Things in the Sky

I have to thank my friend Kyle for sending this over to me. Every now and then, bloggers have just hilariously-written travel stories. In this case, the author was flying United, and the airline lost his bag. Now, the author did make the experience harder for himself as he left his car keys in said lost luggage, but some of the writing is just hilarious. For example:

…I wait hopelessly by the phone like a girl who puts out on the first date, for that call from United that will never come (traveler’s tip #438: when they try to take your roll-on bag at the ramp, go ahead and dump it in the trash can, because destroying the contents yourself at least preserves a modicum of dignity).

The author compares his experience to parenting, and notes that yelling at his children isn’t always effective, but providing incentives can work very well:

So how about this with the airlines. Instead of paying them the full amount right up front, we pay them 90 percent of the fare. The remaining 10 percent comes due once we have all our belongings in hand. I wonder if then it will occur to someone at United to start using those little sticky bar codes to track luggage, the way UPS tracks boxes. Or give ground crews bonuses based on luggage successfully delivered. Or, who knows, to simply start acting like they care when they lose a man’s luggage.

The idea about paying part of the fare, while unpractical, is both interesting and funny. But this story does make me think of bag fees. These have been added with no benefit to the customer. At all. My logic is that if the airline is going to charge $15 for the bag, it should get there on time. At least Alaska has added on “perk” to their fee by offering a voucher or miles if the bag doesn’t arrive promptly.