Unless the International Olympic Committee acts fast and makes heaving overweight carry-on bags into overhead airplane bins an official Olympic sport, my chances of visiting Beijing this summer are nil.

But if committee members do finally come to their senses, I’m ready to go. I’ve been practicing my technique on plane trips with multiple connections. And I’ve been prepping for free time in Beijing by gathering advice on how to be a well-mannered traveler in China.

Find out what I learned about spitting, squat toilets, staying safe, and slurping soup in China in this week’s Well Mannered Traveler column on MSNBC.com.

(Column illustration by the very talented Duane Hoffmann / msnbc.com)