December 18
Frankly, I just can’t take it anymore. I can’t listen to one more foreigner yell at someone because they think shouting will help the person understand them better, or mocking the way the locals speak or talking down to them because their English isn’t perfect. For as long as I can remember I have sat quietly, shaking my head, frown on my face, embarrassed by the ugly behavior of the foreigner. I’m not sure when I snapped exactly, but I just can’t sit quietly anymore.
It all started with the man in 1A. I could tell that the man in 1A wasn’t a frequent flyer and had probably travelled internationally few times, if at all. I’m not sure why, but I had made an assumption that people who fly in first class internationally are all either frequent flyers or well traveled individuals. Thank you, man in 1A, for clearing up that misconception. This was my annual frequent flyer mile redemption for an international first class trip; this flight was from LA to Seoul. Right off the bat I could see that the man in 1A was going to be trouble.
The man in 1A was apparently incredibly concerned about how he’d get his boarding pass for his connecting flight in Seoul. For whatever reason, the airline couldn’t print it out when he checked in. He was so concerned that he asked, over and over and over again about it. The very kind flight attended tried the best she could to explain that someone would meet the plane in Seoul to help him. Unsatisfied, he began shouting, as if she would suddenly understand what he was asking and provide some different answer. The flight manager came over and tried to assist. The man repeated himself, many times, and the flight manager kept telling him that when we landed, there would be someone to meet the plane with his ticket. To that, he replied over and over, I have my ticket, I need a boarding pass, can you understand me? He ended each sentence with ‘can you understand me.’ He became incredibly rude and downright insulting.
That was it. I couldn’t take it anymore. The man in 1A seemed shocked that I was speaking to him. I said “I’ll speak very slowly so you can understand me. When we land, there will be someone from the airline to meet you. Can you understand me so far?” I didn’t wait for an answer. “They will have a ticket for your connecting flight. They will escort you to your connecting flight. Can you understand me?” All he said was “but I need a boarding pass.” I said, “Well, either the ticket they have for you will be a boarding pass, or it will be enough to get you to your gate where I’m sure you can get a boarding pass.” He didn’t speak again, for the rest of the flight.
Since then, I have noticed countless examples of rude behavior. While on vacation the last week in Malaysia and Thailand, I’ve found that vacationers seem to be ruder than your average traveler. Take the man at my current hotel whose traveling companion is about 20 years younger than him. The man, along with his ‘escort’ or ‘companion’ walked up to one of the desks in the hotel lobby and said the woman behind the desk, ‘are you the concierge?’ The woman obviously didn’t understand. He said ‘concierge’ over and over. Still, she didn’t understand. So instead of trying to explain what he wanted or asking in a different way, he shouted “does anyone working here speak English?” One of the managers walked over to help the man.
There was a couple at dinner last night who couldn’t understand the waiter. Instead of asking the waiter to speak more slowly or repeat himself, the couple actually laughed out loud and the man mimicked the waiters broken English. That did it for me, I couldn’t hold my tongue. I said to the couple, “Let me see if I can translate for you. He said, do you want mineral water or sparkling water.” The man said, “We want tap water.” Now I laughed. “No, no you don’t want tap water. You can’t drink the tap water here.” I just shook my head.
If you’re traveling on vacation, here’s something you should remember: you choose to come here. It was your choice to come to a country where English is not the primary language spoken. Be patient. Try to explain what you’re after in different ways. Be kind. If you’re traveling on business, keep in mind that the success or failure of your business in that country could be impacted by your ability to communicate, the effectiveness of your communication and your understanding of the local culture. Being rude just won’t help – in any situation.
So please, keep this quote in mind “rudeness is the weak mans imitation of strength” and leave the rudeness at home!
Oh my…you have just touched upon one of my own pet peeves about English speaking travelers….and it seems that Americans are among the worst. It reminds me of when I took a young former student to England and Ireland for her graduation present. It was her first trip abroad and she would constantly turn to me with comments on how if “these people over here could do things the way we do,” what a more wonderful place it would be. After a while I just had to whip around and say to her, ” this is THEIR country and this is the way they do things HERE!” And perhaps, I followed that with a little bit more of a lecture. At any rate, it seemed to have stuck. She has thanked me for that numerous times….and has continued her travels to include over 25 countries at this point.
You are right, it only takes a moment to try to understand someone who speaks a different language. Many times, they would even like or appreciate learning a little more English themselves. I have some super interactions with non-English speakers. There is no place for rudeness while traveling.
All you wrote are EXCELLENT points!!!!!!
Us English speaking people do not realize how lucky we are that the language of travel and tourism is Engkish.
I am at the end of my month long trip to Sri Lanka and after this month I know absolutely ZERO words of Singalese!
Keep up the good work of speaking up against rudeness.
I frequently hear people asking whether a price is in “their dollars or our dollars.” This is often accompanied with commentary on how expensive things must be for people in most foreign countries since it takes more of “their dollars” to buy things.
My heroine!
@Teck – thanks
@Todd – yes, that’s another very annoying thing.
@David – thanks. It has taken me over 5 trips to Thailand (which has meant about 8 months in total here) to learn just enough Thai to respond politely in Thai. I know about 5 phrases and 10 words. Now I’m learning numbers. That’s fun.
@Susan – I’ve started to see that Australians and Germans are about equally as rude as Americans. I’m sure there are other cultures/countries that have rude people, but I’ve run across way to much rudeness from Ozzies and Germans on this trip.
keep up the good fight!
thanks @Jettyboy!
Great post!!
Crossing a crowd of rude Englishmen on a stag weekend mocking the locals no fun either. From my experience, I find the English just as bad, if not more repulsive.
@Brian – the British humor can certainly be shocking to foreigners! Add rudeness and alcohol to the mix – that spells trouble!
@Ryan – thanks.
This is such a great piece, thanks for sharing. It reninds me of a trip I took many years ago with a tour group to the UK. We stopped at a small hotel in a rural area to overnight, at breakfast one morning one of our fellow Americans ordered a Diet Coke to drink. The waiter was apologetic and said they didn’t have any available, to which the loud angry response from the ugly American was ‘what kind of place is this – not having Diet Coke?’
My thinking is that if you want all the features and ameneties of home, sumply stay home!
I never read this blog because of the white over black layout. It is a burden on my eyes. Please change.
Wonderful piece. Wasn’t there just a little part of you that wanted to let them drink the tap water?
@John – yes, actually, there was a huge part of me that wanted to let them drink the water.
@David – thanks for your feedback. For now, I’m keeping the black & white, so I’ll understand if you can’t read the blog.
@BothofUs2 – thanks! Funny you mention Diet Coke…I’m sure you know many countries call it Coke Light (not Diet) and I’ve seen many people have melt downs over it!
I would have let them drink the tap water…
Very good post. I feel so sorry for people who travel without understanding that its greatest benefit is truly experiencing other cultures. The FIRST thing my husband and I do in another country is learn a few words of the language…at least to say good morning, thank you, etc. And we have had lots of fun letting the local people laugh with us as we mangle our own attempts…but they truly appreciate that we tried! And I do hope everyone who reads this remembers that the polite Americans or Germans or Aussies who travel can play a huge part in overcoming the image of the “ugly American.”
Funny that you don’t see the irony in complaining about rude foreigners and then you seem to butt into conversations that aren’t yours.
Kettle, what color is your blog?? (Hard to read too)
Sad but true. As someone who travels to US embassies and consulates for a living, I can say that I have seen this many times and in many countries – even with visiting Americans dealing with the staff at the embassy or consulate.
Keep fighting the good fight.
You go girl . I agree with you on every point.
Supremacy just because we speak the language but it is actually ignorance more than anything else.
Great posting.
Couldn’t agree more. If you go to Thailand, you better learn Thai. Why many Americans think every person in a foreign country should speak English?
VERY WELL SAID! People need to remember we are ambassadors for our country when we cross the boarders. We should act like gracious guests when in a foreign land. We are Guests in their homeland.
Amen. Not to say arrogance and disrespect are solely an American phenomenon, but I think because we are so geographically isolated from other countries outsides of Mexico and Canada and we also have this idea of “American exceptionalism” ingrained in us by our politicians, we tend to come off as really brash and rude when we travel abroad.
Kudos to you for calling people out for it. We must police our own.
Being in the hospitality industry myself, I’ve experienced this multiple times. Since we have to be professional, we cannot do anything about it unless the guests become a threat to our own personal safety.
For example, there was a case of guests throwing items at the FD agents due to long check-in times since systems were down.
thai farmer to tourist speaks thai to the tourist when he is going to drink from a stream, tourist does not understand and shouts at the thai to speak english. another thai comes along to see what the problem is.
first thai tells the second one the guy is going to drink from the stream the buffalos crap in.
the tourist still shouting to ask what is being said, the second thai says drink with both hands.
Isn’t one of the reasons of staying in foreign-owned chains when abroad that you’ll be guaranteed a comfortable experience fully in English?
I mean you could stay at locally-owned hotels for a fraction of the price…
@Cogswell – no, I don’t think the purpose of staying at a Chain is so that you’ll have a comfortable experience fully in English. The chains hire locals, the chains try to provide a local experience and provide you the local feel. You stay at a chain because you know the standards they have and you’ll know what to expect (type of rooms, amenities, etc…)
[...] at Very Good Points wrote an amazing post on the rudeness of travelers, particularly English-speaking [...]
I find lots of rude people in general. I wouldnt say US travelers are more rude than anyone else. I think its a bad generalization. Each country has its offenders (US having 330m people just has more by sheer number.
@MilageUpdate – I totally agree, there are many rude people in general. I don’t think I implied that US travelers are more rude, I’ve noticed that while there are rude Americans, there are many rude people from many counties. I think that Americans are generalized as more rude because as you say, there are more Americans, but I also think it has a lot to do with the Media. Look at the TV shows that foreigners see and how they portray Americans. Sad.
@Mickey – that’s a perfect analogy for the rudeness issue!
@Jimgotkp – i don’t think there’s any excuse for that type of behavior and it’s ridiculous that people feel like they can act that way and get away with it.
[...] Please, Don’t Be Rude [...]
VGP, I didnt mean to imply that you were saying US more than others were rude. I meant that on the whole I notice a lot of inconsiderate people.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. It’s been difficult for me to deal with this issue for years. Most of the time I don’t have trouble communicating with people but there are many time that people just don’t understand a word I was saying until my coworker has to rescue me & she is also not American but an European with her European accent. Of course, I was frustrated but can’t do anything about it.
Also, there are many time that people try to tell me to change my name to whatever they are familiar to which I’ve been refused to do so & keep using my name in the US for 8 years. I think next time someone tell me to change my name again I will agree & suggest a different name for him/her as well.