German Tourist Lands in Sidney, Montana, not Sydney, AustraliaJanuary 29 2008
For the second time in as many years, a German traveler headed to Sydney, Australia, mistakenly bought a ticket to Sidney, Montana, and landed in the small outpost before realizing what was going on. How someone could end up on a prop plane from Seattle and think that they’ll continue flying 7,000 miles is a little nutty to me, but there ya go.
Please Keep Your Pants in Their Full and Upright PositionJanuary 02 2008
A male passenger on a United flight from Washington to Seattle last week was arrested for groping the woman in the seat next to him while she slept. The two had been chatting, but the woman dozed off (must have been scintillating conversation) and while she slept, the man decided that was a great time to feel her up. The woman woke up, complained to flight attendants, who summoned onboard air marshalls, and the flight diverted to Pittsburgh where he was jailed.
Man Covered in Salad Dressing Arrested at DFWNovember 13 2007
(via Jaunted)
A man was arrested at Dallas/Fort Worth airport after police found him sitting on an American Eagle jetbridge covered in salad dressing. He also didn’t notice that he was missing a shoe.
A quick investigation found that he had spent the day drinking vodka at an airport watering hole.
Woman Dies While in Custody at Phoenix AirportOctober 01 2007
An irate passenger at Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport was handcuffed and placed in a holding cell on Friday after she screamed at a customer service agent in the airport. Police went to check on her soon after and found that she had died in the cell. Cops think she may have choked herself to death while trying to get out of the handcuffs. Incidentally, the woman was the stepdaughter-in-law of the New York City’s public advocate (though that’s neither here nor there).
The woman became extremely angry after she was not permitted to board her US Airways flight and was re-booked on a later departure.
Spirit Airlines: Please Do Not Hide Your Monkey in Your PonytailAugust 08 2007
A passenger on a Spirit Airlines flight from Lima, Peru to LaGuardia (connecting in Fort Lauderdale) was caught hiding a monkey in ponytail (that’s not a euphemism…he actually had a monkey under his ponytail). During the flight to LaGuardia the monkey got loose from the ponytail (where he must have been hanging out for 7 or 8 hours) and the passenger was forced to hold the monkey on his lap. Passengers and staff easily detected the monkey, as it was sitting in the guy’s lap. Health officials (that’s what the story says) confiscated the monkey upon his arrival in New York.
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Three Drunk Passengers Force Emergency Landing in RussiaJuly 16 2007
Two separate incidents involving three drunk passengers forced a Pulkovo Airlines plane to make an emergency landing shortly after taking off from St. Petersburg on its way to Turkey. Drunk man number one reportedly slapped a female passenger sitting next to him after she declined his romantic advances. The second set of drunks got into an unrelated right over an unreported issue. All three were arrested upon landing. (Editor’s Note: I’m not reinforcing stereotypes, I’m just reporting the news…)
That’s Not a Penis Pump, That’s a BombAugust 25 2006
A guy is taking a trip from Chicago to Turkey with his mom and when he gets to the airport, security sees a slightly suspicious object in his luggage. They ask what the object is and the guy tells security that it’s a bomb. It’s not a bomb, of course, it’s a penis pump (obviously). He was too embarassed to sell security in front of his mother that he brought the penis pump with him, so he did what any of us would do in this situation: he lied. And said it was a bomb. Which, if you’ve ever flown, you’ll know is a stupid thing to say. Which is why he’s now facing felony charges. No word on whether they confiscated the pump.
The Gucci Bag and the Ballpoint PenAugust 02 2006
Two stories of nutty passengers getting kicked off planes yesterday:
A woman on a Cathay flight from Hong Kong to Tokyo refused to put her Gucci handbag under the seat in front of her during takeoff. The plane had already begun to taxi when she got into an argument with flight attendants, causing a delay of an hour. The plane returned to the gate, where she was arrested.
In other news, a Southwest Airlines flight from Las Vegas to Little Rock was diverted to Tulsa when two men got into a fight involving a ballpoint pen. The details aren’t so important, but the photo on this page of the, uh, assailant, is kinda priceless.
David Hasselhoff Banned from British Airways FlightJuly 27 2006
What is up with celebrities and airlines? Snoop Dogg gets banned from British Airways. DMX gets banned from British Airways. Some person named Mo’Nique gets kicked off a United flight yesterday. Where will it end? Well, it won’t end with David Hasselhoff. British Airways refused to allow the Baywatch star to board an LA-bound flight in London after he got drunk in the first class lounge. Said a witness, "He wasn’t aggressive, he just had problems standing." Hasselhoff was reportedly upset after splitting with his wife. After sobering up, BA allowed him and his talking car to board a later flight.
Mo’Nique Kicked Off United FlightJuly 26 2006
Hm. This is an odd one. "TV Star" Mo’Nique was kicked off a United Airlines flight after a confrontation with flight attendants over a hair dryer. I can’t be bothered to share the details. Ms. Nique later told a radio station that United’s employees were racist, saying, "I felt like I was being treated like an animal…This
happens to black people all the time, and they don’t have a voice. I
have a voice."
Doesn’t she know that EVERYONE who flies is treated like an animal? Sheesh!
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