As a Mets fan, I am disappointed that Delta is also the official airline of that “other team.” (Especially after that horrid subway series!) 
Archive for the 'Humor' Category
Sometimes, airline reporting is just hilarious. Take this line from a BBC report:
Dozens of holidaymakers returning to Newcastle refused to fly after they were asked to act as human ballast.
Scary! More details!
A jammed hold door meant luggage could only be loaded into the front of the Thomas Cook plane at Mallorca airport.
Passengers were asked to move seats to distribute the weight, but 71 left the plane, fearing for their safety.
Thomas Cook said it was standard procedure for airlines to ensure cargo and passengers were evenly distributed, and there was no safety risk.
I know I’m not the most frequent passenger, but isn’t moving passengers around for weight and balance a pretty common practice, especially on regional flights?
Oh well…
I have to thank my friend Kyle for sending this over to me. Every now and then, bloggers have just hilariously-written travel stories. In this case, the author was flying United, and the airline lost his bag. Now, the author did make the experience harder for himself as he left his car keys in said lost luggage, but some of the writing is just hilarious. For example:
…I wait hopelessly by the phone like a girl who puts out on the first date, for that call from United that will never come (traveler’s tip #438: when they try to take your roll-on bag at the ramp, go ahead and dump it in the trash can, because destroying the contents yourself at least preserves a modicum of dignity).
The author compares his experience to parenting, and notes that yelling at his children isn’t always effective, but providing incentives can work very well:
So how about this with the airlines. Instead of paying them the full amount right up front, we pay them 90 percent of the fare. The remaining 10 percent comes due once we have all our belongings in hand. I wonder if then it will occur to someone at United to start using those little sticky bar codes to track luggage, the way UPS tracks boxes. Or give ground crews bonuses based on luggage successfully delivered. Or, who knows, to simply start acting like they care when they lose a man’s luggage.
The idea about paying part of the fare, while unpractical, is both interesting and funny. But this story does make me think of bag fees. These have been added with no benefit to the customer. At all. My logic is that if the airline is going to charge $15 for the bag, it should get there on time. At least Alaska has added on “perk” to their fee by offering a voucher or miles if the bag doesn’t arrive promptly.
Fees have been a huge topic of discussion the past few months, and I found a great article on The Onion via Consumerist:
Cash-strapped American Airlines announced a new series of fees this week that will apply to all customers not currently flying, scheduled to fly, or even thinking about flying aboard the commercial carrier.
Arpey went on to note that some additional charges would also apply, including a $15 fee for every piece of luggage customers have inside their bedroom closet, and a one-time payment of $40 for any American whose name is Greg.
Hilarious, I think. Read the full article here.
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