had a LOT of fun and had a truly awesome crew and hilarious purser. The purser had so many jokes, none of which I can repeat here, but he could easily be an airline comedian, competing with the best of them.

Before we knew it we were already landing at HNL in what looked like a smoggy evening, probably due to the volcano “issues.” The water was very blue, and as soon as we touched down our whole group clapped and cheered, which confuses the heck out of other people.

Once again a FlyerTalker captured the landing:

As you can hear in the video, everyone laughed when the purser announced a 10 minute taxi to the gate. It seems like we landed on the far runway, which is quite a haul from the terminal.

We bid farewell to the crew after what was a great flight, and headed up to the RCC since we had gotten in a few minutes early and our rides weren’t quite there yet. About 20 of us approached an otherwise empty RCC at once, and the look on the agent’s face was once again priceless. It was if “her” club had just been taken over, and she really couldn’t believe it. We stayed there for a few minutes before heading into town.

To be continued…

Per Flying Critic:

And the fees keep coming.  Now American Airlines will charge you $15 to check your FIRST bag.  Elites are exempt.  So are international itineraries.  But otherwise expect to pay up for checking a bag.  I expect them to increase enforcement of carry-on size restrictions.  I also expect United and others to join the race to the bottom as soon as they can.

The press release can be found here.

So is this surprising? I’d say no way. Folks, let’s face it, this is only the beginning. The airlines are trying to nickel-and-dime, one step at a time, and waiting until everyone else follows the last “enhancement” before making another one. I’m willing to bet the others will follow with a month or so, and this quickly become the norm.

Is this necessarily a bad thing? Well, let’s face it, oil is killing the airline industry right now, and they have to find ways to cut costs and increase revenue. I prefer them finding ways to cut costs short of raising the fares substantially, and that’s what they seem to be doing.

Welcome to 2008.