I ran into some, erm, interesting United employees over the weekend while traveling, so here are a few (random) quotes:

• “I’ll leave you with my hand-picked onboard staff.” — A320 captain
• “We’ll be going 78% the speed of sound. For those of you used to taking Amtrak, that’d be about…. hmm, dot there, carry the one, add a zero, ah, 506 miles per hour.” — A320 captain
• “If you want to listen to our relentless negotiations with the government, feel free to follow along on Channel 9.” — A320 captain
• “If our flight turns into a cruise….” — CRJ flight attendant
• “Hmm, do you know how to work an iPhone? I’m trying to delete 60 pictures someone just put up of me on my Facebook page” — An RCC agent that was at least 75 years old
• “For those of you that don’t get out enough, here’s how you use the seatbelt and oxygen mask.” — CRJ flight attendant
• “Lucky for you I’m the absolute bestest awesomest flight attendant in the history of the world that you’ll have in your life.” — CRJ flight attendant
• “Are you over 15?” — CRJ flight attendant
• “We’re a militant bunch.” — JFK flight safety expert
• “Wait a second, you were here yesterday.”