Happy final day of 2012!  Here we go with Throwback Edition 6…

Submitted by Ben in Washington, DC 

Delta Marine Terminal – LaGuardia (LGA)
Gate Agent: Ladies and gentlemen, if you have given up your seat in exchange for a voucher and a later flight, you should not be attempting to board this aircraft, I can see you! Hendricks family, that means you.

Submitted by Sean in Chicago, IL

United Flight from Los Angeles (LAX) to Chicago (ORD)
Flight Attendant: Ladies and gentlemen, I want to be the first to welcome you to Chicago where the local time is 7:05 in the morning. We hope you enjoyed your flight today, again my name is Suzzane and on behalf of United and our Star Alliance partners, we thank you for choosing us and hope to see you on-board again soon. If you did not enjoy your flight, my name is Mary and on behalf of American Airlines and our oneworld partners, we thank you for flying. Please address all concerns to our customer service desk located in Terminal 3 concourse H!

Submitted by Helen in Sioux Falls, SD courtesy of OHEverywhere

Delta Flight from Los Angeles (LAX) to Atlanta (ATL)
Guy #1 while finding his seat: Awwww, man, you’re supposed to be a leggy blonde.
Guy #2: Yeah, sorry, I’m just a fat Asian.

Submitted by Shirley in Billings, MT 

Arrivals Hall with a group of girls who had just arrived via connection from New Orleans
Loud Girl:  Look, we were in New Orleans, and they were passing out free condoms. On the outside they say “protect your personal stimulus package”!

…and now some Irish Humor

Submitted by David in Dublin, Ireland

Arrivals at Dublin Airport (DUB)
Someone was playing a joke upon arrival in Dublin.  The annoucment in the arrivals area after customs was the following:
Arriving passenger Master Bates. Master Bates your parents are waiting. Beat it to baggage claim.

Submitted by Marty K in Dublin, Ireland

Aer Lingus flight from Dublin, Ireland (DUB) to Barcelona, Spain (BCN)
Flight Attendant: Would you like some headphones?
Passenger: Yes, please!!! …and how did you know my name is Phones?

Happy holidays!  Here we go with Throwback Edition 5…

Submitted by Aaron in Philadelphia, PA

US Airways Flight from Washington, DC (DCA) to Charlotte (CLT)
Flight Attendant: Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks are in the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children or other adults acting like children.

Submitted by Beth in Toronto, Ontario

Air Canada flight from Vancouver (YVR) to Toronto (YYZ)
A Canadian airline pilot wrote in his journal that on one particular flight due to strong crosswinds, he had unfortunately hammered his ship onto the runway with a very hard greeting. The airline had a policy which required the first officer on the flight to stand at the exit door while the passengers disembarked, smile and repeat “thanks for 
flying with us”. His comments indicated that, in light of the poor landing, he avoided eye contact with the passengers in an attempt to avoid any smart comments that might result. Finally there was only one little old lady left to exit the plane. Walking slowly up the aisle with a cane, she approached the awaiting first officer and said:
Little Old Lady: Sir, do you mind if I ask 
you a question?
First Officer: Why, no, Ma’am, what is it?
Little Old Lady: Did we land, or were we shot down?

Submitted by Debbie in Montreal, Quebec

WestJet flight from Toronto (YYZ) to Edmonton (YEG)
Flight Attendant after a hard landing: That was quite a bump, and I know what you’re all thinking… I’m here to tell you it wasn’t the airline’s fault, it wasn’t the pilot’s fault, it wasn’t the flight attendant’s fault…it was the asphalt!

Submitted by Carl

Southwest flight from California connecting to West Virginia 
Flight Attendant: We thank you for flying Southwest. We know you have many travel options. Luckily for us you couldn’t afford those.

Submitted by Hazel in Atlanta, GA

Delta flight from Charleston, SC (CHS) to Atlanta (ATL)
Flight Attendant: Thank you for flying Delta. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.

Submitted by SC Flier

US Airways flight from Phoenix, AZ (PHX) to Charlotte, NC (CLT)
Announcement from the flight deck while taxiing for our departure
Pilot: Ladies and gentlemen seated on the left, this is what happens when you don’t pay full price for your flight. You have to pull your plane away from the gate.
The annual jet-pull charity fundraiser was underway in front of the hangar with teams of employees pulling the US Airways A319 with the Arizona Cardinals livery.  The Cardinals mascot was there with them.

Happy holidays and here we go…

Submitted by Kevin

United flight from Chicago (ORD) to Denver (DEN)
Pilot (after taxing to the gate for ten minutes): Let me know if you guys see something that looks like an airport.

Southwest flight from Denver (DEN) to Albuquerque (ABQ)
Flight Attendant: Chances are they’re all middle seats. Find the one with the most attractive people, and take it.

Submitted by LindaB in Atlanta, GA

Flight from Atlanta (ATL) to Phoenix (PHX) 
The flight attendant recalled that back when they allowed a diaper bag in addition to your carry on and personal item, a woman boarded with a roll-aboard, a briefcase AND a diaper bag. The flight attendant stopped her and said “ma’am…only 2 items are allowed” at which point the passenger pointed out she was carrying a diaper bag, which was exempt from the rule. Only problem, spotted by the astute flight attendant, was the woman was missing a baby!

Submitted by Paul in NY, NY

Flight from Zurich to JFK (Swiss)
Male Passenger 1 – I hate when I’m assigned to work for Susan, she is a complete b****.  She needs to take a vacation and reset.
Female Passenger 1 – Screw the vacation, she needs to take this weekend, find a man, and …

Submitted by Aaron in Philadelphia, PA

US Airways Flight from Washington, DC (DCA) to Charlotte (CLT)
Flight Attendant: Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks are in the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children or other adults acting like children.

Submitted by Eric in Rockland, NY

JFK Airport
A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After reaching a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom:
Pilot: Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to your nonstop flight from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax…Oh No, Look out!!!
Silence followed, and after a minute or two the captain came back on the intercom
Pilot: Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant brought me a cup of very hot coffee, which ended up spilling in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!
Passenger in Coach: That’s nothing. You should see the back of mine!

Hope everyone had a nice weekend, here we go again with a few more reader submitted entries…

AA Flight from JFK to Dallas (DFW)
Flight Attendant (JFK): Well, everybody, sorry for that delay, the plane was late coming in from California. On the other hand, I have some good news: I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance.

United Express flight from Memphis (MEM) to Newark (EWR)
Flight Attendant: This will be a miserable flight. It’ll be really turbulent and then we’ll end up in New Jersey.

KLM flight from Amsterdam (AMS) to Los Angeles (LAX)
British Guy (putting bags in overhead compartment when a woman taps him on shoulder): Yes?
Woman: You have two bags.
British Guy: What?
Woman: You’re only allowed one.
British Guy: Sit down and mind your own business.
Woman: It’s because of people like you that there’s no space left for the rest of us. How is it fair that you can do that?
British Guy: You’re twice the freaking weight that I am yet only had to buy one ticket. How’s that fair?

Southwest Ticket Counter @ Las Vegas (LAS)
This happened to my brother this morning at LAS and was communicated to me via text message:
At the Southwest ticket counter, in line to check luggage.  Lady is complaining about the long line to check bags and how the other airlines (lines) are shorter.
Southwest employee: Ma’am you are welcome to fly with them and pay $150 for your 2 bags. A 10 minute wait for free bags may be worth it.
Customer: (silence)
And that’s why I love Southwest!

@ JFK T4 Security Check
TSA Guard #1: You’re new here, right?
TSA Guard #2: Yeah. I worked at the Gap before, so this is different.

Delta Flight from Atlanta (ATL) to LGA 
Pilot: Everyone, we’re fifteen minutes early… Please remember that next time we’re late.

Delta Flight from JFK to Paris (CDG) 
Flight Attendant (while experiencing turbulence the seatbelt sign goes on): Please note the captain has turned on the seatbelt lights. When the seatbelt light is on please remain….*DING* Seatbelt Light Goes Off …  O.K. it is off now…those of you who were ignoring it can go back to what you are doing….

Flight to Colorado Springs, CO (COS)
Pilot(standing at the door to the plane after pulling into the gate): Shit! I totally didn’t mean to park here!

Flight to Tampa (TPA)
Pilot: And just for sanitary reasons, please change your babies diapers in the bathroom, not on the pullout table in front of you, because people might stare.

Flight from Miami (MIA)
Pilot (during severely delayed flight): This is your pilot speaking, no word from air traffic control, but I just wanted to let you know…that I’m thinking of all of you.

Flight from Cancun (CUN) 
Pilot: If you kids don’t calm down right now and stop throwing those damn pillows, I will turn this plane around and take you back to Mexico!

WestJet flight from Montreal (YUL) to LaGuardia (LGA)
Flight Attendant: So I’m gonna let the lady in the box take it away in French for the safety debrief, then I’ll finish up in English, because we like to save the best for last!
Entire Plane: Oooooooooooooh!
Passenger in the Back (in French): We’re still in Quebec, you know!

Send your Overheard entries to adam@pointmetotheplane.com and include the carrier and route, as well as any other pertinent details and sources.

Hope everyone had a nice weekend, here we go with a few reader submitted entries…

Submitted by LexMktng1 – American flight from Kahului, Hawaii (OGG) to Los Angeles International, CA (LAX)
Female Passenger 1: You were in Hawaii all summer long?  That’s awesome!
Female Passenger 2: It was great, until I realized it was time to come back.
Female Passenger 1: At least you got to spend the whole summer outside the country.

Submitted by RayTyson – courtesy of OHNY - JetBlue flight from Fort Lauderdale (FLL) to JFK
(Pilot welcome message) We’re on our way to New York where the weather is cold and icy, just like my prom date back in high school.

Submitted by Kevin One Liners Courtesy of OHNY:

American flight from LaGuardia (LGA) to Miami, FL (MIA) - Flight Attendant: Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, if I could have your attention I would very much appreciate it. My parents paid thousands of dollars to put me through college for a theater arts and communications degree, and since this is the only time the airline ever puts a microphone in my hand, I’m sure they would really appreciate it, too.

KLM flight From Amsterdam (AMS) to JFK
Female Passenger: Excuse me, I left my passport in the ladies’ room.
Male Flight Attendant: I’m sorry, madam, you’ll have to wait until we make our way down the aisle.
Female Passenger: But I need to get my passport.
Male Flight Attendant: I understand that but we cannot move this cart back far enough. We should be through in a few minutes.
Female Passenger: But it’s in the bathroom! What if someone takes it?
Male Flight Attendant: If it’s not in the bathroom when you get there, let one of us know and we’ll make an announcement.
Female Passenger: No, I can’t wait for that to happen, I have to go and get my passport now.
Male Flight Attendant: I understand, but as I’ve explained to you before, you must wait. Please return to your seat.
Female Passenger: Oh, you’re very nice. You know, in the United States, people don’t behave like that.
Male Flight Attendant: In the Netherlands people don’t dress like that.

United Flight from Los Angeles (LAX) to Honolulu (HNL) 
Pilot: Welcome to Hawaii! I’m going to tell you all what my mom told me when I turned 18: get your bags and get out.

United Flight from Newark (EWR) to Chicago (ORD)
Pilot (after a bumpy landing):  Ladies and gentlemen, that landing was not me or the plane. That was our co-pilot–he’s required to complete one landing a month. And he blew it. Welcome to Chicago.

Southwest Flight from Las Vegas (LAS) to Oakland (OAK)
Flight Attendant:  Ladies and gentlemen, we have finally arrived at a gate. Please make sure you have all your personal belongings before you disembark: iPods, cell phones, BlackBerrys, small pets, sweaters, sunglasses, and since we just came from Las Vegas, wedding rings. Make sure you get those back on folks.

Qantas Flight from Sydney (SYD) to Melbourne (MEL) 
Passenger to Attendant: Excuse me? They turned the movie off.
Attendant: Yes, we’re landing earlier than thought.
Passenger: Oh, but the movie wasn’t over.
Attendant: Sorry about that, but we need to turn it off for descent.
Passenger: But I was watching it!
Attendant: I am very sorry, but since we have started our descent…
Passenger, interrupting: But now I don’t know how it ends!
Attendant: They all lived happily ever after.

Delta flight from Los Angeles (LAX) to Honolulu (HNL)
Flight Attendant (bumping into a passenger with the beverage cart): Whoops, sorry! Woman driver!

Hope everyone had a nice holiday weekend, here we go…

American Flight 1384 from Barbados BGI to JFK
Female Passenger 1 – Wow, you got so much color down here, how long were you in Barbados for?
Female Passenger 2 – I was here for 6 nights but this is my natural color
Female Passenger 1 – I wish I could get that dark
Female Passenger 2 – No, natural as in I’m black
Female Passenger 1 – I know I can see, I’m totally jealous.  So do you get this color in New York during the summer as well or it’s the Caribbean sun?
Female Passenger 2 – (rolls her eyes and puts on her headphones)

American Flight 655 (JFK – St. Thomas STT) while testing a new credit /debit device for in-flight food purchases
Flight Attendant – Mam, you have to confirm your purchase.
Elderly Female Passenger – How do I do that?
Flight Attendant – With the device your holding
Elderly Female Passenger -  (picks up the cc device to speak) – I confirm

USAirways Flight 4128 (Baltimore BWI – Philadelphia PHL) All Economy courtesy of CEOwarriorette
Male Passenger – I’ll have some coffee with two sugars please.
Flight Attendant – Sorry sir, no hot beverages due to the short flight duration.
Male Passenger – Iced coffee will do then.

Delta Flight 184 from JFK to Paris CDG
Connecting Passenger 1 – Sorry to disturb you, this is our first time on a plane overseas.
Flight Attendant 1 – How exciting.  What can I help you with sir?
Connecting Passenger 1 – We both want to watch Two and a Half Men
Flight Attendant 1 – That should already be loaded in your personal tv units
Passenger 1′s wife – Yes, we both found it and clicked play but we can’t hear anything
Flight Attendant 1 – Neither of your headphones are working?
Passenger 1′s wife – We have to use the headphones? We wanted to watch together

Delta Lindbergh Terminal – Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport MSP
AMEX Representative– Sign-up for the Delta SkyMiles card and earn enough miles for a free trip anywhere in the domestic US.
Female Passenger 1 – Sir, you’re peddling lies
AMEX Representative – Excuse me?
Female Passenger 1- We call them SkyPesos now and you can’t go anywhere with them (tears the application).  They are worth cr*p.  (screams at others) – Don’t sign up for this card!

Delta Flight 315 from JFK – San Juan,  Puerto Rico SJU
Flight Attendant – Mexican fiesta omelet?
Male Passenger – Not if you paid me
Flight Attendant – Yea, I don’t blame you, what a way to start the day.

Welcome to another Saturday edition of Overheard on the Plane! Here we go…

Submitted by Lillian courtesy of The Crew Lounge

United flight from San Francisco, CA (SFO) to JFK
An older gentleman headed towards the back of the plane to stretch about halfway through the flight.  He started making conversation with the flight attendant…
Passenger: I’ve been flying for years and I truly miss those glory days, getting dressed up and truly enjoying the experience.  I also remember when the flight attendants used to be young and pretty (long into conversation and forgetting who he was speaking to).
Flight Attendant: Sir, those flight attendants are still working here, they are just a little bit older.

Food Court @ Terminal 1 (United)  in Chicago (ORD)
This is from a flight attendant. While she was sitting at her table in the food court, the group next to her was completely bashing her airline, everything from the poor service of the check-in personnel, the flight attendants, on-board product, etc. They catch a glimpse of the flight attedant and turn to her…
Passenger: Oh, sorry I don’t mean to be bashing your employer.
Flight Attendant: Oh that’s OK, you should hear what we say about you guys.

United Flight from Los Angeles, CA (LAX) to Houston, TX (IAH)
An older woman rings her call-bell while in our initial descent and has this to say to the flight attendant…
Passenger: I can’t bend down to reach my feet, I need you to change my socks.
Flight Attendant: I’m sorry ma’am, I can’t help you with that.
Passenger: How dare you, what horrible service!  I’m going to have you fired, you’ll regret this.

United flight from Houston, TX (IAH) to Orlando, FL (MCO)
The passenger in the front row of Economy had his prosthetic leg leaned against the bulkhead wall. The flight attedant walked up to the purser and asked what she should do.  She was instructed that nothing could be on the floor or up against the wall…
Flight Attedant: I’m sorry sir, I need you to either put your leg on or place it in the overhead bin.
Passenger: I can’t get up, but you’re more than welcome.
All the sudden we see the flight attedant lifting up the leg and putting it in the overhead…
Flight Attendant: Those things are heavy!

United flight from Los Angeles, CA (LAX) to Denver, CO (DEN)
A woman who seemed very into herself sitting at a window seat in business rings her call-bell prior to take-off…
Passenger: I need to have my seat relocated.  I cannot sit next to the window and risk having my hair get messed up.

United flight from San Francisco, CA (SFO) to Honolulu, HI (HNL)
Pilot (to flight attendant): What is the exchange rate in Hawaii?
Flight Attendant: Rolls her eyes. Another coffee sir?

Remember, there is currently an on-going contest for Overheard on the Plane submissions. Three lucky submissions received before November 1st 30th will be randomly selected to receive 500 AA miles, with no limit on entries. All entries can be sent to adam@pointmetotheplane.com and should include the carrier and route, as well as any other pertinent details and sources. Please send in your entires, after 30 weeks all submissions have now been published and there are no entries for next week’s post!

Welcome to a Sunday edition of Overheard on the Plane! Here we go…

Submitted by Michael P

American Airlines flight from Honolulu, HI (HNL) to Dallas, TX (DFW)
After we boarded our HNL-DFW flight in first class a mom with a toddler on the way back to economy said to her daughter…
Passenger: We are not at our seats yet, keep walking pass these fancy people in their fancy seats.

Submitted by Alex in College Park, MD

Air Canada flight from Paris, France (CDG) to Montreal, Quebec (YYL)
On approach the flight attendant said: Ladies and gentlemen. We are about to land in Montreal. Please make sure your seat and traytable are in the upright and locked position. At this time we would like to go over the emergency exits on this aircraft…

Submitted by Marty K in Dublin, Ireland

Aer Lingus flight from Dublin, Ireland (DUB) to Barcelona, Spain (BCN)
Flight Attendant: Would you like some headphones?
Passenger: Yes, please!!! …and how did you know my name is Phones?

Submitted by Hector R in Bronx, NY

JetBlue flight from JFK to Tampa, FL (TPA)
Pilot: Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane until we land. It’s a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it could impact the flight pattern.

Submitted by Amber in St. Louis, MO

United flight from Chicago, IL (ORD) to Miami, FL (MIA)
Overheard on Channel 9
Tower: You have traffic at 10 o’clock, 6 miles.
Pilots: Give us another hint,  we have digital watches!

Submitted by Tim K in Binghamton, NY

Delta flight from New York LaGuardia (LGA) to Syracuse, NY (SYR)
Taxiing down the tarmac, the plane abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, what the problem was…
Flight Attendant: The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine…and it took us a while to find a new pilot.

Submitted by Gayle P in Rye, NY

Spirit flight from LaGuardia (LGA) to Fort Lauderdale, FL (FLL)
No joke, on my recent Spirit flight the flight attendant and this departing message, I think she was only half kidding…
Flight Attendant: Last one off the plane cleans it.

Remember, there is currently an on-going contest for Overheard on the Plane submissions. Three lucky submissions received before November 1st 30th will be randomly selected to receive 500 AA miles, with no limit on entries. All entries can be sent to adam@pointmetotheplane.com and should include the carrier and route, as well as any other pertinent details and sources. Please send in your entires, all submissions have now been published!

Welcome to another Saturday edition of Overheard on the Plane! Here we go…

Submitted by Julie G

US Airways flight from Phoenix, AZ (PHX) to Los Angeles, CA (LAX)
A boy approx 6 years old was sobbing uncontrollably a few rows behind my seat.  The gentleman sitting next to me leans over and says, ” I guess he just found out you have to pay for wi-fi.”  He quietly sits back and on we go.

Submitted by Aiden in Newport Beach, CA

These are from a flight attendant blog I read called Sara is the flying mama. She did a post called Crazy Things Passengers Say to Flight Attendants:

• Kim: I had a lady ring her call bell and ask me how to roll the window down…SERIOUSLY!! I had to hold in my reaction. I asked another flight attendant to go help the lady, as I couldn’t. We laughed about that one the rest of the flight!!
• Terry: A man asked if my mother knew what I did for a living??? I said yes..His reply……..She knows you walk around looking at crotches?! (I was doing seat belt check).
• Stacey: A passenger’s kid throws up ALL OVER THE PLACE and ME, then looks at me and asks ” who do I see to get my cleaning voucher ” .. Can’t make this stuff up people!
• Tina: I had a passenger ask me “what is that pin on your uniform?” I told him it was an alumni pin from Temple University, which is where I went. He went on to say how he’s heard that it’s a good school, etc. and then said “If one of my kids would have gone to a four year college and became a stewardess I’d kill them.” I said, I went to college for an education, not job training.
• Lisa: I had a creepy passenger that I had to ask to stop drinking his duty free booze tell me at the end of the flight, as he was deplaning, “thank you for everything sweetheart. I have a special place for you in my basement”. WTH!!!!
• Doug: Several years ago, I had a young guy (who I believe had been partying too much) ask me if he could borrow my deodorant. Even though he really needed some, I didn’t oblige!
• Nellie: I told a passenger who was holding his garment bag that he needed to stow it. He said, “If it was a baby you’d let me hold it.”
• Amy: On today’s flight to Belfast, a customer asked me to help her locate her missing tooth in her luggage. When I refused to get into her bag and search for her missing tooth, she has asked the captain for a complaint letter!
• Gayle: In September, working a flight from AMS to IAD, a woman wanted to know if we had SHOES for sale onboard. We were all about ready to sell her our inflights (shoes) for the right price!
• Elizabeth: I had a woman in first class take off her pants in the aisle (though she was standing next to the lav) and ask me to hang them up for her, while she stood there in her pantyhose!
• Pat: I had a man ask me if then plane was going to stop at the “Sky Mall” on this flight.

Remember, there is currently an on-going contest for Overheard on the Plane submissions. Three lucky submissions received before November 1st 30th will be randomly selected to receive 500 AA miles, with no limit on entries. All entries can be sent to adam@pointmetotheplane.com and should include the carrier and route, as well as any other pertinent details and sources. Please send in your entires, there are currently only enough for one more edition of Overheard on the Plane!

Welcome to another Saturday edition of Overheard on the Plane! Here we go…

Submitted by Joseph L in Dallas, TX

American flight from Dallas, TX (DFW) to Amarillo, TX (AMA)
On a windy day during final approach and with an extremely hard landing
Flight Attendant: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what’s left of our airplane to the gate!

Submitted by Nate in Oklahoma City, OK

Delta flight from Salt Lake City, UT (SLC) to Oklahoma City, OK (OKC)
After a hard landing
Flight Attendant: We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.

Submitted by Meredith in Scottsdale, AZ

US Airways flight from Las Vegas, NV (LAS) to Phoenix, AZ (PHX) 
After a real hard landing 
Flight Attendant: Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. Once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we’ll open the door and you can pick your way through to the terminal.

Submitted by Elaine in Chatham, NJ

United flight from Fort Lauderdale, FL (FLL) to Newark, NJ (EWR)
After a tough landing 
Flight Attendant: Attention passengers, celebratory drinks will be served in the United Club toward gate C120.

Submitted by Grant in Sydney, NSW, Australia

Virgin Australia flight from Sydney, NSW (SYD) to Melbourne, VIC (MEL) 
Flight Attendant: We made it and I need a drink. Cabin crew please disarm doors and cross dress.

Remember, there is currently an on-going contest for Overheard on the Plane submissions. Three lucky submissions received before November 1st will be randomly selected to receive 500 AA miles, with no limit on entries. All entries can be sent to adam@pointmetotheplane.com and should include the carrier and route, as well as any other pertinent details and sources.

Welcome to another Saturday edition of Overheard on the Plane! Here we go…

Submitted by SC Flier

US Airways flight from Phoenix, AZ (PHX) to Charlotte, NC (CLT)
Announcement from the flight deck while taxiing for our departure
Pilot: Ladies and gentlemen seated on the left, this is what happens when you don’t pay full price for your flight. You have to pull your plane away from the gate.
The annual jet-pull charity fundraiser was underway in front of the hangar with teams of employees pulling the US Airways A319 with the Arizona Cardinals livery.  The Cardinals mascot was there with them.

Submitted by Basim

United flight from San Francisco, CA (SFO) to Redmond, OR
Passengers deplane onto the tarmac using a mobile ramp as there are no jetways at RDM.
Flight Attendant: Ladies and gentlemen, we need to wait a few minutes for the gate checked bags to arrive.  Be careful as you deplane, it’s raining outside.  With all this sugar on board, I’d hate to see you melt.

Submitted by Scott in Tulsa, OK

American flight from Dallas, TX (DFW) to Tulsa,OK (TUL) 
Flight Attendant: Our flight crew for this evening [snickering and laughing] is Captain Merder [more laughing] … Captain Thomas Merder and First Officer Robert Smith.

Submitted by Trevor in Las Vegas, NV

US Airways flight from Las Vegas, NV (LAS) to JFK via Charlotte, NC (CLT)
As the flight attendant was coming around with food and sandwiches to buy on board, the girl next to me had a question about the smoked turkey sandwich.
Passenger: Is the smoked turkey and brie sandwich skinny on the meat? As you can see I’m a voluptuous woman and I like big sandwiches!
Flight Attendant looking very confused handed the passenger the sandwich to exam herself.  She ended up purchasing one!

Submitted by Henrieta in Miami, FL

Delta Check-In Area  - John Wayne Airport (SNA) – Santa Ana, CA
Passenger 1: I really want to get some new boots for the winter.
Passenger 2: Me too, but I think I’m too short and stocky to wear them. I don’t want to end up looking like Puss In Boots!

Submitted by Joe B. in NY, NY

Alitalia flight from JFK to Rome (FCO)
Passenger 1 (girlfriend): Do you think if I learned Italian I would get an accent?
Passenger 2 (boyfriend): Umm no, you know Spanish and you don’t have one.

Remember, there is currently an on-going contest for Overheard on the Plane submissions. Three lucky submissions received before November 1st will be randomly selected to receive 500 AA miles, with no limit on entries. All entries can be sent to adam@pointmetotheplane.com and should include the carrier and route, as well as any other pertinent details and sources.