Wednesday Weirdness: I don’t wanna go to work

Posted on: February 29th, 2012 by: Martin J Cowling

There are some very drastic ways not to go to work.

On Sunday 12th February,a British Airways flight en route between  Tokyo and London with 150 passenegrs, a note  was reportedly found scrawled on one of the  toilet doors:  “The bomb on board will explode at 16.00 GMT unless our demands are met.”

Terrorist? Disgruntled passenger? Flight Attendant?

Well on touchdown, Flight attendant Mathew Davis was arrested when the Boeing 777 landed safely at Heathrow after its 10,000-kilomtre (7 000 mile) journey. His DNA,  mugshot and fingerprints were taken at the Heathrow Airport Police station. The next day  Davis of Crawley, West Sussex was charged with communicating a bomb threat. He appeared  at Uxbridge Magistrates’ Court yesterday.

Oh – and he was  suspended by British Airways.

 

 

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The Unsafe Tiger

Posted on: July 3rd, 2011 by: Martin J Cowling

I have been critical about the “budget” carrier Tiger Airways Australia which can be likened to a bus with wings as noted in my previous blog about them.

Seems the bus is not safe.

On Saturday July 2, 2011 Australia’s Civil Aviation Safety Authority (CASA) grounded Tiger after the airline’s planes twice breached lowest safe altitudes.

This grounding came after they had given the carrier a warning in March saying Tiger needed to “improve the proficiency of Tiger Airways Australia’s pilots, improvements to pilot training and checking processes, changes to fatigue management, improvements to maintenance control and ongoing airworthiness systems and ensuring appropriately qualified people fill management and operational positions.”

Tiger is rejecting any concerns they are unsafe (would nt you?) with CEO Tony Davis expressing regret over the decision (pictured right)

The grounding is a disaster for the airline which has not made money since setting up shop in Australia. The last grounding we had was of Ansett’s 767 fleet and that was one of then final straws for them.  Unlike Ansett, I won’t mourn Tiger but yet again we are going back to the two airline situation we have always had in Australia. The names have changed but the structure is similar. Qantas and Virgin instead of Qantas and Ansett or before that Trans Australia Airlines (TAA)  and Ansett-ANA or before that Ansett and Australia National Airways.

The difference is Qantas now has two segments of the market with its budget Jetstar subsidiary and the more corporate focussed mainline Qantas.

Some questions:
1. Will Tiger survive?
2. Virgin Australia continues to lose money-how long will they sustain that for?
3, Will Qantas hang onto its premium passengers or lose some to Virgin concerned at the Jetsar -isation of the mainline carrier?

As for me, I am taking the train to Adelaide next week.

Back to the 80s with Air NZ’s newest safety video

Posted on: April 24th, 2011 by: Martin J Cowling

Same words…very different costumes…in the last Air New Zealand air safety video, the crew were nude- in this one, they go”funky”.  Led by flamboyant American fitness personality Richard Simmons, the briefing introduces all of the usual safety features on a plane (ie no smoking, fasten seatbelts, brace positions, life jacket, luggage etc) as a series of “exercises” to be completed before flying. The instructions are delivered with lots of crazy costumes, boppy music and humourous gags.

The video available for viewing here. What do you think of it? Some thoughts from me:

I noticed a couple of the crew from the previous “nude” video bopping along in this one. Great to see they are still involved. Didnt spot Air NZ CEO this time. Anyone else see him?

My favourite line in the video is when notorious TV broadcaster Paul Henry is told to “stop broadcasting“. Watch and listen to his response. I started laughing!  Then see what happens next and what he does. Kiwis will get this immediately but non NZers may not understand the references.

I also wondered will I get sick of it if I see it multiple times a month.

And what will a macho NZ sheep farmer think of his national airline’s campiness?

Will the crew bop along to the video? I hope so…..I do look forward to my next Air NZ flight to find out!

For the making of the video check out here.

Bizarre air incident

Posted on: April 6th, 2011 by: Martin J Cowling

In what has to be a first for me. As I snoozed comfortably with my shoes off in my British Airways (BA 9 Bangkok to Sydney), a fellow passenger taking a short cut, trod on my foot.
I woke up swearing to excuciating pain.
The angle that my passenger must have stood on my foot caused it to bleed and on going pain!
Worst is, I am a runner.
BA staff very helpful.

Indian Fake Pilots

Posted on: March 9th, 2011 by: Martin J Cowling

Last month, the Directorate General of Civil Aviation revoked the licence of a pilot,  flying for IndiGo, after she caused damage to an Airbus A320 by landing the plane on the nose wheel instead of the rear wheels. She was found to have forged papers to get her airline transport pilot licence.

The DGCA then found two more pilots with forged qualifications flying passenger planes. 

Another reason, why I am nervous to fly in India. Give me Indian Railways every time!

Flying in the future

Posted on: January 27th, 2011 by: Martin J Cowling

Have a look at this amazing video from the now defunct Branriff International. They revealed their image of what  flying in the future would be like in the supersonic age.

Its quite fun.

There are some things that have happened but many that have not eg supersonic jet? electronic valet on board?

What was it with people in the 1960s -they didnt want to do any walking?

Did you see the onboard entertainment meant you could watch three films at once?

When you have that as context you wonder how much of this contemporary video from Lockeed about flying in the future will happen. Ah it sounds so wonderful;

  • non invasive biometric security- whatever that means?
  • runway incursion warning systems
  • instant flight path routing

etc etc

Didn’t say anything about what the seat and meal will be like? Even Lockheed have some limitations.

What do you think the future of flying will look like? For me, fewer airlines, more expensive tickets and a massive interest in non petroleum based fuels.

Happy Christmas Qantas- some things are not your fault.

Posted on: December 20th, 2010 by: Martin J Cowling

The 2010 Qantas Christmas card doesn’t show metres of snow or faulty engines.

Image: Copyright AP Photo/ Steve Parsons taken from Herald-Sun

Difficult job being in Qantas PR this year.

I do wish people would stop blaming them for the snow delays though. And think!

8 stranded jumbos. Thats 3200 people on them and at least 3200 people waiting for them. Every 24 hours they are delayed is another 6000-7000 people.

If they all called Qantas simultaneously and spend 5 minutes talking to an agent 70 000 minutes of calls or 10 000 hours -every 48 hours. You would need 500 agents all working 10 hour days just to deal with them. Thats assuming every one calls and that their calls only go for five minutes. All during Qantas busiest period yet.

So stuck in snow? No use blaming the airline. One can only trust that they are trying to get 6999 other people home too. Check your options but if the airports are closed, you are not going anywhere. Sorry!

Save your anger for the real things that Qantas is showing-like a crappy New Zealand-Australia offering, inconsistent service
and the downgrading of benefits for long term frequent fliers (thats tomorrows blog)

Police confirm dead teen fell out of plane

Posted on: December 12th, 2010 by: Martin J Cowling

The residents of Milton, Mssachusstes reported On November 15, 2010, reported hearing a loud “crashing noise” at around 9pm. The body of a 16 year old Delvonte Tisdale  was found lying in the street at 930pm. The boy was found with massive injuries so a hit and run was suspected. he had no shirt and no shoes

Authorities, however, could not explain how the boy had ended up so far from home and what had been done to him.  The boy had been seen in North Carolina where he lived, at 130am that day. He had been missing since 5am. 

It is now believed that the boy walked onto the tarmac at Charlotte/Douglas Airport, hid inside a 737 which took off at around 7pm and fell out of the plane as it lowered its wheels on its descent inbto Logan airport. The flightpath goes over Milton.

Interestingly, Tisdale was a member of the Air Force ROTC program at North Mecklenburg High School near Charlotte.

 Evidence for this argument includes:

  •  a handprint in the wheel wel of the plane 
  • Sneakers and a red shirt that matched the family’s description of what the teen was last seen wearing were found in Milton along the flight path
  • the autopsy report indicatied the teen fell “from a significant height.” He had no gun wounds

His father, said his son was happy but his brother was unhappy in North Carolina and had never wanted to leave Baltimore, where he had lived earlier.


Here is the video from a press conferece about the boy.


This is a sad story with obvious implications for airport security. RIP Delvonte.


You can’t yawn through this & it may save ya life!

Posted on: November 25th, 2010 by: Martin J Cowling

Today, I have chosen what i believe are the five most fun safety briefings in the sky. See what you think (below).

First: a few comments about on board safety.   I have flown 683 times. In that time, while I have had five scarey flights*, i have never been in an emergency. Air Travel is indeed a very safe way to travel. However, the time I am in an emergency, I want and need to know how to get off that plane alive-fast. So, it amazes me how many people sleep, chat or read through the safety video. Hence why airlines are resorting to fun ways to engage with passengers.

Five reasons why people ignore safety videos

  1. Some people  have flown so often they think they know it all. Yet research suggests that in an emergency, even frequent flyer’s become confused and/or freeze. You really need to listen and pay attention for every flight
  2. Some do not believe an accident can happen to them
  3. Some are so scared of flying that they want to avoid any possibility of something going wrong so they even avoid the safety briefing
  4. Some people are so excited that they are oblivious to whats going on
  5. Some people are just not aware that there are still risks because we have all become accustomed to saying how safe it is to fly

WATCH Your Next Safety Briefing

  1. Watch and listen to the safety briefing – you may be grateful one day
  2. Ask others to be quiet for it (I was once on an Ansett flight where the FA asked two passengers to shut up). Although I was not sure of it was appropriate to ask the United crew to shut up when they talked loudly through the demo on a recent flight
  3. Totally concentrate on that briefing (i have found myself sometimes drifting off to another world  and had to come back to earth)
  4. Count the seats to two different exits….do not assume if you are seated at one, that you will be able to get out that way
  5. Hunt for your life jacket during the briefing. If you are needing to find it in a smoke filled cabin emergency, its good to know where it is.  I know there are people who remove life jackets off planes as a prank. This is an offense under most jurisdictions and bloody stupid

Five Best Safety Videos…believe me you will enjoy them! Then please vote for your favourite!
Check videos below or at the People First YouTube Channel here and vote here

  1. Air New Zealand: Essentials of Safety-Fun and Quirky
  2. Cebu Pacific Male Dancing Team   -fun and sexy and Female Dancing Team -fun and sexy
  3. Southwest Rapping FA-very Southwest Airlines
  4. Thompson Airways- Alice and Co- so cute!
  5. Virgin America-Cartoon-great visual and auditory gags 

Which one do you like the best… please vote here!

*what I defined as scarey!

Airports brace for ‘don’t touch my junk’ protests

Posted on: November 24th, 2010 by: Martin J Cowling

From MSNBC: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40351426/ns/travel/

Travelers dismayed by airport body scans are headed to airports Wednesday with the makings of any good protest: handmade fliers, eye-catching placards, slogan-bearing T-shirts — and Scottish kilts.

The loosely organized effort dubbed National Opt-Out Day hopes to highlight what some call unnecessarily intrusive security screenings. Others fear it will merely snarl pre-Thanksgiving airline operations on one of the busiest travel days of the year.

If enough people opt for a pat-down rather than a body scan, security-line delays could quickly cascade .

More than 40 million people plan to travel over the Thanksgiving holiday, according to AAA, with just more than 1.6 million flying — a 3.5 percent increase from last year. Body scans for passengers chosen at random take as little as 10 seconds. New pat-down procedures, which involve a security worker touching travelers’ crotch and chest areas, can take 4 minutes or longer.

The full-body scanners show a traveler’s physical contours on a computer in a private room removed from security checkpoints. But critics say they amount to virtual strip searches.

About 70 airports nationwide have more than 400 of the refrigerator-sized imaging units. Only around 20 percent of travelers are asked to go through them, but passengers cannot opt out of both the scan and the pat-down once they have been randomly selected for the enhanced searches.

Officials say the procedures are necessary to ward off terror attacks like the attempted bombing of a Detroit-bound plane last Christmas by a Nigerian man who stashed explosives in his underwear. 

At a main checkpoint in Atlanta on Tuesday, a few passengers asked to step through a scanner grimaced before walking through, while others seemed more bemused than annoyed.

Out of 30 asked to go through during a half-hour period, just two opted for a pat-down. Karen Keebler, 54, of Atlanta said later that her main concern was the low-level radiation. The TSA says the scans emit very low radiation and aren’t a health risk.

“I just think the less radiation the better, and if you can opt out, you need to,” she said.

Wednesday’s planned protest is the brainchild of Brian Sodergren of Ashburn, Va., who constructed a one-page website early this month urging people to decline scans.

But public interest boomed after an Oceanside, Calif., man named John Tyner resisted a scan and groin check at the San Diego airport with the words, “If you touch my junk, I’ll have you arrested.” A cell-phone video of the incident went viral.

Tyner’s words became famous, spawning online sales of T-shirts, bumper stickers and even underwear emblazoned with the words, “Don’t Touch My Junk!” A Google search of the phrase on Tuesday registered 4.2 million hits.    Saturday Night Live jumped on the controversy last weekend, with a minute-long skit equating the TSA with a dating service. The skit ends: “It’s our business to touch yours.”Pilots and flight attendants also had complained about being subject to body scans and pat-downs. On Friday, the TSA said pilots could avoid the more intense screening. TSA spokesman Nick Kimball confirmed the same for flight attendants Tuesday

Both groups must show photo ID and go through metal detectors. If that sets off an alarm, they may still get a pat-down in some cases, he said.

Publicity or no, some predicted little fallout from the planned protest, with many travelers at airports Tuesday deriding the effort and saying the stepped-up security measures made them feel safer.

“I think there ought to be two flights,” said Jacksonville, Fla., native Marc Gruber, 53, who was at the Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International airport. “One for people who want to be scanned and one for people who don’t want to be scanned.” 

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