Last week, I set out to secure my new credentials as a frequent global traveler.  Knowing now what I do about the program, it was truly worth the effort and the $$$…

Back in July 2011, the U.S. Department of Customs and Border Protection (DCBP) opened the “Global Entry” Trusted Traveler Network to all eligible U.S. citizens, in order to help expedite the clearance process for those citizens of the United States who are willing to submit to an extensive background check, be photographed and fingerprinted and pass a secondary interview process.  These travelers are then issued a privileged process of clearing customs and immigration through specially designated lines and ATM-like kiosks using the passport/photo/fingerprint scans to identify the member and clear them through in a more expeditious manner.

It really wasn’t very difficult to do.  And if you travel outside the United States more than 4 times a year, I’d say that the financial investment is worth your money, and definitely your time.

It begin with, you must create an account online at the DCBP website called GOES (Global Online Enrollment System) at https://goes-app.cbp.dhs.gov/main/goes. If you are already registered with NEXUS or SENTRI, please follow the links on that page for further information on transferring your registration to the GOES system for admittance into the Global Entry program.

Keep in mind that by applying for this service, you will be subjected to a thorough 10-yearbackground check.  You will be asked what countries you visited for business and/or pleasure over the last 10 years and approximate date you were there.  If you hold dual citizenship or have multiple passports, you MUST include all of these documents in your application.  You will be asked to submit payment to the DCBP of $100.00 USD which is NON-REFUNDABLE (be very mindful of this fact: if your application is rejected for an incomplete application, or incorrect information, or for any other reason, you will have to reapply to the program and submit ANOTHER $100.00).  Your application and membership in the program is valid for five (5) years from the date of your acceptance in the program.

Also, be mindful that if you have ever been convicted of a felony here in the U.S. or abroad, have been fined in the past by the U.S. Customs for violations of any type, or have any other discrepancies in your record that would flag the system, your application will be rejected and you will forfeit your application fee.

Once your application and fee has been received, the DCBP will take upwards of four weeks to process your information and perform your background check.  Upon completion of this procedure, you will receive a letter (usually in e-mail form) either congratulating the acceptance of your information or you will be notified of your rejection from the program.  Those who are accepted to the program must then return to the GOES system and schedule an appointment for a one-on-one interview with a DCBP officer.  There are approximately 20-25 locations that you can schedule your appointment.  You must schedule the appointment within 30 days of the date of your acceptance letter or forfeit your application and fee.

During the interview, you will view a video prepared by the DCBP that explains in complete details how the program works and the procedure for using the Global Entry kiosks at the airport.  Afterwards, you will be asked a series of questions regarding your past, your travel, your employment and be asked to review any items on your application that the DCBP officer deems necessary to continue.

Once your interview has been completed to the satisfaction of your DCBP officer, you will be photographed and fingerprinted.  Afterwards, a special sticker is attached to the inside of your passport and you are then instructed on the next steps.  Basically, you will receive a letter in the mail confirming your completion and acceptance into the program.  If you have any specific questions about the program or the procedures, the interview is the best time to ask.

As an added bonus, currently the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) has begun the “Trusted Traveler” program at several major airports around the country, and will be rolled out to all airports as the program is fully developed.  Successful applicants of the Global Entry program are currently automatically accepted into this program and you will receive a special credit-card sized card with sensitive electronics built into it (much like your passport) and a protective sleeve to store it in.  This card will grant you access to the special express lines at participating airports to get through security, and allow you the ability to get through the screening process without having to remove your shoes, jackets or separate your laptop from your carry-on luggage, thus expediting getting you to your scheduled flight.

Keep in mind that, as with all security programs, you are ALWAYS subject to secondary search and screening at any time, so while you will save a lot of time and headaches most of the time, there will be times when you are required to these additional searches.  Failure to comply with these requests, or discovery of your violation of any customs or immigration rules or regulations will subject you to fines, and/or imprisonment and most certainly automatic dismissal from the program without the ability to regain entry.

For further information about this program, contact the DCBP at their website at www.cbp.gov or www.dhs.gov.

Avoid forcing the TSA to be the Grinch that stole YOUR Christmas!

© MGM/UA for Theodor S. Geisel (Dr. Seuss)

As sure as the holiday season is upon us, someone is always ready, willing and able to ruin things for the rest of us!

Last week, a Continental Airlines passenger, bound for Cleveland, was arrested at Los Angeles International Airport and charged with possession of and transporting marijuana with the intent to resell it.[1]  What made this incident a bit more relevant than most was HOW the Transportation Security Administration discovered the more than 120 pounds of cannabis that was seized…

It turns out that Derik Dwayne Neely, 32, of Flint, Michigan, had concealed the parcels of pot within two Christmas-wrapped boxes inside his checked bags.  Since the TSA officers who were scanning the luggage couldn’t make out what was inside the gift-wrapped boxes, by protocol, they were removed and unwrapped.

The holidays are important to the vast majority of us Americans, whether it is for Hanukkah, Kwanza, or Christmas.  It’s perfectly fine to take off for your family’s, friends’ or favorite vacation destination fully prepared for gift exchanges…but if you are going to fly to get there, the TSA warns: DON’T WRAP THE GIFTS!

To begin with, try to remember that there are certain things which cannot be transported on commercial aircraft simply because they may fall into the category of “dangerous goods.”  Flammable liquids, gases and solids are a no-no.  Any type of explosive or explosive material is forbidden.  And believe it or not, if your holiday goodies require refrigeration, do not assume it’s okay to wrap it in dry ice without notifying the airlines and filling out the necessary forms required by law, no matter how much you pack in your carry-on or checked luggage!  (By the way, PLEASE don’t pack perishables in either your carry-ons or your check baggage using regular ice—you may end up causing an unexpected spectacle at the airport if the ice begins leaking out of your bag, especially in an overhead bin at 30,000 feet!).

Oh, and those of you Paula Deens, Rachel Rays and Gordon Ramseys out there: listen up!  You may make the very best homemade gravy, cranberry sauce or strawberry jam, but according to the TSA, if it’s more than 3.4 ounces and not placed in the required singular quart-sized Ziploc™-style baggy when going through the screening checkpoint, they will be required to confiscate it!

The TSA has guidelines spelled out for all travelers regarding the transport of Christmas Gifts and food items on flights during the holidays.[2] You can find a complete run down of the do’s and don’ts on their website.  The TSA advises that pies and cakes are allowed through the screening checkpoints, but are subject to additional screening procedures.  Gifts purchased at the airports inside the secured checkpoints have already been pre-screened and should require additional scrutiny by TSA, but remember they have the authority to question and/or screen any item being brought aboard an airplane.

© Theodor S. Geisel (Dr. Seuss)

If you just personally feel that Santa must deliver to your loved ones at your destination, have the good folks at FedEx or UPS act as your sleigh this year.  It’ll save you time, stress and especially delays or embarrassment at the airport.

Let the “reindeer games” commence!

_________________________________

[1] LA Weekly, Blogs, “Christmas Marijuana Seized at LAX: TSA is The Grinch,” Dennis Romero, Nov. 11, 2011:  http://bit.ly/t2OB7e

[2] Transportation Security Administration, For Travelers, “Traveling with Food or Gifts: How to Pack Food and Gift Items”  http://1.usa.gov/sqf6KQ

It’s beginning to look a lot like…wait!  Stop!  Not yet! It CAN’T be that time of year already…

That’s what you try to tell yourself as the hair on the nape of your neck starts to rise.  That knot in the pit of your stomach starts churning and you’re already wishing it was January 2^nd!

Anyone who has had the “pleasure” of traveling during the holidays can empathize with those feelings.  But with a little preparation and education, not only can it be survivable, but you can actually save a few years on your life with the reduction of stress that you will feel if you are properly equipped with the right knowledge

So let’s start with the basics:

Buying Your Ticket

If you haven’t purchased your airline tickets by now, the pickin’s are getting pretty sparse.  With the tremendous increases in jet fuel over the past 13 months, and the lack of a bounce back for most people in this economy, the airlines have been doing all they can to reduce their losses by tightening up available seats, especially domestically in the U.S.

All is not in vain, however.  There are many sources one can utilize to find last minute deals and teaser fares put out by various airlines.  If you are reading this blog/article, you are probably tech-savvy enough to use these tools to getting a great deal on airfares.  Two places that come to mind rather quickly are through Twitter and Facebook.  All the major airlines in the US and abroad have active Twitter streams and “breaking news” about these special deals are usually “tweeted.”  Check out @JetBlueCheeps and @BoardingArea, among others.  If you are on Facebook, make sure to look up the major airlines and “like” their pages to get notifications on special air fare sales.

If you are particular about where to sit on the plane, you should be familiar with how seats are laid-out and numbered on your particular flight(s) and in the cabin of choice you book.  SeatGuru.com is an excellent resource to reference when booking your travel.

Keep in mind that although you have a confirmed seat, your seat assignment is not always guaranteed.  There are a few factors that may affect your seat assignment, such as cancellations, or more frequently aircraft configuration substitutions.  The gate agents will do their best to accommodate you, but be advised that their ability to match what you originally booked may be quite impossible.  If you are travelling with a group or family and this happens to you, it may be a little more difficult to accommodate, so ask the crew onboard for assistance if the agents are unable to help.  Many crew members will do their best to help get this squared away, but again, be patient and let them do their jobs.

Also, remember that every airline has a “zero-hour” timeline (check with your specific carrier) and checking in for your flight after that deadline can result in your seat assignment being forfeited…and if you are running really late, you may end up losing your confirmation on that flight altogether, which means going “stand-by” on the next available flight (next “available” doesn’t always mean the next flight – it could literally mean the next flight(s) that have seats available to accommodate you on.  Also, keep in mind that the airlines have a ranking system for stand-bys which place those needing accommodation on the list based on price paid for the ticket, mileage status, etc.  It is rarely “first come-first served.”

Arriving at the Airport

Airports during the holidays are usually chaotic at best.  The better prepared you are before getting to the airport the smoother things will go for you.

I will make one disclaimer here:  The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) has the right to search any bag and conduct a personal pat-down search of any passenger wanting to gain entry into the secured zones of the airport, regardless of mileage status or job title.  Even crew members are subject to this rule.  However, the TSA has begun to make a few significant changes to make things easier for most travelers.

First off, they have relaxed the rules for children 12 and under with regards to security screening.  Kids can now go through the scanners without the need to remove their shoes.[1]  13 and older will still be required to remove their shoes before going through the scanners, for now.   TSA is currently testing equipment that will automatically scan shoes as a passenger passes through the scanners, but those are not ready for use during this year’s holiday madness.  The TSA does provide an excellent resource regarding the screening process at the airport with kids, including instructional videos and links to other important and pertinent information you may find helpful (you’ll find the reference for the site at the bottom of this article.[2]

If you are bringing a jacket with you, including suit coats, windbreakers and sweaters, you will be asked to remove them and place them in a separate container on the scanner belt.  All shoes and boots must be removed and scanned separately as well.  Larger metal jewelry and belt buckles tend to set off the alarms; be proactive while you are in line and remove these items from your person in advance so you are ready to go when you approach the belt.  It will help move things along much quicker and the folks behind you will appreciate your consideration too!

Remember that TSA still limits liquids, aerosols and gels to 3 oz. travel containers, and the entire amount of these items must fit in a single QUART-sized Ziploc™ container.  Partially filled containers of a larger size (more than 3 fl.oz.) are not allowed and WILL be confiscated by the TSA at the checkpoint.  So refrain from bringing your $200/bottle perfume that you’ve had for years in that 4.5 oz. bottle!  They WILL take it!

ALL laptop computers and large electronic devices are subject to special screening and must be scanned separately from all other carry-ons.  Laptops contained in those handy neoprene slipcovers may be left in them, so long as there are no other items (like papers, writing utensils or power cords) contained in them at the same time.  If you DO put other items in those pouches, remove them prior to placing it through the scanners.

Travelers with pace makers, artificial limbs, and internal metal medical devices (metal plates, joint replacements, etc.) should notify a TSA agent prior to entering the scanner.  They can usually take you to a side area and conduct a special screening for your case.

For those of you who virtually LIVE on an airplane, the TSA has implemented its “Trusted Traveler” program, in cooperation with Customs and Border Protection (known formally as “TSA Pre-Check”).[3]  Currently, only American and Delta Airlines are part of the pilot program, however, anyone can apply for the program by simply filling out the application at the Global Entry website[4] and pay the non-refundable $100 fee (this covers the extensive background check and interview each applicant is required to go through).  There was no current information regarding turnaround time for acceptance in this program, but successful applicants are allowed expedited access through security checkpoints, and are allowed to keep shoes and light jackets and sweaters on, keep belts on, go through a fast-track security line, and are able to keep their “3-1-1” compliant liquids and gels inside their carry-on bags when they are screened at the checkpoints.

No matter which airline you fly on in the USA, the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has recently limited ALL passengers to ONE (1) piece of luggage, and ONE (1) personal item, including a purse or briefcase – that’s only TWO items, not three as used to be the case.  The airlines are required by FAA to monitor this and can, at any time, require you to check your bag(s) to your final destination.  Most airlines are now charging to check bags ahead of time (some will give you a discount on this fee if you do it online prior to coming to the airport).  Also, check into the airlines’ frequent flier programs as many will allow you one free checked bag with either their mileage program or by applying for and getting their frequent flier credit card.

Checking Luggage

Most people dread the thought of checking their luggage with the airlines for fear it will be lost, misdirected, ransacked or damaged in the process.  While these things do happen on occasion, the airlines have actually made great improvements and strides to keep your luggage with you at every step of your journey.  Many of the major airlines now have your luggage scanned at every leg of the process with specialized barcodes on each bag that are tied directly to your ticket and can be traced quite efficiently.

When and if it does happen that your bag doesn’t arrive at your destination, it is important that you have the right information to give the airlines to help locate that stray bag.

One of the simplest things you can do is to have your name, address and contact phone number attached to the bag outside, and a duplicate of the information located in a prominently placed location inside the bag.  I would also suggest placing a copy of your travel itinerary inside your bag along with your personal contact information.  That way if your bag ends up in Portland, Oregon instead of Portland, Maine, the baggage agents can get your belongings to you that much quicker.

You might want to consider a luggage concierge service to handle the bags for you.  These services have special rates with companies like FedEx and UPS to get your bags to you.  If you are going to pay a fee for your bags anyhow, why not try one of these door-to-door services instead?  One example is LuggageForward.com.  You can track your bags via their website for free and you will know exactly where it is and when it will be delivered.[5]

On the Plane

Everybody is in a rush to get where they are going with the least amount of angst or delay.  Civility is rare to find under these circumstances and people’s tempers can be ‘hair-triggers’ these days.  Most airlines offer pre-boarding as a courtesy to its disabled and/or frail passengers.  Not every airline, however, offers pre-boarding for families with small children.  Check with your carrier for their specific policy.

The overhead bin space is SHARED with every other passenger on the plane.  There is no imaginary boundary line where your bag HAS to go in the bin directly above your seat or across the aisle from your row.  Most airlines will not allow economy passengers to stow bags in business or first class overhead bins unless all passengers in those premium cabins have been accommodated.  Crew members have been known to remove bags that are stowed in these cabins by ‘entitled’ passengers who stow their bags over the first row they come to, and then proceed to the aft section of the plane.  Don’t risk it…stow those bags at or near your seating area when boarding.

Not all aircraft have closet space.  Many airlines have either removed them from the cabins OR they have down-graded the equipment to regional jets that don’t have these amenities.  If you are insistent on bringing your large guitar case aboard, don’t be surprised if the airline has no extra room for it and requests that you gate check the item.  And as a courtesy to the crew, don’t assume that they can make accommodations for that large item, even if they do have closet space.  During the holidays, odd-sized items will fill these spaces quickly, and alternatives will be required if you board later in the process.

This may sound elementary, but think about WHAT you need from your carry-on bag and remove it before getting on the plane.  One of the most aggravating delays during boarding is a passenger who insists on getting into the aisle and reaching up for an item out of their stowed bags while other passengers are still trying to board.  It holds up the entire process and may delay your flight if multiple people begin to mimic your actions.

Another pointer I wish to disseminate is this: if you think you need to use the lavatory facilities when you get on the plane, better to use the restrooms in the terminal prior to boarding.  Trying to use lavatories during the boarding process, especially on a single-aisle aircraft or a regional jet can prove tricky and can cause undue delays during the boarding process.

Unless you are traveling in a premium cabin, most U.S. carriers no longer supply blankets, pillows or headphones.  Make sure that if you need these items while traveling that you pack them in your carry-ons.  Mothers, make sure you bring extra items for your children, including formula, baby food, snacks and diapers.  Most airlines use standard mini-stereo jacks for their in-flight entertainment systems.  Check with your carrier for further information.

Also keep in mind that most carriers don’t provide meals or snacks for free.  Depending on the length of your flight, there may only be a beverage service available.  If there is some snack or food service, most carriers now charge for these items in economy class and usually cash is no longer accepted.  Most will accept all major credit and debit cards for purchases.  Inquire in advance, or remember to make a food/beverage purchase in the airport prior to boarding.

********************

Those are just some quick tips for getting you underway with the least amount of headaches.  Follow these guidelines, and your trip will be easier and more relaxed.  If you have any tips, tricks or suggestions that you might add to these, feel free to share them!

Safe and happy travels!

[1] Chicago Tribune, Home—Airport Security Section, “TSA Gives Children a Break at Airport Security,” October 10, 2011, Jon Hilkevitch, http://bit.ly/udlPzi

[2] TSA.gov, For Travelers Section, “Traveling with Kids,” http://1.usa.gov/sGwnwg

[3] CNN.com, CNN Travel, “Program could shorten wait at airport security checkpoints,” CNN Wire Staff, October 4, 2011: http://bit.ly/rNUdoa

[4] GlobalEntry.gov, Trusted Traveler Network, http://bit.ly/sYeQMc

[5] See LuggageForward.com, http://bit.ly/u6cmOu.

I’m really scratching my head on this one.  I know that we can all be a little forgetful when we travel.  I have a mental checklist when I get ready to leave home for a trip that will put me in several airport terminals in the space of three or four days.  I usually travel with two bags: my roller-board suitcase and a compact duffel-tote bag.  With these two bags, I can pack up to six days’ worth of clothing and sundries to meet just about any situation.

I pack my own bags.  I don’t have hired help, or even my mother to help me out the door with all that I need.  So I am well aware of every item that I carry with me when I head for the airport.

Image courtesy of The Orange County Register

The public demand for airline travel has grown exponentially over the last 30 years.  This fact alone indicates that there will be a much larger swath of the public who will travel because it is cheaper than bus, car or rail.  It also most assuredly guarantees that among that plethora of people and personalities, there will be those who have no idea what they are doing, or those who will try anything to bend or break the rules when it comes to air travel.

Still, I find it disturbing that the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) continually discovers an interesting assortment of “contraband” in travelers’ luggage as they try to get through airport security lines across the country.  Their latest blog continues to reveal the items that are found around the system on a daily basis![1]  You’d be stunned to hear what exactly people are trying to bring aboard airplanes these days.  Here are a few recent highlights:

• In August of this year, a female passenger in Rochester, NY was detained at a TSA checkpoint when the screening agents thought they saw a knife concealed inside the woman’s cane.  It turned out to be a 19” double-sided sword![2] After questioning, she was allowed to continue on — minus the cane/sword, of course!
• An Egyptian man from Baltimore was arrested after a TSA screener found 13 knives concealed within the liner of his luggage.  The man, who has lived in the USA for seven years, claimed he was a knife collector, had just purchased the knives, and was booked on a flight to Minneapolis that day.  He faces a number of charges, including carrying a concealed dangerous weapon and interfering with airport security procedures.[3]
• A 22-year old man from Tennessee, on his way to Las Vegas, was slapped with federal misdemeanor charges for trying to bring knives, tactical and police batons, brass knuckles and four inert grenades in his tote bag.[4]

Image courtesy of TSA.gov

What puzzles me is that the two most common replies that TSA, ATF and the FBI get when questioning these folks is either “I didn’t know they were in my bags,” or “I forgot they were there.”  Seriously???

The truth of the matter is that in this day and age, after just recognizing the tenth anniversary of the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, why are these folks being given what appears to be a “pass” on these issues?  Misdemeanor charges?  Being questioned and then released with the banned items confiscated?  Am I sounding too alarmist here?

I work on an airplane.  It’s my job, and not only do I enjoy my work, but I have a reasonable expectation that I will get from one airport to the next without the need to call in the SWAT team simply because someone who left their wits back at the security checkpoint was lucky enough to slip one past the guardians!  And in one instance, they had help from an airline employee!!![5]

Personally, the logical part of my brain asks, “Where have these people been hiding?  Under what rock were they living?”  Unfortunately, as it IS the public we are dealing with here, I learned long ago that when it comes to the General Public, you’ll have to throw out logic just to get your mind wrapped around what these people were (or perhaps not) thinking when they got up that morning, knowing that they were going to the airport, needed to pack a bag or two for the journey, and would be subjected to an intensive search of their belongings at the security checkpoint!

The cynical side of me says that these people knew exactly what they were doing and were trying to circumvent the system to accommodate their own idea of civil freedoms.  I just can’t fathom how law enforcement can accept the “I didn’t know” excuse or the “I forgot it was there” defense.  Plato said “Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.”

As long as bad people continue trying, we’ll continue to need the security countermeasures that the TSA is continually trying to improve.

[1] The TSA Blog, “Sometimes The Airport Is Similar To A Gun And Knife Show,” Blogger Bob, September 28, 2011, http://bit.ly/oQYtUf

[2] Transportation Security Administration, TSA.gov, Media Room, “ROC Good Catch – Sword in Cane 8-23-11,” http://1.usa.gov/q3itSn

[3] The Baltimore Sun, Travel, “Man from Egypt held on BWI weapons charge,” Michael Dresser, July 14, 2011, http://bit.ly/qk098W

[4] TimesNews.net, Associated Press, “Screening finds grenades, knives, other weapons in luggage at Nashville airport; Tennessee man arrested,” January 8, 2011, http://bit.ly/q9ZjiY

[5] Thaindian.com, Newsportal-World, “Two people arrested on board U.S. Airways flight at Philadelphia International Airport,” BNO News, June 4, 2009, http://bit.ly/oIGyF5

Ok, what **IS** in the water these days!?  In the air?  In people’s daydreams?

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about two high profile cases involving celebrities misbehaving on airplanes.  Now it seems that the general public is trying to get into the act…

This morning, it was reported that a passenger on a Delta Air Lines flight from SLC to LAS threatened to slit another passenger’s throat with a knife over an argument regarding the armrest.  When other passengers noticed that the culprit reached into his bag several times, and removed something as it was cupped in his hands, the flight attendants were notified and the SLC Police moved in, removed him from the flight, and after a search of the contents of his bag, discovered a 3 1/2 inch folding knife.  He then proceeded to threaten the FBI agent who had joined the investigation![1]

Last week, on a flight from Majorca to Newcastle, UK, a 26-year old passenger suddenly felt the urge to attempt at opening one of the emergency exits at 36,000 feet, causing the emergency lights to come on, flight attendants to begin shouting their emergency commands and creating a panic among the passengers aboard.  He had to be restrained with eight seat belt extensions before they diverted the flight to London’s Gatwick Airport.[2]

And, of course, there were several tense situations on September 11, 2011, with suspicious incidents being reported at several airports, including the removal of three passengers in handcuffs from a Frontier Airlines flight from San Diego to Detroit (a flight that was met by fighter jets and escorted until they landed safely) and the remaining 116 passengers being detained and questioned by the FBI.[3]

These are just the incidents that actually made the news.  I have heard from several colleagues that they were involved in other cases where passenger misbehavior or suspicious activity was reported, and authorities called to the airplane for further investigation.

As with my earlier entry about other crazy stunts being pulled on flights, it should come as no surprise that in-flight crews, pilots and customer service agents are still on “high-alert” as it were, from the recent 9/11 anniversary.  Still, whether or not that is relevant, the fact still remains that some people still don’t understand that a “higher standard” of behavior is still expected when traveling by air.  Most crews can discern between rudeness and suspicious, but for the most part, they cannot afford to take chances in allowing any incident to develop into something bigger or more serious, especially when hurling through the atmosphere at nearly the speed of sound.

At times, the general public forgets that dissatisfaction is better communicated through letters or phone calls to the airline, rather than escalating it in the air.  There are unintended consequences that might have to be faced should a tirade from a fed up traveler evolve into a higher level of emotion.  Believe me; it doesn’t take much to move from “frustrated” to “taking justice into one’s own hands.”

In a somewhat ‘tongue-in-cheek’ blog entry, world-renowned travel critic, Peter Greenberg conveyed five sure-fire ways to get kicked off a flight, including dropping ‘F-bombs’ towards your flight attendant, to trying to assault a Presidential candidate![4]  While some of it may seem humorous, this doesn’t even scratch the surface of other surefire methods of instant removal.

Several years ago, while working as a Purser from Los Angeles to New York City, I had the misfortune of dealing with a truly strange situation.

A female passenger approached me in the forward galley to inform me that a seemingly inebriated male passenger was making unwanted advances towards her.  While she conveyed the story to me, she was very quiet, barely whispering the details to me when she told me that when she finally told him to ‘get lost,’ her retorted by bragging to her that she needn’t worry since he had a ‘bomb’ in his bag!  Definite red flag!  For certain, a ‘yellow card’ penalty of the first degree!

We immediately contact airport security.  Our General Security Manager (GSM) arrived planeside and informed us that all passengers and their belongings, including all checked bags and cargo in the belly of the plane were going to be removed and rescreened.  Two FBI agents appeared at the airplane door, and we directed them to the culprit.

As he was being questioned by the agents onboard, while being handcuffed right there in front of the remaining passengers on board, he exclaimed that he had told the woman that he had a “BONG” in his bag.  The agents weren’t buying it.  He was escorted off, along with his traveling companion, who just happened to be his boss and the CEO of the company the suspect worked for.  I wonder if he was eligible for unemployment insurance under those circumstances???

The bottom-line is that there really IS an unwritten rule regarding behavior on board airplanes.  While the general quality of the public’s set of manners continues to deteriorate, at some point the limits have to be established.  Although Congress recently enacted the Airline Passengers’ Bill-of-Rights, that is certainly not a free pass for bad behavior on a plane.

It really boils down to patience, both from the passengers and the airline personnel that deals with the public.  But should you find yourself in a showdown on words and personalities with an airline employee, be very careful.  The majority of the time, you will end up with the ‘short straw’ in that contest, and the ramifications of removal from a flight may be too high a price for you to pay.

[1] KSL-TV News, KSL.com, Utah-Local News: “Airline passenger carried knife, threatened others, police say,” Dennis Romboy, September 21, 2011,  http://bit.ly/ohOOLY

[2] FoxNews.com, Europe-World: “Passenger Tries to Open Plane Door at 36,000 feet,” NewsCore, September 15, 2011, http://fxn.ws/ndy3fU

[3] The Detroit News, DetNews.com, Metro and State: “3 Passengers hauled off Frontier flight at Metro Airport,” Calvin Men & Mark Hicks, September 12, 2011, http://bit.ly/mRAXSz

[4] PeterGreenberg.com, “5 Ways To Get Kicked Off Flights,” June 17, 2011, http://bit.ly/njLe1o