The next time you’re at a TSA checkpoint and opting for a patdown in lieu of the full body scanner (aka nude-o-scope), consider trying this out if you’re a guy:

Transportation Security Officer: “I’m going to be running my hand up your inner thigh until I reach the area of resistance. Do you have any sensitive areas I need to know about?”

You: “Yes, my resistance sack.”

If they’re smart enough to process this (which isn’t necessarily a given), they’ll at least crack a smile. I read that on FlyerTalk a few weeks ago and have tried it a few times, and the reaction has been priceless.

Posted on September 8th, 2011 by lucky
Filed under: Security/TSA | 12 Comments »

  1. September 8th, 2011 at 6:15 am

    Patrick said,

    ahahaha

  2. September 8th, 2011 at 6:29 am

    gobluetwo said,

    Nice one, must’ve missed that one in that thread. I was just thinking, “Yes, my area of resistance.”

  3. September 8th, 2011 at 8:39 am

    deux centimes said,

    C’est la grande classe…

  4. September 8th, 2011 at 11:56 am

    Carl said,

    I absolutely hate the mission creep of the TSA, nor do I agree with many of their policies. Much of Gary’s analysis has been spot-on.

    But the airport screeners do not make policy and do not seem to have any impact on policy, so I don’t see the point in subjecting them to these remarks.

    I just try to get through the process as quickly as possible while being polite.

  5. September 8th, 2011 at 12:45 pm

    Eric said,

    Seriously, if you want to make the TSA’s day, just walk though the scanner. Everybody wins.

  6. September 8th, 2011 at 12:47 pm

    lucky said,

    @ Carl — It’s intended to be humorous, and frankly, most TSA agents have at least chuckled at it. They realize how ridiculous it is to say “area of resistance,” and I’m just pointing it out.

    @ Eric — “Everybody wins.” Yep, including the terrorists.

  7. September 8th, 2011 at 1:36 pm

    Just Me said,

    Can I just say, “If you touch my junk, I’ll have you arrested?”

  8. September 8th, 2011 at 5:05 pm

    PanAm said,

    At TPA a few weeks ago I was wearing my baggy cargo shorts, and I guess the body scanner didn’t like the plethora of pockets, so the guy had to pat down my shorts, though only on the outter leg area. Without my belt they sort of sagged a bit and he said something about not wanting to have my shorts drop.

    A female TSA critter was, I guess, standing watch and I THOUGHT she said this phrase “I can hold on to them!” Though after I thought about it, I think she said “YOU can hold on to them” For a moment I thought I was being picked up, and not in the suspected-terrorist sort of way! :)

  9. September 8th, 2011 at 8:05 pm

    Easy Victor said,

    My standard response is “I don’t have a resistance. My mama told me that I have testicles and a penis. Is that what you’re going to touch?”

    Usually shut’s ‘em up for a while…

  10. September 8th, 2011 at 8:07 pm

    Easy Victor said,

    @Eric-everybody wins? I don’t know how I can win by getting a radiation treatment.

  11. September 8th, 2011 at 8:28 pm

    Eric said,

    So, according to the TSA Study at

    http://www.tsa.gov/approach/tech/ait/safety.shtm

    Millimeter wave technology produces radiation 1/1000 of that of a single cell phone call.

    Backscatter technology produces the same ammount of radiation as two minutes on an airplane..

    So, it seems that folks are more willing to get groped by some stranger than they are absorb the same radiation as a thousand cell phone calls, or the equivalent of flying an extra ten miles on the airplane.

    Just a thought.
    Eric

  12. September 8th, 2011 at 10:01 pm

    Rob said,

    @Eric, the best hospitals sometimes make mistakes calibrating their x-rays, leading to harmful overdoses. You think the TSA can do better than that?

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