Some people can’t help but tell on themselves. Whether it is blatantly rude, or something said with a smile, in a bid to be “helpful,” it seems like there’s always someone eager to suggest by way of a pointed comment that you don’t belong.
Recently, foodie and frequent traveler TravelwithNige (@travelwithnige) caught condescension by way of microaggression on video.
In his TikTok, which has garnered 8.5 million views. Nige can be seen settling into his seat adjusting his cross-body bag and buckling his seatbelt. Then a voice can be heard saying, “You can’t have that down for take off.”
He’s got the tray table down. He’s filming himself and minding his business.
He turns to her and graciously says, “Thank you for that.”
And then they both laugh politely.
Then Nige finishes settling into his seat, rolls his eyes in exasperation, because he knows we know what just happened. Next the camera view shifts, and viewers can see him returning his tray table to its upright and locked position. Finally he gives the situation a very “brittle” thumbs up.
He captioned the video, “When you’re Black, you’re never really alone.”
There are two distinct camps emerging in the comments section. There are those who say that the “Karen” in the next seat is presuming that Nige is an inexperienced flyer: that he clearly needs help navigating the complex world of in-flight seat trays. Others attested to her niceness, and see her attempt at rule enforcement as just “saving some time” for everyone.
“If you think she’s being ‘nice,’ you’re probably engaging in the same microaggressions,” said Melfyx. Which set off a firestorm in the comments.
“Don’t be confused…. He’s looking to validate his ego constantly… Either with filming himself, or being a professional victim…,” said Itme.
While others, like Userwhatever967, leapt to Nige’s defense. “Yeah. She was patronizing,” one wrote.
The big divide is centered around what Nige’s seat mate meant: Was her comment ill-intentioned or genuine? Either way, Nige posted a subsequent video explaining his take in greater detail.
“For all of you who are in the comments trying to say I’m playing the victim, I wish you all were there to see the expression on that woman’s face. From the moment I boarded that woman was looking at me, up and down,” he says.
And once he found his seat,”I didn’t even sit for 2.5 seconds and she was on my case,” he recalls.
His take? “I’ve been living in the UK for seven years and I know microaggressions. It’s my lived experience. So I knew from the beginning, it was very much giving microaggression,” he states.
But that’s not the end of it, Nigel says that “the sweetest part” of the entire thing was that “she was not even in her allocated seat.”
Purportedly the flight attendant came around and instructed her to find her correct seat.
Nige captions the follow-up “Get to the back of the bus,” underscoring the link between microaggressions and racism. It’s a shorthand reference for the kind of casual dismissal that implies you aren’t sophisticated enough to know how these things work.
The Equity Project defines microaggressions as either intentional or unintentional slights or insults that communicate hostile messages. Typically, these are to people or groups who’ve been marginalized or harmed. Often they’re small, hard to pin-down comments or gestures communicating things like “you don’t belong here.”
Conscious or unconscious, biases are revealed. Like who gets to travel internationally, and what kind of behavior is acceptable. Apparently tray tables are no-no, but taking someone else’s seat is fair game. It smacks of “rules are for thee, not for me.”
BoardingArea reached out to Nige via email and TikTok direct message. We’ll update this if he gets back to us.
@travelwithnige When you’re black, you’re never really lonely…… It’s not my first time flying sweetheart x #solotravel
