Image courtesy Broadway Video & NBC

In my personal opinion, Alec Baldwin is a narcissistic blow hard.

There…I said it! And I make no apologies about that opinion.

I have been a casual fan of Baldwin’s work for years. I have enjoyed some of the things he’s done; others, not so much. In the grand scheme of things, I (and I believe all of us) need to remember one important distinction: he’s an actor! He’s not a rocket scientist, nor an important political leader, nor a distinguished medical expert. In the grand scheme of things, he hasn’t done anything that I would consider to be of great value to the sustenance or betterment of the human race.

I am a flight attendant. I have no delusions of grandeur when it comes to my place in society, nor my importance to the public. I do know my place and I understand the responsibilities that my job requires of me. First and foremost, I am a safety professional on board an aircraft. My authority as such stands directly beneath the Captain’s authority aboard the aircraft I am flying on. Since the Captain cannot attend to the activities behind him and the cockpit door, the onus of keeping order and peace falls upon the shoulders of the flight attendants.

In this day and age, the public has become more and more callous towards the flight attendant profession. While the majority of our time is spent smiling, assisting and serving beverages and meals, in the public’s mind, flight attendants are nothing more than the stewardesses they see on the ABC series ‘Pan Am,’ or the ditzy bimbos portrayed in movies like “A View from the Top.” They understand less and less about our primary function – to protect the safety of the plane and the passengers aboard it. During emergencies, it is the flight attendants who coordinate, organize and take charge of evacuations, medical emergencies and other disruptions. Our job is to maintain order. Chaos on board a flight is unacceptable and rarely tolerated.

When things get out of hand at 35,000 feet, because the cockpit door must remain closed and secure in-flight, the highest level of authority (with direction from the Captain) comes from the flight attendants. So physical and verbal abuse is taken at face value and dealt with severely on the ground when the airplane arrives at the airport. Any passenger who cannot control their actions aboard a flight faces real, severe penalties in the form of charges of interfering with a flight crew or a flight attendant, as set forth in Title 49 of the United States Code: “The statute applies to any “individual on an aircraft in the special aircraft jurisdiction of the United States who, by assaulting or intimidating a flight crew member or flight attendant of the aircraft, interferes with the performance of the duties of the member or attendant or lessens the ability of the member or attendant to perform those duties.” The statute provides for up to 20 years imprisonment, and further provides for imprisonment for any term of years or life if a dangerous weapon is used. Interference with a flight crew member or attendant is a general intent crime, and does not require a specific intent either to intimidate the flight crew member or attendant or to interfere with the performance of his or her duties.” [1]

Although this incident with Baldwin took place while the aircraft was on the ground, at the gate, the statute still applies. In this case, it has been argued publically that the flight attendant overreacted and that the penalty was too severe for the “crime” Baldwin was accused of. I disagree.

Flight attendants, in general, have a gauge by which we determine a passenger’s level of cooperation. If, while at the gate or on the ground, a passenger is unwilling to comply with a request or direct order from a crew member there, chances are pretty strong that they’d be as unwilling to comply at 35,000 feet, when things are more critical, and access to assistance from law enforcement is minimal, at best.

The fact that Baldwin continues to belittle the flight attendant and minimize his infraction on Twitter and on Saturday Night Live, thus stirring up public resentment toward flight attendants in general is unconscionable. Baldwin is no expert authority on air safety rules and regulations.

So why does the public continue to entertain his tirade? Because in today’s world, we have elevated celebrities to a level that somehow equates to leaders or experts or gurus. We look up to them…people who should be respected, admired and their opinions should carry more weight than the average “Joe.” They have become the equivalent of royalty and we treat them as such. We give them a pass on most everything, from drug abuse and infidelity to even more insidious and serious crimes.

This issue is far from over. The more conditioned the public becomes in disrespecting the direction of flight attendants on board aircraft, the less able we flight attendants will be able to maintain order during flight.

I believe it is time for the FAA and the airlines in general, to step up and clarify to the public the necessity to heed the authority of flight crews while flying. I applaud American Airlines’ decision to publicy defend and uphold the crew members who were involved in this case, and to rebuke and reject Baldwin’s behavior. But most of the time, airline companies more often than not become apologetic and simply reward bad behavior by accomodating the offending party with another flight, upgrades or additional mileage in their accounts. I’ve seen it happen. Thus the public gets the notion that if they act up when they don’t get their way, their perception is that they will get rewarded. This sort of compensation for their lack of cooperation must end.

Until then, there will continue to be more and more public incidents of celebrities and non-celebrities alike being removed from flights for disruptive behavior and the media will continue to make a spectacle of it all. It’s not acceptable, and the public should be outraged at the actor, not the safety professional trying to do their job!

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[1] United States Attorney’s Manual, U.S. Code, Title 49, Section 9-63.110, http://1.usa.gov/sP1XMk, revised August 1999.

It’s beginning to look a lot like…wait!  Stop!  Not yet! It CAN’T be that time of year already…

That’s what you try to tell yourself as the hair on the nape of your neck starts to rise.  That knot in the pit of your stomach starts churning and you’re already wishing it was January 2^nd!

Anyone who has had the “pleasure” of traveling during the holidays can empathize with those feelings.  But with a little preparation and education, not only can it be survivable, but you can actually save a few years on your life with the reduction of stress that you will feel if you are properly equipped with the right knowledge

So let’s start with the basics:

Buying Your Ticket

If you haven’t purchased your airline tickets by now, the pickin’s are getting pretty sparse.  With the tremendous increases in jet fuel over the past 13 months, and the lack of a bounce back for most people in this economy, the airlines have been doing all they can to reduce their losses by tightening up available seats, especially domestically in the U.S.

All is not in vain, however.  There are many sources one can utilize to find last minute deals and teaser fares put out by various airlines.  If you are reading this blog/article, you are probably tech-savvy enough to use these tools to getting a great deal on airfares.  Two places that come to mind rather quickly are through Twitter and Facebook.  All the major airlines in the US and abroad have active Twitter streams and “breaking news” about these special deals are usually “tweeted.”  Check out @JetBlueCheeps and @BoardingArea, among others.  If you are on Facebook, make sure to look up the major airlines and “like” their pages to get notifications on special air fare sales.

If you are particular about where to sit on the plane, you should be familiar with how seats are laid-out and numbered on your particular flight(s) and in the cabin of choice you book.  SeatGuru.com is an excellent resource to reference when booking your travel.

Keep in mind that although you have a confirmed seat, your seat assignment is not always guaranteed.  There are a few factors that may affect your seat assignment, such as cancellations, or more frequently aircraft configuration substitutions.  The gate agents will do their best to accommodate you, but be advised that their ability to match what you originally booked may be quite impossible.  If you are travelling with a group or family and this happens to you, it may be a little more difficult to accommodate, so ask the crew onboard for assistance if the agents are unable to help.  Many crew members will do their best to help get this squared away, but again, be patient and let them do their jobs.

Also, remember that every airline has a “zero-hour” timeline (check with your specific carrier) and checking in for your flight after that deadline can result in your seat assignment being forfeited…and if you are running really late, you may end up losing your confirmation on that flight altogether, which means going “stand-by” on the next available flight (next “available” doesn’t always mean the next flight – it could literally mean the next flight(s) that have seats available to accommodate you on.  Also, keep in mind that the airlines have a ranking system for stand-bys which place those needing accommodation on the list based on price paid for the ticket, mileage status, etc.  It is rarely “first come-first served.”

Arriving at the Airport

Airports during the holidays are usually chaotic at best.  The better prepared you are before getting to the airport the smoother things will go for you.

I will make one disclaimer here:  The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) has the right to search any bag and conduct a personal pat-down search of any passenger wanting to gain entry into the secured zones of the airport, regardless of mileage status or job title.  Even crew members are subject to this rule.  However, the TSA has begun to make a few significant changes to make things easier for most travelers.

First off, they have relaxed the rules for children 12 and under with regards to security screening.  Kids can now go through the scanners without the need to remove their shoes.[1]  13 and older will still be required to remove their shoes before going through the scanners, for now.   TSA is currently testing equipment that will automatically scan shoes as a passenger passes through the scanners, but those are not ready for use during this year’s holiday madness.  The TSA does provide an excellent resource regarding the screening process at the airport with kids, including instructional videos and links to other important and pertinent information you may find helpful (you’ll find the reference for the site at the bottom of this article.[2]

If you are bringing a jacket with you, including suit coats, windbreakers and sweaters, you will be asked to remove them and place them in a separate container on the scanner belt.  All shoes and boots must be removed and scanned separately as well.  Larger metal jewelry and belt buckles tend to set off the alarms; be proactive while you are in line and remove these items from your person in advance so you are ready to go when you approach the belt.  It will help move things along much quicker and the folks behind you will appreciate your consideration too!

Remember that TSA still limits liquids, aerosols and gels to 3 oz. travel containers, and the entire amount of these items must fit in a single QUART-sized Ziploc™ container.  Partially filled containers of a larger size (more than 3 fl.oz.) are not allowed and WILL be confiscated by the TSA at the checkpoint.  So refrain from bringing your $200/bottle perfume that you’ve had for years in that 4.5 oz. bottle!  They WILL take it!

ALL laptop computers and large electronic devices are subject to special screening and must be scanned separately from all other carry-ons.  Laptops contained in those handy neoprene slipcovers may be left in them, so long as there are no other items (like papers, writing utensils or power cords) contained in them at the same time.  If you DO put other items in those pouches, remove them prior to placing it through the scanners.

Travelers with pace makers, artificial limbs, and internal metal medical devices (metal plates, joint replacements, etc.) should notify a TSA agent prior to entering the scanner.  They can usually take you to a side area and conduct a special screening for your case.

For those of you who virtually LIVE on an airplane, the TSA has implemented its “Trusted Traveler” program, in cooperation with Customs and Border Protection (known formally as “TSA Pre-Check”).[3]  Currently, only American and Delta Airlines are part of the pilot program, however, anyone can apply for the program by simply filling out the application at the Global Entry website[4] and pay the non-refundable $100 fee (this covers the extensive background check and interview each applicant is required to go through).  There was no current information regarding turnaround time for acceptance in this program, but successful applicants are allowed expedited access through security checkpoints, and are allowed to keep shoes and light jackets and sweaters on, keep belts on, go through a fast-track security line, and are able to keep their “3-1-1” compliant liquids and gels inside their carry-on bags when they are screened at the checkpoints.

No matter which airline you fly on in the USA, the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has recently limited ALL passengers to ONE (1) piece of luggage, and ONE (1) personal item, including a purse or briefcase – that’s only TWO items, not three as used to be the case.  The airlines are required by FAA to monitor this and can, at any time, require you to check your bag(s) to your final destination.  Most airlines are now charging to check bags ahead of time (some will give you a discount on this fee if you do it online prior to coming to the airport).  Also, check into the airlines’ frequent flier programs as many will allow you one free checked bag with either their mileage program or by applying for and getting their frequent flier credit card.

Checking Luggage

Most people dread the thought of checking their luggage with the airlines for fear it will be lost, misdirected, ransacked or damaged in the process.  While these things do happen on occasion, the airlines have actually made great improvements and strides to keep your luggage with you at every step of your journey.  Many of the major airlines now have your luggage scanned at every leg of the process with specialized barcodes on each bag that are tied directly to your ticket and can be traced quite efficiently.

When and if it does happen that your bag doesn’t arrive at your destination, it is important that you have the right information to give the airlines to help locate that stray bag.

One of the simplest things you can do is to have your name, address and contact phone number attached to the bag outside, and a duplicate of the information located in a prominently placed location inside the bag.  I would also suggest placing a copy of your travel itinerary inside your bag along with your personal contact information.  That way if your bag ends up in Portland, Oregon instead of Portland, Maine, the baggage agents can get your belongings to you that much quicker.

You might want to consider a luggage concierge service to handle the bags for you.  These services have special rates with companies like FedEx and UPS to get your bags to you.  If you are going to pay a fee for your bags anyhow, why not try one of these door-to-door services instead?  One example is LuggageForward.com.  You can track your bags via their website for free and you will know exactly where it is and when it will be delivered.[5]

On the Plane

Everybody is in a rush to get where they are going with the least amount of angst or delay.  Civility is rare to find under these circumstances and people’s tempers can be ‘hair-triggers’ these days.  Most airlines offer pre-boarding as a courtesy to its disabled and/or frail passengers.  Not every airline, however, offers pre-boarding for families with small children.  Check with your carrier for their specific policy.

The overhead bin space is SHARED with every other passenger on the plane.  There is no imaginary boundary line where your bag HAS to go in the bin directly above your seat or across the aisle from your row.  Most airlines will not allow economy passengers to stow bags in business or first class overhead bins unless all passengers in those premium cabins have been accommodated.  Crew members have been known to remove bags that are stowed in these cabins by ‘entitled’ passengers who stow their bags over the first row they come to, and then proceed to the aft section of the plane.  Don’t risk it…stow those bags at or near your seating area when boarding.

Not all aircraft have closet space.  Many airlines have either removed them from the cabins OR they have down-graded the equipment to regional jets that don’t have these amenities.  If you are insistent on bringing your large guitar case aboard, don’t be surprised if the airline has no extra room for it and requests that you gate check the item.  And as a courtesy to the crew, don’t assume that they can make accommodations for that large item, even if they do have closet space.  During the holidays, odd-sized items will fill these spaces quickly, and alternatives will be required if you board later in the process.

This may sound elementary, but think about WHAT you need from your carry-on bag and remove it before getting on the plane.  One of the most aggravating delays during boarding is a passenger who insists on getting into the aisle and reaching up for an item out of their stowed bags while other passengers are still trying to board.  It holds up the entire process and may delay your flight if multiple people begin to mimic your actions.

Another pointer I wish to disseminate is this: if you think you need to use the lavatory facilities when you get on the plane, better to use the restrooms in the terminal prior to boarding.  Trying to use lavatories during the boarding process, especially on a single-aisle aircraft or a regional jet can prove tricky and can cause undue delays during the boarding process.

Unless you are traveling in a premium cabin, most U.S. carriers no longer supply blankets, pillows or headphones.  Make sure that if you need these items while traveling that you pack them in your carry-ons.  Mothers, make sure you bring extra items for your children, including formula, baby food, snacks and diapers.  Most airlines use standard mini-stereo jacks for their in-flight entertainment systems.  Check with your carrier for further information.

Also keep in mind that most carriers don’t provide meals or snacks for free.  Depending on the length of your flight, there may only be a beverage service available.  If there is some snack or food service, most carriers now charge for these items in economy class and usually cash is no longer accepted.  Most will accept all major credit and debit cards for purchases.  Inquire in advance, or remember to make a food/beverage purchase in the airport prior to boarding.

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Those are just some quick tips for getting you underway with the least amount of headaches.  Follow these guidelines, and your trip will be easier and more relaxed.  If you have any tips, tricks or suggestions that you might add to these, feel free to share them!

Safe and happy travels!

[1] Chicago Tribune, Home—Airport Security Section, “TSA Gives Children a Break at Airport Security,” October 10, 2011, Jon Hilkevitch, http://bit.ly/udlPzi

[2] TSA.gov, For Travelers Section, “Traveling with Kids,” http://1.usa.gov/sGwnwg

[3] CNN.com, CNN Travel, “Program could shorten wait at airport security checkpoints,” CNN Wire Staff, October 4, 2011: http://bit.ly/rNUdoa

[4] GlobalEntry.gov, Trusted Traveler Network, http://bit.ly/sYeQMc

[5] See LuggageForward.com, http://bit.ly/u6cmOu.

This blogging phenomenon is pretty damn cool!

Just give people a forum to express themselves and you’ll find that there is a whole new world of…well, for lack of a better word, entertainment out there. And I don’t use the word to belittle or besmirch (hehe—THERE’S a $3 word for ya!) those that take the time out of their day to put thought to the virtual page. In a way, it sort of validates who we are as an individual and I’m finding it so very liberating.

Of course, there is a lot of pure rubbish out there too. Some people are truly out of their minds with the stuff they fill the internet with. Cyber-trash. I suppose it’s no different than surfing the almost 200+ channels of satellite television just to return to the same 5 or 6 channels that I used to watch when I only had 20 or 30 to choose from in the first place. I’m sure it’s very easy to get caught up in it all too.

When I was first made aware of MySpace, I thought “Wow! That is such a cool idea!” A place where I can literally make my own site, fill it with all kinds of decorations and goodies and things, but mostly just junk! I made some new friends there, I learned about old friends there and I reconnected with people I hadn’t even THOUGHT about in years—maybe even decades—there.

Then people started talking about Facebook. It was a more simplistic device; it had a more intuitive ability to connect the people, places, events and hobbies together, but in a form characteristic of CNN’s Headline News rather than The Situation Room. And jumping into the fray, I too, connected with more people, my family, my long-ago friends, my newly-met friends and people with similar interests.

Somewhere in the past year, though, it has evolved into something a little more like banner ads and pop-ups on the web, rather than real information I cared about. Who gives a rat’s ass that Susie planted a new virtual flower in her new virtual flowerpot in “Gardenville” or that Rickie became a level 59 vampire in the continuing saga of “Sucker Wars!” I mean, come on people!

That’s not to say that I am not guilty—I am, but I have become ever sorrier that I am these days. I still use the old Facebook (I even advertise my blog on it, to the chagrin of probably everybody I know there, but whaddyagonnadooo?

Don’t really know why Twitter is gangbusters at the moment. To me it is a twisted combination of cell phone texting and the old “ticker-tape” stock quotation machines…and everybody is just keeping close tabs on Ashton Kutcher’s every move…like he’d have any idea who any of the over one million Twits he boasts are following his every move, hanging on his every word. As my friend Michele would say: Really? (Insert a huge dose of sarcasm to that “Really” and you’d know what I am talking about!)

I’m not sure I am smart enough to answer that question to any degree of accuracy or expertise. But I think that we, as a society, may be evolving into a new species. Technology has forever altered not only what we say and when we say it, but also how we express it, where it gets heard…and interestingly, we have no idea who is “hearing us.”

Some of us place our hearts on our sleeves and expose our inner selves for the entirety of humanity to ingest, unaware of any unintended consequences that might result of it. Others have really nothing at all to say—they just want to be heard and will say anything to accomplish it. Still others try to educate; to contribute to the ever-expanding human consciousness and knowledge of pretty much every subject imaginable. It boggles the mind because it truly is the absolute definition of the human species—to create and be creative.

Imagine what our lives would be like if no one imagined anything new…!

So why do I blog? It’s a pretty basic premise for me. This is where people will truly learn who I am. While I may post moronic, sophomoric rubbish from time to time—that’s me (I get this from my family—if you ONLY knew!)—this is where I can create, dream, relish, long, hope, cherish, despise, abhor, admonish—this is where I can be real, and therefore validated.

I blog…therefore, I think I might just really be!