Last week I flew to Nashville, but because of flight schedule changes I didn’t fly direct—I flew through Dallas. I swear, in the first twenty minutes of being on that plane I saw some very interesting things (that I will be writing about over the next few weeks).  But after the twenty minutes was up I started feeling tired and closed my eyes for a minute. I was just getting relaxed when I literally had a rude awakening and was knocked in the head by a backpack. Not kidding—I had a red mark for several hours, it was so hard. Apparently a lady was walking down the aisle with the backpack on her back, and turned to talk to her husband. The worst part is that the lady didn’t even notice she had whacked me.

Remember a few years ago when I reminded you to watch your shoulder bags while going down the aisle? Watch your backpacks too!!!!! For those of you who regularly use backpacks during travel, please make sure you are aware of how much space you take up behind you. Especially in tight spaces like bus or airplane aisles. I’m sure I have been guilty not paying attention before, but I never will again. The best way to make sure you don’t hit someone is to take your backpack off of your back and carry it. (Pictured: The very functional High Sierra Loop backpack, available on Amazon.)

Readers, have you ever had an unfortunate run-in with someone’s bag?

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Let’s play another game of “Was this rude?”! The last time I asked this question we had a great discussion. This morning while flying to Dallas I saw something that seemed questionable to me etiquette-wise. This situation is (IMO) definitely not as controversial as last time, but I still thought I would put it out to the community.

This morning I flew on American to Dallas. I boarded with the Elites, and got comfortable in my window seat. A guy sat in the aisle seat, but didn’t put on his seatbelt or get stuff out—I assume he was waiting to see if someone needed the middle seat. As time passed, the plane (and overhead bins) got more and more full. Eventually I heard a women say, “Mind if I slip in front of you?” and moved (without waiting for an answer) into the space between the guy and the seat in front of him. He assumed (as did I) that the woman needed to get into the middle seat, and moved to stand up and get out of her way. “Oh, don’t get up,” she said. “I’m just waiting to get to my seat up there. I had to put my bag way in the back!” So, the guy just kind of sat there awkwardly while the woman stood very very close to him and waited to get to the front of the plane.

I’m of two minds about this. On the one hand, I’ve seen flight attendants do it often and it doesn’t seem rude then. Plus, well, if you have to get to the front of the plane how else can you do it? But it just seems like it would be super uncomfortable for both parties. Of course, the woman didn’t seem uncomfortable at all, like she did this all the time.

Readers, what do you think? Is it rude to stand in the row in front of someone? What could she have done instead? What would you have done?

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I have seen some very kind things on airplanes. People giving up their seats so couples can sit together, passengers helping others put their bags in the overhead bin, smiles, and all around good cheer. I have also seen less nice things, and unfortunately coming home from Cancun there were a lot of non-nice actions to witness. Wonder why! Were people mad about coming home from vacation? Or hungover from the night before? Who knows. But something must have been going on, because I have never before seen this level of rudeness on one flight.

First, there were several pre-board passengers. That is a normal enough occurrence—a few elderly people, a guy in a wheelchair and his family, etc. Did not seem, to me, like anything out of the ordinary. But the people waiting to board were very impatient, making comments under their breath (or out loud) such as, “Does it really take that long to board?” Um, yes, for some people, it does take that long to board, and I’m pretty sure that is exactly why airlines have preboarding! But whatever.

When they called First Class to board (Home Warrior and I were lucky enough to get upgraded), a lot of people tried to board that were not in First. Not so surprising, again, as that happens everywhere. But I was very surprised at how the passengers in First handled it, although maybe I shouldn’t have been after the comments I heard during preboarding. They were angry—like noticeably angry. Multiple people made rude comments, not even trying to keep their voices down, about people in front of them. I get it—you want to get on the plane and get settled. But it felt like these people were seriously overreacting.

Then, while actually boarding, Home Warrior and I were behind a couple on the jetbridge. We were all waiting pretty patiently, until another passenger walked past us and the other couple, pushed in front of the family in front of them (who were picking up their bags to board), and got on the plane. At this point, Home Warrior and I were both wondering what the heck was going on. Yeah, the guy had no bags, and everyone else did, but the whole idea of waiting in line is that you wait for the people in front of you!!

Okay. So we’re finally on the plane, about to get to our seats, wondering what will happen next. The woman standing in front of us, who is sitting in the bulkhead, is looking for a place to stow her backpack. She sees a spot in front of another bag, and puts her bag up. The door to the overhead bin won’t close though, so she starts shoving her bag in as hard as she can. Repeatedly. Which wouldn’t be a big deal, except that she was crushing some other person’s bag in the process. The owner of that bag (also sitting in the bulkhead) jumps up and says, “Excuse me! Please don’t do that, there is glass in there!” The woman rolls her eyes, says, “Whatever,” and moves her bag to the next bin.

At this point I swear my eyes were about to pop out of my head. Luckily they didn’t, because as I was trying to put my own bag in the overhead bin, the person behind me shoved past so hard that I fell over. I caught myself on the back of my seat, and so didn’t hurt myself, but still. Come on, people! There’s just no call for that.

You would think that people returning from vacation would be relaxed and mellow, but not this time. Rude, rude, rude.

Readers, have you been on a flight where it seems like everyone got up on the wrong side of the bed?

By now, you’ve all probably heard that Virgin Atlantic is allowing limited cell phone use on their planes. Only six passengers can use the service at a time, and it’s pretty price—over $1.50 per minute and $.20 per text. And the FAA still won’t allow cell phone usage on planes in the US, so the service won’t be available within 250 miles of the US. Many other airlines around the world already offer this service. (Which begs the question—why does the FAA think cell phones are so dangerous?? But that’s a topic for another day….)

I’ll be honest—I dread this becoming widespread. I read somewhere (forgot where-sorry!) that in a survey, half of the respondents would use a cell phone on a plane. While I would hope that’s not true, unfortunately it sounds about right. Obviously emergencies are one thing, and a quick call isn’t a big deal. But what concerns me most is the idea of inconsiderate people right next to me gossiping for an hour about what their cousin’s best friend’s boyfriend did over the weekend…. This happens already everywhere from stores to restaurants to restrooms (awkward!). It just seems sad that one of the few places where cell phone conversations are forbidden is about to go away…. Guess I’ll have to remember my noise-canceling headphones every flight!

Readers, tell me—how do you feel about cell phones on planes?

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After a flight last week, I realized I may have left something out of the Plane Etiquette Roundup from a few weeks ago. Something important. I was flying home from Nashville and preparing to enjoy a nap after a long, long day trip. Almost asleep, I was at that in-between stage where you’re still kind of aware of your surroundings but very relaxed. Suddenly a huge cloud of odor accosted my nose. It took a second for me to react, but I jerked upright, looking for the culprit. A woman across the aisle and two rows up was spraying perfume on herself. (To give you a little background: I am incredibly sensitive to scents. I can get a migraine in seconds from certain smells, and am allergic to many others. Luckily, I actually have a pretty terrible sense of smell normally. I like to think it’s my body’s way of protecting me from harm. Anyway.) I immediately started sneezing repeatedly, getting curious stares from my neighbors. Eventually I stopped sneezing, but my eyes were itchy and watery the rest of the flight. (Pictured: the very lovely Thierry Mugler Angel Eau de Toilette. Smells great, but wait until you land!)

Another example: fingernail clipping. Remember what happened to my friend several months ago? Well, after I relayed this perfume story to the Home Warrior, he told me an even worse story that happened to him on a recent flight. He was looking at stuff on his iPhone when a piece of a fingernail hit his tray table. (I shudder as I write this.) Turns out the guy in front of him was clipping his nails and lost control of one. I asked the HW why he didn’t tell me about this when it happened, and he said he knew I would freak out. He was right.

There are many personal grooming things that simply should not be done when you are in close confines with other people. Spraying perfume, clipping your nails…. I’ve even seen people brushing their hair and clumps of hair flying onto the people behind them. Please be aware of those around you, and if there is any way that what you are doing could impede on their personal space, wait until you land. Obviously not all personal grooming activities are irritating to other passengers—using a cleansing cloth on your face or hands, putting on makeup—those kinds of things can be done without disturbing fellow passengers. Just be mindful! And remember, you’re sharing a small space with hundreds of others. When in doubt, wait until landing. Your neighbors will thank you.

Sometimes while traveling we get so focused and in the zone that we forget we are not the only passengers on the plane. Still, recognizing how to coexist in a metal tube very closely with 150 strangers can make for a better flight for everyone. Here are some of my favorite etiquette tips for air travel.

• When you are standing up to go somewhere, please don’t grab the seat in front of you for balance. Most people, it seems, simply don’t think about this. Every time you touch the seat in front of you, the person sitting there can feel it. Grab your own seat if you need help!
• Let the middle seat have the armrests. You may be tall, have long arms, need a lot of space…. It doesn’t matter. The person in the middle has less space than you, and it makes their flight better if they get the armrest too.
• Respect the crew. If the flight attendant tells you to turn off your cell phone, do it. If they tell you where to put your bag, put it there. The crew is responsible for the transport and safety of over a hundred people. They are not your personal chef, bartender, or secretary.
• Keep your kids corralled. Whatever it takes to keep your kids happy, be it snacks, juice, music, a coloring book, please do it. Don’t let your child kick the seat in front of them! I know sometimes it’s unavoidable, but if it is constant throughout the flight it can get very uncomfortable for the person in that seat.
• Be mindful of reclining. When I posted about whether or not reclining your seat is rude, the results were definitely mixed. If you need to recline your seat, make sure that you don’t keep it reclined the entire flight, especially during food service.
• Watch your bags when going down the aisle. Make sure you know where your purse or briefcase is. It’s so easy to accidentally hit everyone in an aisle seat by simply not paying attention.
• Don’t shout. The background noise on planes is so loud that it can hinder conversations with people around us. But please, don’t shout. The person next to you may be super interested in what you’re saying, but I bet the guy three rows in front of you is trying to work/rest/read, and isn’t worried about all the details of your daughter’s wedding.
• Know your limits. I have definitely enjoyed a glass of wine or two (especially in first class!) on occasion during a flight. Just remember one drink on a plane is equal to two drinks on the ground. So please, know your limits and don’t get super drunk.

Readers, what are your favorite etiquette tips for passengers on a plane? (And watch for the carry-on etiquette round up next week!)