You’ve gotta love the new “security” regulations the past few days, given that no one really has a clue what’s going on. I’ll be the first to blame it on the TSA’s incompetence, but this Chicago Tribune article quotes a DePaul University professor that has a different take:

Transportation expert Joseph Schwieterman says that might be the point. The DePaul University professor says the lack of clarity keeps would-be terrorists guessing.

Ah, why of course! The people that want to blow up our planes are relying entirely on airshow maps, the “sit down for the last hour” rule, and not being able to use blankets to blow up planes. I think I owe the TSA an apology, it all makes sense now….

I also love this line from the article:

Security on one flight is draconian with passengers being told to keep their hands visible and not to listen to iPods.

Are they really telling passengers to “keep their hands visible?” Oh, what our world has come down to.

(Tip of the hat to Sam)

For those that haven’t caught on yet, I want to be one of the first 50 people to make it to 250,000 elite qualifying miles on United next year. That might just require me to get a bit more creative and efficient. One way to get more efficient is to do two mileage runs in a row. For example, fly from Tampa to Washington to San Francisco to Seattle to San Francisco to Washington (this flight is the redeye) to Tampa, and then doing the same thing over again. In other words, spending two nights in a row on a plane and knocking out about 16,000 elite qualifying miles in a weekend.

No doubt I’d be tired, but I think I can handle it. Actually, I’ve never done this before domestically, so it sounds like an adventure of sorts.

Thoughts? And please don’t tell me how painful your double redeye in international first class was, as you were pampered by friendly flight attendants, enjoyed caviar and Dom, and had a flat bed with a comfortable duvet and pillow to lounge in.

The more the stories of “security” the past few days roll in, the more I feel like Glenn Beck. Don’t worry, I’ll spare you the tears, chalkboard, and “founding fathers” speech, but for the first time ever I’m really wondering whether flying is something I’ll want to do anymore in a couple of years. Some might argue the current measures are temporary, but then again I thought the liquid restrictions and shoe carnival would be as well, but they’re still around.

The first story of interest is yet another issue on the same Amsterdam to Detroit Northwest flight that caused this whole scare a couple of days ago. I only realized this was a story this afternoon, since up until that point I assumed they were still talking about the incident from a couple of days ago. This time around a passenger that was “described as a Nigerian” (not sure what the hell that means) was sick and locked himself in the bathroom for an hour. That caused the FBI to get involved. Poor guy!

The second story is truly ridiculous. A US Airways flight from Orlando to Phoenix was met by anti-terrorism authorities because of the suspicious activities of a couple of passengers. What did they do, you ask?

Transportation Security Administration officials said passengers aboard U.S. Airways Flight 192 from Orlando, Fla., on Saturday night reported that two men, described as Middle Eastern, were acting strangely and talking loudly to each other in a foreign language.

“Acting strangely?” And talking loudly? If talking loudly is a crime, I can think of several self-important businessmen that deserve to be detained.

A nearby passenger also observed one of men watching what appeared to be footage of a suicide bombing, but was actually a scene from the 2007 movie “The Kingdom.”

I’m sorry, I just had to chuckle at that. Perhaps not the smartest thing to watch if you “look suspicious” (according to other passengers), but I can’t imagine they’d be watching that if they had bad intentions.

The man also got up from his seat while the seat belt warning sign was still lit, FBI spokesman Manuel Johnson said.

Given that pilots in the US love to keep it on forever, I can’t really blame the guy! When you’ve gotta go you’ve gotta go….

For once I’m scared to eff around at the airport! Not that I’d do anything outrageous otherwise, but I won’t be giving the TSA any lip, I won’t be thanking the TSA agents at the gate for protecting our country (this time around they might actually think I’m being serious), or anything else. And for once I actually support every passenger getting a pat down. Given the incompetent workforce protecting our airports, that’s the least they should be doing, in my opinion, instead of standing around discussing Dancing with the Stars, football, or New Moon. Of course I’ll still ask them to change their gloves if they so much as want to touch my bag.

Through January 7, the code “UpintheAir” will get you free wifi on American. With the number of promos we’ve seen recently, I can’t help but think that wifi will be consistently free soon, and the airlines will make their money from sponsors.

(Tip of the hat to Frugal Travel Guy)

According to this FlyerTalk thread, many international United aircraft have their in-flight entertainment systems disabled due to the “airshow” feature, where you can see the location of your aircraft. Sadly I’m betting United won’t be the only airline that’s playing this game.

I just don’t know what to say anymore, I really don’t. The first issue is that you can’t even really see where you are on the “airshow” feature thanks to the aircraft being half the size of the United States on the screen. Beyond that, seriously? I mean, really, is this going to keep us safe? There’s no doubt that mandatory lowering of the window shades is next.

And I think we can say goodbye to Channel 9 on United. At least this time around it’s not the pilots at fault. I can honestly say that I think we’re only encouraging the terrorists. I can only imagine the joy they’re getting out of seeing the inhumane state of the US airline industry thanks to this and the continuous security “enhancements.”

You know what that means. No, I’m not talking about the new years resolutions you’re going to break, but rather the “fresh start” which each year brings in terms of the zeroes in the “elite qualifying miles/points/stays/nights” column of your frequent travel accounts. I used to hate January 1 when I first started traveling frequently. I saw a little over 100,000 “elite qualifying miles” in my account, which felt good. I was always worried I wouldn’t requalify the following year. But now I actually look forward to the new year. My United Mileage Plus account has nearly 400,000 elite qualifying miles for the year, which I can’t help but cringe at. At the same time, each year presents a new challenge, and I’m looking forward to what the new year brings as far as travel goes.

Not surprisingly, this was one hell of a year as far as travel promotions go. I expect much of the same next year. While I wouldn’t mind seeing some more double elite qualifying miles promotions, I’d love to see something more creative.

Anyway, I did something I don’t think I’ve ever done before — I’ve planned a full month in advance. That’s right, my January is already all booked up. Usually I don’t like planning ahead since it often means I miss out on some great promotions. I’d hate for one of the airlines to publish some great promotion early in the year which doesn’t apply to previously booked travel, leaving me in this dust having planned in advance.

My January travel, while not very exciting, will keep me up in the air. It’s all domestic, involves six redeyes, and actually has me staying in some cities for more than a few hours. As I fly more and more and slowly approach million miler status with United, I just can’t bring myself to constantly do direct turns anymore. It’s nice to actually see a city once in a while, even if I’ve visited it a hundred times before.

Furthermore, if my math is right, it looks like I won’t be spending more than two consecutive nights in the same bed (maybe less than that if my girlfriend isn’t in a bad mood).  

Ah, the joys of travel….

If anyone happens to be in the Bay Area on Friday, January 8, I’ll be hosting a FlyerTalk dinner that evening. I’m still working on a time and location, but expect it to be somewhat late (7PM at the earliest) and in the city (as opposed to Burlingame, where I often host dinners).  Details can be found here. If you’re not a FlyerTalker feel free to shoot me an email if you’d like to join in on the fun.

Check out this travel advisory from aircanada.com:

As a result of the added security precautions, passengers should also expect delayed and cancelled flights as well as missed connections. Air Canada will endeavour to transport passengers to their destination as quickly as possible and rebook passengers who miss their connections at no charge.

New rules imposed by the U.S. Transportation Security Administration also limit on-board activities by customers and crew in U.S. airspace that may adversely impact on-board service. Among other things, during the final hour of flight customers must remain seated, will not be allowed to access carry-on baggage, or have personal belongings or other items on their laps.

I’d love to provide some kind of rational commentary, but is there anything that can really be said? So for the last hour of an international flight we can’t have any personal belongings on our lap? Not even magazines and books? And to stay seated for the last hour of the flight? Seriously? Is that going to stop anyone with bad intentions from doing whatever they were going to do?

Next thing you know we’ll have TSA agents on flights….

(Tip of the hat to Christian)

It’s time for a reader photo. Thanks to Iain for sending in this one.

Correct Answer:  Franz Kafka Museum, Prague, Czech Republic
Winner: Iceman

If you’d like your photo featured, please email it to me at onemileatatime@hotmail.com, along with the correct answer.

….and it was really, really good. Well, sort of. Kind of. First of all a bit of background. I was planning on seeing it on Christmas Day as that’s when it was supposed to come out in theaters, but I drove by the local movie theater earlier today and saw that it was listed as “now showing.” And it was indeed showing already, so I went to one of the showings this evening.

The movie was exactly what I was expecting actually, which is depressing on one hand but good on the other hand. No, it’s not all about flying, but it’s all about the things that come along with being on the road more often than not. I thought they did a phenomenal job not just with the factual aspects of frequent travel (which I’m sure is largely thanks to American, Hertz, Hilton, and Travelpro), but also the emotions, actions, and different personalities of those that travel. There were also many laugh out loud scenes, especially when it came to the travel scenes. I found myself laughing when others weren’t, while others laughed when I wasn’t, although it really was funny all around.

The movie was thought provoking, at least for those of us that spend more times at airports than at home. Here’s where I sort of start with some spoilers, so if you haven’t seen the movie, feel free to stop reading here. The reason I get into this is because I’d like to hear the thoughts of others that have seen the movie. And if you do stop reading here, definitely give the movie a watch.

Anyway, on one hand Clooney’s character seems happy all the way up until the end, even before he meets “Alex.” He might be lonely, but at the same time you can’t miss what you don’t know, and he really enjoys being on the road. Now I don’t want to get into my general theory on marriage and families, but I think very few people in the world are really happy.

The “flaw” in his character only really seems to come out when he pursues “Alex,” only to find out she’s married. And sadly enough from there I thought the movie kind of stunk, at least for someone like me that was hoping for some kind of happy or noteworthy ending. Despite making ten million miles, he seems to end up unhappy, but then again it’s not totally clear. On one hand he doesn’t seem like he’d be happy continuing to travel and being alone, but at the same time I can’t imagine he’d be happy at home either, even if he were settled with someone he loves. It’s just one of those endings that makes me want to rip my hair out. What message can those of us that are gone more often than not get out of this? We’re addicted to travel and even enjoy it, but then again there are more meaningful things in life. But based on this movie it seems like there’s no way to win.

Again, great movie overall, although I would have preferred if it ended up being a bit more of a chick flick so I could feel better about my hobby.