Things in the Sky

I’m currently on vacation, but I’ve asked a few friends of mine to write some guest posts for while I’m gone. Today, I have a post from Jeffrey Ward of Savvy Navigator.

With Dan heading to foreign shores for his long-overdue holiday, I’m pleased that he asked me to pen some musings about my own experiences as an airline geek and how this passion is still very present in my life – just as it was over 30 years ago when I was a make-believe-airline-creating child in a small Texas town, desperate to hop onto a jet and fly anywhere that was far away from the Lone Star State.

This month marks a significant milestone in my airline travels, in that I’m making my first roundtrip, South Atlantic crossing between South America and Africa. Over the years, I’ve crossed numerous times between North America and Europe, and unless I consult my flight log database, I’m unsure how many times I’ve actually crossed the North Atlantic.

Back in 2000, I was lucky enough to cross from Europe to South America on a BA 747-400 with a LGW-GIG-GRU routing. And in 2007, an SAA JNB-IAD trip on another A-340-600 filled in the “Northwest to Southeast” gap for me.

I’ve also made numerous Europe to Arica trips, so until this month, the only Atlantic crossing that eluded me was the coveted Southern routing.

This month, I did it! As I type this blog entry, I am on board SA222, an A-340-600 (ZS-SND), en-route from Johannesburg (JNB) to Sao Paolo (GRU), where I will connect on to JJ8004, TAM’s A-320 service to Buenos Aires (EZE). Our flying time on the Atlantic today is 9:58, and, sadly, I’m seated in the main cabin. The flight, however, is only about 2/3 full, so I have a window seat with an empty seat next to me. Two weeks ago, I arrived in Africa (JNB) from Buenos Aires, also on SAA in economy, but on a virtually-empty A-340-200, which afforded me 4 seats together for a poor-man’s-lie-flat experience.

I must admit that these flights don’t feel much different from similarly-timed US-Europe flights, but if I look around the cabin, I don’t see any Americans or Europeans. On this particular flight, it appears that most passengers are either African or Brazilian. And on the EZE-JNB flight, the passenger manifest consisted mostly of Argentine or Chilean football groups.

Now that this particular dream of mine is fulfilled, my friends and associates are asking, “What’s next, Jeff?” I’m pretty sure that next great crossing will be from Africa to Australia across the Indian Ocean (something like JNB-SYD), or it might even be a full Southern-Hemisphere circumnavigation, which will nicely complement my prior Northern routings.

But, for now, I’ll just bask in glory of my self-imposed, Savvy Navigator of the Southern Cross(ing) title!

Jeffrey Ward is a lifelong airline geek, former AAirline executive, and now the owner of Savvy Navigator Tours LLC, a leading provider of luxurious, experiential journeys for the gay traveler.

I’m currently on vacation, but I’ve asked a few friends of mine to write some guest posts for while I’m gone. Fellow BoardingArea blogger Steven Frischling, who pens Flying With Fish, is the author of today’s post.

While Dan Webb is away…Fish has been asked to come over and play! Since Dan is out on the open waters, sailing in at least one of the seven seas…possibly in Bermuda Triangle while discussing airlines with fellow Boarding Area blogger Marshall Jackson, I figured I’d bring some humour over to Things In The Sky.

‘Airline geeks’ tend to speak in a foreign language of terminology that is unique to those who are involved in the industry and those who follow the industry. Like any other industry there are common terms that make sense to those involved and confuse those who are not involved.

At times using jargon/slang/geek talk, can get you into some trouble when among those who have no idea what you’re talking about. As such I’d like to discuss a few funny moment I have encountered during my travels while conversing with ‘airline geeks’…and being overheard by those who are not
‘airline geeks.’

#1 DFS is short for a Transportation Security Administration “Dual Function Screener.”

…a few months ago I was standing in the TSA security line at Baltimore- Washington International Airport (BWI) and chatting with another frequent flyer about the TSA. As we approached the security screening area there were two “DFS” agents, in jump suits, checking IDs and boarding passes. The other frequent flyer turned to me and said, “They must be short handed, they have DFSs out.” One of the TSA DFS agents heard this and loudly shouted back “We are not ‘Doofuses,’ we are trained professionals here for your protection.”

I don’t think either of us kept a straight face as we made out way through security. Neither of us had insulted the TSA agents, or made any negative comment regarding their professionalism, in fact the TSA DFSs were very polite and professional…they did however clearly misunderstand what were
discussing.

#2 FAM/FAMS is short for Federal Air Marshal or Federal Air Marshal Service.

…Last summer while waiting for a flight at Washington DC’s Reagan National Airport (DCA) I was chatting with a TV photographer while waiting for a flight up to Philadelphia (PHL). In part we were discussing Federal Air Marshals and how they can often be easy to spot if you know what to
look for. As boarding was starting for another flight we watched two FAMs walk up to the gate and board well ahead of the other passengers, often an easy give away to who is a FAM on a flight. While watching this the TV photographer remarked “I hate flying with FAMs they take my upgrades.”

With that comment, a women seated behind us turned and glared us, then sternly wanted to know why flying with ‘families’ would affect anyone’s upgrade.

#3 FFP is a common abbreviation for ‘Frequent Flyer Program”

…in a very bizarre moment last month in the Air France l’Espace Arrivals Lounge at Paris’ Charles de Gaulle International Airport (CDG) I was speaking with a woman I had met on a flight from New York’s JFK (JFK) over to CDG and we were discussing the new combined Delta Airlines & Northwest Airlines frequent flyer program while eating breakfast. At some point one of us used the term “FFP” very clearly. The term “FFP,” normally not misunderstood, or paid attention to, caught the ear of a man who was
clearly Russian by his accent. This Russian traveller’s head sprang up, he muttered something about the ‘FSB’ very clearly to whomever he was chatting with on his mobile phone, he grabbed his bags and quickly exited the lounge.

For those of you not familiar with the term “FSB” it is the abbreviation for the Russian Federal Security Service…also known as the ‘secret police’…also known as the successor to the KGB.

I’d LOVE to know the back story on that passenger!

#4 Three-Holer is a slang comment for an MD-11, DC-10, L1011, 727, all planes with three engines…or three holes. It is oddly enough an endearing term for these aircraft.

…I saved the best (worst?) for last…a few weeks ago I was standing in Amsterdam’s Schiphol International Airport (AMS) watching the last flight of the night push off the gate. The last flight is an MD-11, or ‘three holer.’ Since AMS is known for having more plane spotters per square inch than almost any other airport, except possibly Hong Kong (HKG), I was not surprised to be in a conversation regarding my personal enjoyment of watching ‘three-holers’ at the airport.

As the KLM MD-11 was fully pushed back from the gate and being towed down the alley way this fellow flyer and airline enthusiast and I both chatted about our enjoyment of watching the planes come and go at AMS, our favourite places to sit and watch the planes at AMS and how we’ll miss the MD-11s when they are finally removed from service.

As the MD-11 taxied away from view I commented simply “I love watching three holers move.”

With that comment a woman who was walking by the two of us turned around and quickly shouted to us that were “perverts and we should be ashamed!”

So next time you take your ‘airline geekiness’ on the road maybe you should just keep your comments to yourself.

Happy Flying!

Steven Frischling
Flying With Fish
Blog: www.flyingwithfish.com
Mail: fish@flyingwithfish.com
Twit: www.twitter.com/flyingwithfish

I’m currently on vacation, but I’ve asked a few friends of mine to write some guest posts for while I’m gone. Fellow BoardingArea blogger Marshall Jackson, who is actually sailing on the Liberty of the Seas with me, is the author of today’s post.

On September 15, 1985, I took to the skies in a Piper Cherokee (N1696T) for the first time.  I was 15 years old, and for the better part of my natural life leading up to that flight, I had one goal in mind: to become an airline pilot.  Seriously, I lived and breathed flying and being a pilot.  I soloed at age 16, got my private license at 17 and my Commercial, Multi-Engine, and Instrument Ratings at 19.  By the time my flying career was cut short by Type 1 Diabetes, I’d amassed a few thousand hours and was working as a Saab 340 First Officer for a regional airline.  I was 25 years old, and for the first time in a long time, I was no longer sure what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I spent the next several years in various management positions at the regional and major airline parent company before moving on to something a bit more stable.

One thing I learned after my premature “grounding” was that it really takes a team effort to make something as complicated as an airline tick.  Airlines need motivated and innovative employees that are smart, and capable of thinking on their feet.  And they need those types of employees in every facet of the operation, not just the cockpit.  The day I left my airline, I’d never worked for another employer post college.  I loved the airline business and its inherent challenges.  Everyday was something different, and when I finally went home at night, it was always with a sense that I had accomplished something.  I survived 9/11 layoffs, union squabbles, “restructuring agreements,” and all manner of other challenges without a scratch, but still, I left.  And I wasn’t the last one.  For sure, airline employment has fallen as capacity has been ratcheted down, but I think there’s a bigger problem.  Airlines of all shapes and sizes are suffering from a talent drain of sorts.  To put it simply, good help is hard to find (and keep) when your recruiting brochure promises nothing but threats of paycuts, no retirement, and constant worry about losing your job.

The only airline that has been remotely successful at attracting and keeping people is Southwest.  Let’s face it, Southwest doesn’t fly everywhere, and we need more than one airline.  How will the others set things right again so they not just survive, but thrive?  I suppose I’d be the CEO of my former employer if I had the answer to that question, but I do have a few ideas.  The time has come for a paradigm shift in the domestic airline industry.  The first CEO to get this right will own the world, or at least a lot more market share.  The disgraceful wars between management and labor at many domestic airlines must come to an end.  Some management groups have set themselves up by taking large stock-based “bonuses” while their employees’ wages have been cut to levels of the 1990s.  And labor leaders are busy backing themselves into a corner by promising unattainable contracts without regard to whether they provide a product that will earn the revenue needed to pay them.  It will be a long flight back from the brink, but I am certain a few players in the industry we love will get there.  And when they do, hopefully this industry will finally reach a state of equilibrium that will make it an attractive place to work again.

I’m currently on vacation, but I’ve asked a few friends of mine to write some guest posts for while I’m gone. Today’s post comes from Martin Rottler.

My name is Martin Rottler, and I am soon becoming an endangered… one of those people with an unbridled passion for aviation, airlines and flying. It’s a sad fact of the way aviation and airlines are perceived today, especially amongst this country’s future generations: high school students. This is so much so, that an annual career interest inventory survey of high school students lists interest in aviation and flight careers at a nearly all-time low. According to the FAA’s industry forecasts, the number of certificated pilots in the US is expected to drop over the next few years. Why is this the case? What happened to the glamour, the fun, and the wonder of flight?

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been obsessed with the world of aviation and flying. It’s been a fun and slightly strange obsession—7th birthday party at the now-demolished Stapleton International Airport in Denver (including a full tour for the entire cadre of 5, 6 and 7 year olds of a Continental Airlines 737…those were the days!), first time flying a small airplane on the day after my 11th birthday, deciding to attend an Aerospace camp at the University of North Dakota not once, but twice, and soloing a Cessna 172 on the morning of my 16th birthday even before I picked up my driver’s license from the DMV.

I’m lucky—I was hooked on aviation and flying early thanks to the aforementioned intro flight as an 11 year old. A quote from my mom on that momentous day, caught on video perfectly sums up the significance of that fall morning: “Well…we’re either creating a monster…or burying one.” From that day on, the monster idea of one day earning my pilot’s license was all but cemented in my mind. Five years later, I soloed. A year and a half after that, my dream of being a Private Pilot came true. Two years after that, on a bitterly cold North Dakota day, I earned my Commercial Pilot certificate with instrument and multi-engine ratings at the University of North Dakota. The next year I would put those privileges to work as an intern for a major aircraft manufacturer.

I am an example of an introduction to aviation gone right. I’m sure many of you reading this blog today have similar stories and experiences. Think for a moment, however, about just how you got into the hobby or career. Was it the result of an educational program, or your own persistence and perseverance? Did it require supportive parents and colleagues, or were you mentored on your way through other means?

For the most part, we as aviation nerds, suck at bringing new people into our own ranks. We do strange things (mileage runs? flight simulators? aerobatics?); speak our own language; and spend most of our time talking amongst ourselves. Outside forces contribute to this downtrend in aviation nerd-dom. Degradation of airline service and pilot/crew pay has made young people realize that the once-glamorous job of airline pilot is history. The recent Colgan crash only highlighted the challenges regional airline pilots face. Increased (and in my opinion, often unneeded) security makes the travel experience tedious. Gone are the days when a parent could take their child to the airport to ride the trains and look at airplanes up-close at the gate (no joke—this was a fixture of elementary school for me here in Denver). Business aviation is under fire from the major media and the non-flying public who are ignorant to its benefits and just how far “biz av” reaches in the aviation spectrum. Aviation fuel costs have skyrocketed, making flight training more and more expensive, and as a result, inaccessible for many. A four year degree at a major aviation university will now set a student and their families back six figures, even at schools with reasonable tuition.

The obstacles facing potential aviation geeks today are many. What are those of us with aviation geek badges-of-honor doing to facilitate these virgin nerds into the world of aviation? I see one (unwritten) responsibility of my pilot’s license is to serve as an ambassador of aviation and flying to the public. During the aforementioned internship, I had the opportunity to provide 30 introductory flights to people from the community in which I worked. These were awesome opportunities to not only introduce the airplane in which I was lucky enough to fly, but to also plant the seeds of aerodynamics, airlines, and the licensing process in my passengers. I received several follow-up letters and e-mails from these passengers expressing a future interest in flying, especially amongst the younger passengers I had on board. I can attribute one flight to my own aviation monster creation, and it was my goal that I reciprocate the same experience for others. Here’s the only problem—aside from the EAA Young Eagles program, there are no widely established opportunities to provide an introduction to aviation. United Airlines used to open up their simulators in Denver to the community two days a year. After 9/11, this open house was cancelled. We need to be doing a better job as pilots, airlines, hobbyists and industry professionals at reaching out to our respective communities. Through formal and informal educational experiences, we can do a better job at enabling young people to experience the awesome world of aviation and flying. This can only be done with the efforts of the entire community. Invite someone to go flying with you; show them Microsoft Flight Simulator; drag them along spotting; make them experience a mileage run to Europe in one weekend. Sure—some people just aren’t interested in some of the crazy things we do. You’d be surprised at how many out there are.